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IMPORTANT SCIENTIFIC DEMONSTRATION RE: ALL DRUGS

A study conducted by the trustworthy United States Government reveals all drugs fuck you up equally, severely and permanently.

Washington, D.C., Tx–An independent study by the US Government was conducted on a stovetop Friday, twenty years ago. The results are inconclusive by logic of the critically-flawed scientific method, but based on what the President’s top aides are saying, stand firm. The dependent variables of the study were not verified and its results are taken as fact based on the government’s good track record of providing honest, objective, Christian scientific research.

The evidence in this photo suggests dope addicts have begun using guns as drugs, possibly by ingesting bullets anally in a new and creative effort to "get high"
The evidence in this photo suggests dope addicts have begun using guns as drugs, possibly by ingesting bullets anally in a new and creative effort to "get high"

“All drugs are the same,” said one expert. “Dope’ll kill ya,” said another. The men wished to remain anonymous because like all government officials, they are huge pussies and don’t stand behind their own words.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING VIDEO IS INTENDED FOR MATURE, MALE AUDIENCES ONLY. IF YOUR CHILDREN SEE THIS AND START FRYING UP EGGS TO GET HIGH, IT IS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU ARE A BAD PARENT UNWORTHY OF OWNING CHILDREN.

[flashvideo file=”http://elfwax.com/wp-content/uploads/Bill%20Hicks%20-%20Your%20Brain%20on%20Drugs%20(TV%20Comercial).flv” /]

Click here to watch Bill Hicks make fun of this at The Elf Wax Times’ Bill Hicks Hall of Fame, featuring Bill Hicks!

3 replies on “IMPORTANT SCIENTIFIC DEMONSTRATION RE: ALL DRUGS”

He’s an important role model for young people everywhere. You are hungry when you’re stoned because your body is decaying and your stomach is rotted out, therefore you experience the illusion of hunger.

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