Fever To Sing

Fever to Sing was a festival. Elf Wax was there. . . .

Noteworthy note reveals autonomous manifestation as method of existence

An Oshawa resident passes a cryptic note to a passenger on the subway who then uploaded it to the internet. Questions were asked. The truth is here. . . .

CAPS LOCK ULTRA

Lebal Drocer unleashes a new product on humanity. “This time it’s legal,” says spokesman Jeffrey Winebergeron. . . .

Open Letter to Danny Gilmore

For the second time in a row, The Elf Wax Times picked up your slack because nobody is willing to stand up for fucking anything. . . .

PROTEST IN D.C.

Anti-war protest takes off in Washington, D.C. Live coverage right here at Elf Wax – just for the hell of it. . . .

ANTI-WAR PROTEST IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

Washington, D.C.–Tens of thousands of protesters are expected to gather in front of the White House to protest the Afghanistan and Iraq wars. Elf Wax reports live from noon to six. . . .

Google Googles self, search feature 'disabled until further notice'

Google collapsed under the weight of its own self-searching, a glitch that has cost many their lives. Why, God, why? . . .

Beware of Dawgs

Keep the Change. . . .

Sarah Palin illegally crosses border to receive free health care

Whitehorse, Canada–Sarah Palin was seen jumping out of a dirty, overloaded pick up truck Tuesday and crossing the Canadian border to steal single-payer Health Care. . . .

What Salvia Is Like

At first, Calvin’s lips melted and dripped off his face. Repetitious, nonsensical anti-reality set in for what felt like eternity but ended rather quickly, and then – he turned on himself. . . .