Yesterday Fox News released their own Twitter d0x on PasteBin. “The Script Kiddies,” a new group of LulzSec wannabes, used this opportunity to post an old Chronicle.SU story.
The Fox News PasteBin posting attempts to pin the blame on th3j35t3r. the3j35t3r is a “hacktivist for good,” although detractors claim he is linked to the Illuminati and the CIA. Our analysts have decided that this is an obvious red herring thrown out by Fox News, who just wanted to a July 4th hacktivist attack for teh ratings. th3j35t3r would nevar attack Fox News, especially on July 4th.
The “Script Kiddies” are in fact a false flag operation run personally by Rupert Murdoch himself. The fact that Twitter shut down the Script Kiddies’ web site is proof of collusion. Twitter never shuts down hacker accounts.
Fox News let the “hackers” have several hours to continue seeding rumors of Obama’s death, really enjoying the drama they created on Independence day.
Meanwhile, Jeff Goldblum has created a virus that he will be inserting into FoxNews.com’s incomprehensibly advanced computer system. It’s based off of the stuxnet source code, and will finally deactivate the robotic Michelle Bachmann’s defense shield.
In a dark cave somewhere, Glen Beck is planning his comeback on a blackboard, using diagrams that only he can possibly understand. Wash them tears away, Glen, I know you love this country, but only Jeff Goldblum can save us nao.
Editor’s note: There are explosives placed in the homes of every American, which will detonate sometime around sunset. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED AMERICA.
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