Rick Perry Anointed Next GOP President of the United States at Bohemian Grove

RICK PERRY JUGGALO 2012 BITCHESWhen the not-so-secret Illuminati two week sexcapade retreat known as Bohemian Grove concluded last week, Rick Perry emerged as the the next “anointed one” by several Grove insiders. This and much more was uncovered as the Governor himself made an appearance at the one day cameo at the 2,700-acre campground in Monte Rio, California.

BOHEMIAN GROVE

The biggest buzz to come out of the summer camp for the world’s richest and most powerful gay men was that current Texas Governor (and avowed Juggalo) was anointed the New World Order’s pick to be president of the United States of America. Multiple sources with in the satanic homosexual encampment confirmed that Rick Perry will be sworn in as the 46th President of the United States in 2012. Yes you read that right, 46th.

SHEEN BARACK U MAD BRO U MAD!?The next phase of the New World Order’s plan for global enslavement was revealed and will kick off next month, with the planned appearance of NWO sock puppet Charile Sheen at the annual gathering of the Juggalos.

MAGIC AND MIRACLESAt the concert Rick Perry will make a “surprise” appearance and give the Insane Clown Posse community an exclusive with his official Presidential exploratory committee announcement from the stage with Ice Cube and George Clinton. The added publicity is expected to aid the jump start of a popular “grass roots” campaign by exploiting the mass popularity of Insane Clown Posse.

WHO MAD!? OBAMA JOKER DAT WHOMeanwhile, Barack Obama is conflicted about how he wants to go out. The Soros wing want him to develop a “severe illness” and bow out of the 2012 race. The Koch wing keeps pushing for a more dramatic exit, perhaps a faux assassination via a “radical tea partier type.” With many outsiders speculating that the recent situation in Oslo was a dry run for a possible White House false flag operation, mum’s the word in the Grove.

SHAGGY Y U MAD Y ERRYBODY MADWhite House sources at the Grove were tight lipped about what Obama is leaning toward, but word floating around a few late night camp fires suggested that he is leaning toward bowing out like a chump with some “family related” excuse.

OBAMA BIDEN I LIKE MENMany anuses in the Grove were tingled by the rumors that Barack would make an appearance at camp, but alas it never happened because Michelle still has his ass on lock. Despite the conspiracy theories floating throught the Grove, it was apparent that somehow Joe Biden will step in at election time and eventually be defeated by Perry in a lop sided race.

YO IM RICK PERRY PEACE OUTDuring his time at the naked resort Perry engaged in the usual activities: lake-side talks, gay sex and Satanic rituals from ancient Mesopotamia. The Governor was seen networking with several key figures who will no doubt play a role in his run for the White House.

EL E PIMCO WE RUN THIS SHITA sample of the who’s who list who met with Perry included: Charlie Rose, Nuriel Rubini, Mohamed A. El-Erian, Henry Kissenger, Bill Clinton, Richard Thaler, Shaggy 2 Dope, Alex Jones, Charlie Sheen, Andrew Breitbart, Barrett Brown, Eric Boehlert, Joe Rogan, Marilyn Manson, and Buckethead.

7 comments to Rick Perry Anointed Next GOP President of the United States at Bohemian Grove

  • Joey

    Mogul wrote this

  • Shadownigger Shrubfucker

    This was written by a top-secret genetically engineered satire experiment run amuck.

  • Anton OyVey

    Thanks Media Mogul, I put my life on the line, and my anus, to get you this exclusive. Speaking of anuses, Shadownigger loves little boys.

  • David

    Really? ICP, Charlie Sheen, and Joe Rogan?!?!? WTF are you smoking? 1. ICP’s fanbase is FAR from political. 2. Charlie Sheen’s cred is about as real as the Tiger Blood in his veins. 3. Joe Rogan’s views are WAY different on matters of politics and humanity, than an elitist like Perry. This makes me question the reliability of your story. One might think you’re just making this shit up on the fly.

Leave a Reply

  

  

  

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>