Articles Are Killing The Chronicle

What’s with all the stories?

Chronicle.SU used to be way better, like back in August 2008 before you started writing again. Please stop writing. Articles are killing the Chronicle.

Seems like every day, almost twice a day, there’s something to read about here, some fake-ass news story with jokes and humor in it. You know what? Maybe I don’t want to read anything. Maybe I’d rather F5 this shit all day and see nothing, just the same old fucking Books Are Dangerous advertisements.

You know what else, I really don’t understand you. Why do you write? What do you hope to achieve? What is the Lebal Drocer mission statement? They’re a chemical company, right, so what are they doing in the publishing business? You sicken me. Oh, by the way, Washington finally reached a debt agreement. Enjoy your continued tax breaks while I quietly accept cuts to my children’s education and medicare. Fucken scum.

You faggots need to go back to your roots and quit all this. I thought you used to get high all the time, prank-call Wal-Marts, drank yourselves into week-long stupors, and got mad underage puss on the reg. What happened to you? What the fuck happened to you?

Listen, I can’t tell you what to do. But I can tell you this: Ain’t nobody likes to read as much as you guys been writing. The average reader needs a lot of pictures. Hell, I prefer nothing but pictures. In fact, I wouldn’t be at all upset if the Chronicle gradually shifted completely to the use of pictures without words to tell their stories, and maybe just used faces to make me feel emotions I wouldn’t otherwise relate to such as weariness, joy, gratification and rage. Like Reddit does!

If I was you, which I am, I’d just scrap this site altogether, man. Cats are funnier. Cats are damn funny. Look.

Cat vaccination

Hilarious.

Piss on ya. Start a cat blog.

Everything is shit! Cyberterrorists! All of you contribute to the decay of this Earth. You are poison! Venomous, reviled internet pigs of war on Christianity, peace and the Lord’s good name be damned if you don’t change your ways and quit altering history the way you are! IF you seek salvation, repent now! And if not, I hope you all rot in hell on fire forever as you suffer the unlimited lifetimes of heat and brimstone, flames kissing your asses, just like your fucken heathen-ass fans do now. Like you deserve, or don’t – or whichever, shit hell I’m all turned around.

Love the Twitter feed, though.

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