Jamie Corne promotes genocide

Jamie (AKA TwistedGypsyChild) from Presstorm.com is back again, now with a really cool “final solution” to the Muslim problem. In a post titled Why we must kill all Muslims, Corne praises her extreme Islamophobic propaganda video even though it is just a lame slideshow that flashes quotations more quickly than they can be read.

Corne has had her criminal past, as unearthed by Chronicle.SU, follow her to nearly every corner of the internet, and she is now facing extreme criticism from posters at LiberalForum.org. In her “final” post (it wasn’t, but she has made several more “final” posts in the same thread), she breaks down and tells her side of the story.

“After I got out of prison, and was on parole, I once again tried to gain custody of my boys … He nailed me with child support so that the money I wanted to use for a lawyer on my 5.25 an hour pay went toward child support instead. I was co-owner of my own high performance auto shop shortly after I started paying child support … and soon was given a Honda s2000 by my current boyfriend that I tuned up and began street racing (and drag IHRA racing) with in hopes that I could raise enough money from the street racing to pay for the 5 thousand dollar retainer.”

Jamie Corne, a desperate mother on a mission to regain custody of her sons, enters the world of street racing to pay for a lawyer.

Several things in this story don’t add up. Tuning up free cars for street racing as a means to win a custody battle is just the funniest. The plot of Corne’s story ends with her as a wise and learned social commenter who knows more about life because of her struggles.

Corne’s past has relevance, but not in the way she has presented it. Her opinions are as impulsive and dangerous as her street racing career. She is actively and directly promoting violence against Muslims, carelessly feeding the flames of Islamophobia and attempting to influence violent acts.

Jamie is trying to cash in on her “famous” online persona by selling poorly made crafts. As it turns out, her earlier idea to collect donations fizzled out when she revealed that her involvement with Anonymous was all a clever ploy to allow her to better investigate their activities.

Akon Dead at 38

Akon, 38, died in his Atlanta home November 20, 2011.
Akon, 38, died in his Atlanta home November 20, 2011.

Atlanta– Fans mourn the loss of Aliaune Damala Badara Thiam, the artist better known by the name ‘Akon,’ who died early Sunday morning at his home in Atlanta.

Akon was pronounced dead at 3:48 a.m. EST. Cause of death was listed as “Complications associated with acquired immunodeficiency syndrome,” or AIDS. He was 38.

Akon is survived by three ex-wives and six children.

Because no will was entered into the public record, Akon’s charity for underprivileged children in Africa, the Konfidence Foundation, will dissolve.

Remaining assets are to be turned over to DR (Congo) for future disbursement to nobody in particular.

Akon suffered in the wake of an incident at a 2007 concert in Trinidad and Tobago during which he simulated a sexual act onstage with a 15-year-old girl. When Akon realized what was happening, he instinctively “finished,” and left the girl onstage to deal with their imaginary pregnancy alone, in a puddle of shame and booming bass rhythms.

Dating Advice: from Doctor Angstrom H. Troubedaur

Dr. Angstrom H. TroubedaurHey, what’s up fellow dudes?

I’m here to chill on a problem that has plagued humanity since the dawn of the Internet: Dating.

Now, there are an unlimited number of ways to date, and many cultures have backward traditions different from our own. But this doesn’t mean it has to be impossible! Perhaps some of us young American men have just forgotten how to hunt.

After decades of studying human behavior, I’ve come up with a short list of do’s and dont’s – and some other shit that is sure to land you the kind of submissive sex object you think you desire. That is, of course, before she backstabs you like a bitch whore, which always happens 100% of the time. Am I right, dudes?

When dating, here are seven things you should definitely do:

1. Repeatedly send her friend requests on Facebook. This demonstrates persistence, showing her you are dedicated and ready for a worthwhile mate. Make status updates that passingly reference her and her interests. Mirror her personality in every way that you can. She will appreciate this.

2. Find out where she hangs out, and go there. Be careful not to approach her right away; instead, take the time to study her habits and personality so you can best approach her successfully.

3. Make joking insults about her in the company of others. She will be impressed with your edgy sense of humor.

4. Once you’re “in,” be as cold and emotionally distant as possible. She will grow to crave your emotional warmth more and more, and you can use this as a “power tool” to control her behavior.

5. Keep a clean apartment. If a woman comes over and sees that it is dirty, her feminine instincts will cause her to resent you because she will assume it is her obligation to clean it. Even though it is, you want to wait till she is completely submissive before allowing her the cleaning duties she naturally desires.

6. Constantly be on the lookout for any clues that might suggest insubordination. All women will naturally want to cheat on you and eventually break up with you. Be prepared for this and stamp it out ahead of time, if you can.

7. It is your job to predict the many unseen forces which are at work. As the relationship finally fails, it may dawn on you that it is your fault for lacking knowledge of her indiscretions. It is never too late to go through her email. Install a keylogger on her computer. This will give you valuable insights into her opinion of you and let you know for sure whether or not she is cheating on you yet.

Is your love interest microwaved or prepared fresh on the stove? Try to avoid doing any of the following while on your first hot date, to keep it from getting cold:

Under NO circumstance should you:

1. Reveal that you are human. This is off-putting and violates a woman’s natural boundaries.

2. Freely voice your opinion. If anything you say is objectionable, the lady twirling her martini across the table from you may shut down, or go into hibernation – and you’ll be stuck paying the full bill without a hope in the world of even touching her breasts.

3. Be quiet. But also try not to talk about yourself. Women just don’t give a fuck. If you can’t think of anything else to say, ask about her obsession with cats. Once she starts flapping her gums, you can zone back out again. Picture yourself playing Minecraft while she babbles on about her meaningless life.

4. Reveal your juvenile hobbies, such as comic books or videogames. This is a glaring signal that you are not yet disconnected from your worthless past. This is known to later cause feelings of tension or guilt in the female mind after she recognizes she is not only destroying you as a human being, but your inner child as well.

5. Let on like you are responsible with money. She will assume you’re poor and unable to buy her luxuries. Luxuries are the only thing women really care about in life, other than cats, so before you reveal even a shade of frugality, consider stealing jewelry and clothing from Macy’s.

6. Take “no” for an answer. This is self-explanatory.

7. Get bitter because you are an unlovable, abusive monster. If she can’t accept you for who you are, then she can GET FUCKED, like the little SLUT she IS.

Be on the lookout for the woman who:

1. Doesn’t eat, abuses serious drugs. This is a sign she needs help. Let somebody else deal with it. She’s probably got AIDS anyway.

2. Has children. She will eventually expect you to adopt it. That’s heavy shit, bro.

3. Wants commitment. You’re a wild eagle, man. And eagles gotta be free.

4. Is vegetarian, vegan, religious, political, or otherwise predisposed to strong beliefs of any kind. Eventually, she will force her beliefs upon you and that just won’t do. This is also a sign of independent thought, which is anathema to a healthy relationship.

5. Is against abortion. Since you never use a condom, she will have to be down with the coat hanger one way or another.

If you catch her reading this list[http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/redflaglist.shtml], or anything like it, immediately forbid her from the internet! Material like this will nullify all the do’s and dont’s, inevitably leading your pet girlfriend to think for herself, dissolving her love for you.

Toast Sandwich craze sweeps Britain

The Chef serves up a piece of toast, cleverly sandwiched between two pieces of untoasted bread. (This image is used without permission)

The Royal Society of Chemistry unveiled a delicious new sandwich, rediscovered from the golden Victorian era. The toast sandwich, a piece of toast between two pieces of untoasted bread, is touted as the cheapest lunch possible. UK residents have celebrated this incredible discovery by throwing lavish toast sandwich parties, as they are finally able to afford to eat a healthy meal full of necessary vitamins and minerals.

Gerard Loffington-Starkley spoke high praise of his new favorite meal, “I fucking love toast sandwiches they taste so fucking good and saved me enough money to finally afford toothpaste. Hopefully in another week my gums will stop bleeding from all this fucking toast I eat at every single meal!”

The Royal Society of Chemistry has offered an extremely generous reward of £200 for anyone who can come up with a cheaper meal. Some have already suggested cutting the toast sandwich to only one piece of bread, but the Royal Society has denied such innovators any reward. Lord of Chemistry, Sir Mitchell Dunkworthington III, said “That doesn’t even count as a different type of sandwich, it’s just the same thing with less bread. No prize.”

Austerity is finally coming full circle for the people of Great Britain, and with ingenious ideas like the toast sandwich, the British empire may finally be seeing a glimmer of hope for the end of this terrible economic collapse.

Geo and sp00k engage in flame war to win the affection of Chronicle staff

goldieofhawnTwo complete loser fans of the Chronicle.SU hijacked the comment section earlier today for an exchange of weak ass insults. The old woman, Spook, attacked soon-to-be-dropout Geo’s verifiable unwarranted self-importance while continuing to taunt Geo successfully using logical fallacies and immature insults. Geo struck back with his generalized righteous indignation, belittling Spook for her obvious lack of sophistication.

The Chronicle basked in hatred as the writers and editors absorbed the malice from this flame war like the emotional vampires we are. Hyper-aware that this is all just a pissing contest to win the Chronicle’s undying attention and respect, Chronicle staff was entirely indifferent, only interested in instigating the hatred via direct messages on Twitter.

Spook’s former Twitter handles were released to Geo and the US government via pointed tweets. Her paranoia was palpable. Geo quickly seized hold of this weakness and now appears to have the upper hand, chastising Spook for her homophobia as she continues to insist that Geo is in fact a faggot.

Both parties need to step it up and resort to the most desperate measures possible.

CHRONICLE SUPPRESSED BY INDIGNANT US GOVERNMENT

Key members of the U.S. Senate have privately avowed to have the Chronicle taken down
Key members of the U.S. Senate have privately avowed to have chronicle.su taken down forever.

WASHINGTON– PRECLUDING THE PROTECT IP ACT, FEDERAL ACTION WAS TAKEN LATE SATURDAY NIGHT AGAINST THE CHRONICLE.SU IN ONE OF A HANDFUL OF “PLANNED ATTACKS” AGAINST WEBSITES “DEDICATED TO INFRINGING ACTIVITIES.” THE NATURE OF THE ATTACK, HOWEVER, IS POLITICALLY MOTIVATED.

HERE’S WHY:

THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY IN QUESTION [WHOSE AUDIO COPYRIGHT BELONGS TO A DEAD HOBO] IS NOT HOSTED AT CHRONICLE.SU, MEANING NOT ONLY ARE THE ACTIONS TAKEN AGAINST THE CHRONICLE ILLEGAL, THEY ARE AN ABUSE OF POWER GRANTED BY A LAW WHICH DOESN’T EVEN EXIST YET.

Roy Blunt ready to "drop the hammer" on chronicle.su
"Hammer those Chronicle boys into shape with THIS!"

THE CHRONICLE.SU IS ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN LEGAL BATTLES WITH “SEVERAL” MEMBERS OF THE UNITED STATES SENATE, NAMELY A DISCREET LIST OF CO-SPONSORS OF THE “PROTECT IP ACT.” NOT ONLY DOES OUR TAKEDOWN SUBVERT THE FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS OF CHRONICLE STAFF [ALL AMERICAN CITIZENS] BUT THE ASSAULT COMES DIRECTLY FROM WITHIN THE GOVERNMENT [IN CONTRAST TO RECENT ATTACKS BY RIGHTWING PSEUDOHACKERS KNOWN WITHIN THE INTERNET COMMUNITY AS “SCRIPT KIDDIES”].

DOING YOUR PART:

FREEDOM ISN’T FREE. TO COVER OVERSEAS HOSTING COSTS AND “INCREASING DRUG INTAKE” THE CHRONICLE.SU STAFF IS PASSIVELY ACCEPTING BITCOIN DONATIONS AT THE FOLLOWING ADDRESS:

1PpkFjUeCUc2gJmCVuw79zGQTKjzEWG8yr

THE EMBATTLED CHRONICLE.SU HAS BROKEN OFF FROM THE UNITED STATES AND HAS EXPRESSED CONTROVERSIAL SOLIDARITY WITH UNCONVENTIONAL PARTNERS: THE SEPARATIST MOVEMENT PKK, THE KURDISTAN WORKERS’ PARTY.

PKKTHE PKK IS A KURDISH MILITANT ORGANIZATION WHICH HAS SINCE 1984 BEEN FIGHTING AN ARMED STRUGGLE AGAINST THE TURKISH STATE FOR AN AUTONOMOUS NATION AND GREATER HUMAN RIGHTS FOR ALL PEOPLE.

CHRONICLE.SU IS REPORTED TO HAVE RECEIVED THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN EXCHANGE FOR ONGOING POLITICAL SUPPORT TO THE COMMUNIST REGIME.

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN.
THE ATTACKS AGAINST THE CHRONICLE.SU AND LEBAL DROCER WILL NOT STAND. THE CHRONICLE.SU WILL NEVER DIE. CENSORSHIP IS QUIET. THE TRUTH IS LOUD.

THEY WILL DO ALL THAT THEY CAN TO CHIP AWAY AT OUR FREEDOMS OF SPEECH. THIS IS ONE IN A MYRIAD OF PECKS INTO A STONE MOUNTAIN OF UGLY TRUTHS THE GOVERNMENT DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW. WE WILL WIN.

THE CHRONICLE ALWAYS WINS.

“READ THE CHRONICLE. KNOW THE TRUTH.”

[email protected]

Infiltrators spoil Occupy movement


This video highlights all the different types of infiltrators.

Government plants have invaded the Occupy movement, and no, they are not just the Black Bloc vandals. These plants are screaming bloody murder about how incredibly peaceful they are as they thrash around and resist arrest. These provocateurs are doing a perfect job at ruining all the good intentions of the movement, disgracing what was once a peaceful protest. Rather than calmly sitting through arrests, provocateurs stage histrionic fits for news cameras and disgrace the otherwise peaceful protest.

Rather than broadcasting the many instances of excessive police force, the government has forced media to air these shameful “protesters” resisting arrest. These tantrums might appear to be the predictable behavior of spoiled first world middle class brats, but don’t be fooled. These are highly sophisticated agent provocateurs who know exactly how to best discredit the 99%.

1%er and Republican plant, Michael Moore, is touring from occupation to occupation, promoting his latest book and filming a new documentary. Anonymous has fired back with “#OpFatty,” threatening, and in true style, not following up with doxing of Moore. Andrew Breitbart, a Democrat plant, is feigning interest in #OpFatty because he is also a fatty and may find himself in the cross hairs of  Anonymous.

Occupy Wall Street lobbies for prolapsed rectum coverage under Obamacare: Get the fuck off the streets

We don’t want to see these fucking homeless people congregating at Occupy events because their existence is illegal. Just like the encampments, it’s illegal. Since when is camping in public places the freedom of assembly? Shit, if you’re out of work, go find it. It’s as simple as that. Not working is illegal – it’s called vagrancy – and you have no excuse not to have a job. Get off the streets.

Now motherfuckers are getting shot, and when you bring all these homeless and mentally ill drug addicts into one area without giving them the business, that’s what should be expected. Rapes, overdoses, murders, shootings – these things are all the fault of the Occupy movement and not a symptom of a failing economy that leaves its less fortunate children to the streets. If anything, this economy gives more opportunities than any other country in the fucking world because America’s fucking great and you’d be stupid to say otherwise. Would you rather be in China? If so, get off the streets and go to China. Enjoy communism.

I mean these monkeys are out there smearing their shit into the sidewalk and fucking openly on the street. What kind of sick fucks think this is okay? This is how they demand free money from the government? Sickening. You know what these creeps are? They’re a bunch of whining uneducated kids full of first world problems. Again, get off the streets and read a book. I suggest starting with Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged.

But oh no, my bowel’s prolapsed from too much anal fucking, can you please pay for it with some Obamacare? Yeah, now waste that government money researching a cure to AIDS, which I got from my reckless and impulsive behavior. Mmmm yeah I’m getting high on this government cheese, payin’ for my medical marijuana. Obamacare’s soooo dank.

These feces deserve what they get and I don’t want my tax money wasted on their lavish entitlements. Shut it all fucking down. All we need is a military and a president to send them at our enemies (Muslims). That’s what the founding fathers imagined. Business will sort itself out. All this regulation does is waste money turning people into limp-dicked Occupy types who live off of food stamps and cry bloody murder when they aren’t handed a free sex change operation.

These Occupy fucks obviously never knew discipline as children. They were brought up in an age when spanking (necessary) was frowned upon. Now look at what’s happened. People are dying in the streets just so they can get MORE handouts from a government that’s TRILLIONS in debt.

These people are Traitors.

Wanted: th3j35t3r

Barrett Brown’s recent campaign against the murderous Zeta cartel has provoked Brown’s enemies into a doxing frenzy. The Jester’s cadre of “whitehat” hackers have managed to publish Brown’s current address, forcing Brown to borrow money from his followers on Twitter for a quick flight to New York. It is not clear if his family members, who have also been outed by Jester’s group, will be able to lobby Twitter for an escape as well.

Yes, Barrett Brown has slandered Asheville District Attorney Ron Moore. Yes, Brown’s campaign against the Zetas is incredibly stupid and will most likely lead to violence. But there’s still a miniscule chance that Ron Moore is guilty of something and Brown is actually withholding the proof for some unimaginable reason. Anyway, we have chosen not to really fucking care about that anymore. Since Barrett Brown has decided to become an hero, we are going to cut him a little slack to respect his final days. The fucking Jester and his crew, who attacked and threatened Chronicle.SU staff, must be dealt with.

The Jester cadre’s brand of passive violence is reprehensible and will not be tolerated. That is why the Chronicle.SU has joined Barrett Brown by offering a $500 cash reward for proven information revealing the identity of Jester.