POLICE IN TIMES SQUARE HAVE GASSED THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF THE 99%
New York–Occupy Wall Street protesters were gassed today by police officers who were covering their badges with duct tape. After being herded into a paddywagon, tear gas cannisters were deployed on innocent protesters who were completely peaceful and in fact already restrained.
Video equipment was destroyed and phones were confiscated by riot police, who also deployed an LRAD sonic crowd control device to control the peaceful protest with rays of concentrated pain.
Peace officers removed sim cards from confiscated mobile devices and stamped them into pieces before protesters before throwing the phones away, presumably in an attempt to destroy evidence of wrongdoing.
New York City is on the brink of martial law, and hundreds of FEMA vehicles were spotted crossing the Brooklyn Bridge earlier today.
Unconfirmed reports surfaced of Black Hawk helicopters being spotted in the skies over Times Square and around Manhattan.
Area residents are reportedly “grateful” for police efforts to bring down the noise level in surrounding areas.
“They just wouldn’t quit with those drums,” complained Marcy Hennegan, 43, a high-rise resident around Zucotti Park.
Protesters were heard screaming out “Why?” while onlookers chanted “Shame! Shame! Shame!” over the sounds of orange gas lines hissing, fed into the open slots of various police vans in the area.