Julian Assange weighs in as Anonymous lashes out at leadership within U.S. Department of Justice

Anonymous has long been “infiltrated” by the Department of Homeland Security, whose job it is to instigate irrational, retaliatory actions within the Anonymous collective; however, the cyberwar took a giant leap forward Friday during #OPMegaUpload when Anonymous attacked the Department of Justice website, turning on what many believe to be its own leadership. Also amid the attacks are Universal Music, who once encouraged the very same file sharing tactics they now wish to charge people with using.

The root of Friday night’s story is the person(s) in control of the LOIC botnet effectively betrayed all politically active anons involved in deliberations and general IRC channels, handing their identities directly over to the federal government. In a long campaign against online anonymity, attacking the Department of Justice website “as a means of protest” is a strategic political move (on behalf of the United States Government) which appears on the surface to protest SOPA while in fact falling in line with larger plan to constrict freedom of the Internet on the whole.

When Rolling Stone magazine questioned Julian Assange about Anonymous, possibly his largest group of supporters, he said,We were involved with Anonymous from 2008. They were providing us with material related to our investigations into abuses by the Church of Scientology. It was a young pranksterish Internet culture, not something at all to be taken seriously.”

How a conspiracy theory became reality

Among anons, the rationale is as follows: (1) a major part of the collective implicates you in a LOIC attack on the DoJ website using malicious software inadvertently downloaded by a relatively large group of anons who were, unfortunately, tricked into visiting an unsafe web address address, automatically linking them into the botnet. (2) The botnet strikes, leaving your IP address on the long list of attackers involved, which, (3) signals your involvement with anonymous collectives to the authorities who simply go down the list subpoenaing the corresponding ISPs for later prosecution “at-will.”

In almost all previous cases – the LOIC attacks on PayPal and Mastercard, for example – your identity was handed over for prosecution to authorities if you were in the top 1,000 participants of the DDoS attack on their website, since government resources are not unlimited. But in this case, the identities of anons were handed directly to the government, logged by government machines for safekeeping and a few thousand anons’ names just got added to an already long list of domestic surveillance subjects. Worse yet, these are innocent bystanders who did not volunteer to participate in a DDoS attack, but were implemented anyway.

You hear that? Shh. They’re listening in now. On you, this time.

Julian Assange is waiting for the freedom to operate which may never come back in his lifetime, because “In relation to the United States, we’ll have to wait for the revolution.” Inside Anonymous, an all-too familiar feeling is sinking in as hundreds, if not thousands, of people sit at home waiting to be arrested. DDoS attacks, while somewhat useful for sending a message, are becoming widely recognized as the blunted tool of their own eventual demise.

Advice from Assange

“I have a lot of sympathy for journalists who are trying to protect their sources. [ Remaining anonymous is ] very hard now. Unless you’re an electronic-surveillance expert or you have frequent contact with one, you must stay off the Net and mobile phones. You really have to just use the old techniques, paper and whispering in people’s ears. Leave your mobile phones behind. Don’t turn them off, but tell your source to leave electronic devices in their offices. We are now in a situation where countries are recording billions of hours of conversations, and proudly proclaiming that you don’t have to select which telephone call you’re intercepting, because you intercept every telephone call.”

Julian Assange

If Global Warming is real, then why is it so cold?

Lush RimjobRichmond, Va.– It’s almost down to freezing here today, and all I can hear are the liberals complaining about this “global warming” supposedly taking place. Is anybody warm? Not me.

I’m cold, inside and out. And I’m just so mad about everything I see going on in politics today. We want to detain enemy soldiers, enemy combatants, people we believe support the enemy cause and damn it we need to keep a tight lid on this, because the crybaby non-partisans are already starting to catch wind of it. They say, “You can’t detain American citizens!” I say, “Not unless we can determine they show support for the enemy.” If they pay so much as a smile to Al Qaeda, then we ought to lock ’em up. And I mean it. It should have happened sooner, right about the time everybody was bellyaching about “where are the WMDs?” as we liberated Iraq from a tyrannical dictator. Listen, brown people: sooner or later, you’re gonna have to Westernize, that’s just how it is. They weren’t going to do it themselves. Iraqis are not cut from the same cloth as the Arab Springers. In Iraq, they’re a weaker kind of Muslim, but that doesn’t mean we should not try to detain all them too. Jay Leno on latenight sure is a great start, but there are some people whom even Primetime TV can’t help.

I’m a shareholder with Boeing. We understand human suffering. At the same time, we understand war is a necessary enterprise. People can not exist without war. Sometimes war is the only way when you just can’t be together with someone. Sometimes war is the best way. Sometimes war is even kind of fun. Hell, I like war. Boeing creates some of the finest war machines of the 21st Century and I’m proud to hold stock in their company. I just wish people could understand how Boeing and the military-industrial complex helps the war industry create the most jobs out of any other industry. War is quite simply the best approach to the problem of human existence.

Now don’t get me wrong. I hate hearing about women and children suffering as a result of armed conflict sponsored by the United States. I can’t stand it and I know you can’t either which is why I make sure not to run that kind of news, so you don’t feel bad about yourselves and you feel more accepting of wartime conditions, all the time. It’s easier on us all that way. I don’t want to see images of little dead babies in the laps of their crying armless mothers just as bad as you don’t, so hey, let’s just not look at it. Simple as that.

Call me brave. Call me bold. Call me fearless. I’m not afraid of those words. I’m an American and I’m proud of it. And I’m sorry you aren’t.

If more people just learned life is what you make of it, then we’d all be a lot happier, am I right? Of course I am. Now if you want to go and wear black makeup and put a bunch of dark shit on your blog with twenty seven followers, that’s your prerogative but don’t drag the rest of us down with you. Life is what you make of it and I speak for those of us who just want to make money and watch Family Guy. Call me brave. Call me bold. Call me fearless. I’m not afraid of those words. I’m an American and I’m proud of it. And I’m sorry you aren’t.

There are a good number of communists out there, on the internet – or a bad number depending on how you feel – who wish to destroy the very foundations of Democracy upon which this country was built. They’d rather not work and take all your money than see any truly beneficial changes arise out of a free market. But this is all part of a larger campaign against the Freedoms we hold dear in our American hearts. These anarchists want a larger government, and are actively seeking more regulations on an already-suffering market. They do this by sleeping in a nearby park. Despicable.

Global warming cartoonAnd that’s where global warming comes in. The cold weather was supposed to run the occupiers out, but soon it will be warm. Were they shouting about global warming to get us to ignore the problem, just so they could use it to their advantage to protest on through the winter? These self-hating liberal American communists are devious creatures, and should be hunted down and detained for the manipulation of truth around global warming and held accountable for the reckless obstruction of sidewalks everywhere.

I used to believe it wasn’t real, it was invented. But it will soon be unseasonably warm for a January so I’ve begun to ask myself: Why global warming? Was it all just a scheme by the liberals to generate distrust in our ecosystem? Or was there actually a false flag attack on our basic understanding of the overall workings of nature – aimed ultimately at tricking the general public into putting innocent bank managers and corporations in the path of Communist occupiers? Their hatred for free enterprise knows no bounds, folks. They’ll stop at nothing. They’re already sleeping in a nearby park, despicably lowering property values in the surrounding area, so why wouldn’t they lie to you?

Do the liberals really hate our freedom so much as to make up a global warming scheme to detract our fickle attention from national security? Today it’s cold, but Monday it will be sixty degrees and sunny. Dear God, are we in the end times?

Chronicle editors to endure “hell gauntlet” of terrible writing

Hiring new writers

Payment: glory

Write for usHere at chronicle.su we don’t take credit for our work. It’s just a power thing. When hundreds of thousands of people – or millions – from all over the world believe something simply because you wrote it at chronicle.su, dear God, you’ll never get over it.

If you can write anywhere above an 11th grade level, and I mean a “smart” 11th grade writing level, then we’re offering you a cut of that power, and credit for your work if you desire (but I wouldn’t advise it). For how long? We’re not sure. Something like a month in your own guaranteed spot and potentially longer if you’re good, even indefinitely. Also you’ll receive a free chronicle.su t-shirt, made in a real-life sweatshop as seen on TV.

It does not matter what you write, because if it’s good you’ll know it and so will we. Don’t be afraid of writing tripe, even though we will ridicule it. Tripe is useful here at chronicle.su and you may have a talent you didn’t even know you had; ideally, a talent for shit material that is so weird it’s funny. Write anything.

One thing I want to emphasize is we truly do not give a fuck.

Submit your reports below. Copy and paste it or whatever. Format can suck and that’s okay. If you wish to include pictures, screw that form and email the whole thing to [email protected]

[contact-form-7 id=”7194″ title=”Contact form 1″]

The logical conclusion to the Occupy Movement: The Great Collective

Occupy has proven the power of Social Media. Protests are more visible, sustainable, and effective than ever before. However, the movement is struggling to maintain momentum as it reaches the inherent boundaries of protest.

The Great Collective is the logical conclusion to Occupy, the decentralized masses with no leaders and no agenda, not a political party, a collective.  Effective campaigns can now run with little or no money using crowd-sourcing, viral marketing, and social media.

The decentralized Occupy model is inherent in the structure of Social Media. Occupy’s life is not the flesh that is sitting in the park, facing down Stormtroopers. It’s the people watching, organizing, and supporting via the Internet. This throbbing neural pathway which has burned itself into the great network of social networks is absolutely determined to overthrow all power which has no true legitimacy. Occupy is only the first rumblings of something much, much bigger.

 

Frank Mason dead at 25

Desk of editor frank masonNew York City– It is our sad duty to inform you that longtime reporter and friend to chronicle.su, Frank Mason, has died.

Mason was alone in his apartment Monday when his heart stopped amid one episodic panic attack. Because of his work and general nature, Mason was prone to anxiety attacks as many as four times per week and in some instances, would not sleep for thirty six hours or more at a time.

According to paramedics who arrived at the scene, Mason told friends online that he’d been awake for over forty hours. His messages showed concern, said one EMT, for strange sensations in his chest that later turned out to be heart failure. Officials emphasized that if only Mason “had cared enough about his health,” a phone call might have saved his pointless, insignificant life.

Mason is survived by his dog, Shale, and roommates Mike Henderson and Lewis Manning. Who and where Mason’s family may be are yet to be determined, investigators said.

Writing and editing for the Chronicle, Mason was forced to live a series of compartmentalized secret lives, said fellow editor Dr. Kilgore Trout, who watched the man metamorphose from an eager cub reporter into a fractured shell of a man.

There was something in his voice – something in the way he said, ‘I’ll gut you like a deer carcass!’ that made me believe him.”

Kilgore Trout

“He would sometimes be really friendly online,” Trout said. “But other times, he was crass and difficult to get along with. He once threatened to kill me over an edit I made to one of his stories. And, you know, there was something in his voice – something in the way he said, ‘I’ll gut you like a deer carcass!’ that made me believe him. I changed his punctuation back to a semi-colon but later blocked his calls.”

Trout indicated Mason will be hard to replace, if not impossible, and said he planned to buy a larger room against his cabin in order to fit enough wild chimpanzees and typewriters to replicate the deceased writer’s eclectic personality.

“Probably just gonna stack them up over there,” Trout said, pointing in the direction of a pile of bloated garbage bags across which was slung a coarse red blanket, soiled and rotten. “They can lay on that while they type.”

Fans of Mason are as elusive as the writer himself. The online guestbook for Mason’s funeral was still untouched Monday evening, and is slated for deletion if it is not at least spammed between Monday and Wednesday morning, said a spokesman for St. Luther’s Funeral Services. Sources within the hacking collective Anonymous fear everything they touch and refuse to leave a digital fingerprint anywhere, even the guestbook of their unelected but rightful Messiah, Frank Mason, the infallible, unforgotten voice of chronicle.su.

See you in Hell, Frank.

-The Chronicle Staff

Trollspam

The troll leaned forward in his seat, bathed in the flashing light from the flat screen, which dwarfed the windows of his filthy basement apartment. “Get out of my face you fucking piece of nigger faggot shit!” The audio echoed back, a dull screeching heavily clipped and garbled from compression. The troll bristled. “You stupid assholes too poor to afford a god damn microphone?!” Talking shit was the troll’s real game, and getting under someone’s skin was the only way to score points.

The troll used to have a better screen name, [KKK]HateRaper69, but the moderators changed it permanently to Trollspam. Everywhere Trollspam went, the moderators were spammed down with complaints.

“Fuck you niggers! Fuck you all! I hope you all die and you all suck DICK at this stupid child’s game! Get a fuckin’ job!” Trollspam’s electronic vitriol streamed onto the emotionally disconnected masses.

A voice cried back above the din of the endless cyberbattle, where photorealistic soldiers died thousands of repeated deaths over the same small acre of land.

“Trollspam, you’re not allowed to do that, I’m reporting you.”

Trollspam’s eyes flashed, and his face flushed. Trollspam had a natural talent for finding the most fundamental weakness in anyone’s psyche with very scant information.

“You ugly little fat fuck, no one gives a fuck about you! No one will ever love you! What the fuck are you doing alive? Kill yourself!”

Trollspam’s target logged out, and trollspam grinned. A stupid fat little kid was rifling through his parent’s medicine cabinet and eating every pill he could find. He had shown the child the truth, imposed his boundless hatred, and the child would soon die. “All for the better,” thought Trollspam, “only n00bs kill themselves.”

RI State Representative Daniel Gordon “Joins Anonymous”

This is the tweet which made Representative Dan Gordon the darling politician of Anons everywhere. Anonymous didn’t bother to google this man and now he’s in their midst, festering like a hateful little sore on tinychat. There are a few facts to consider before endorsing Dan Gordon.

  1. Dan Gordon is probably a homophobe.
  2. Dan Gordon is known for abusive cyberbullying of political opponents.
  3. Dan Gordon has an extensive, violent criminal record.
  4. Dan Gordon was demoted twice while serving in the Marines and he lied about serving in Iraq.

Representative Gordon blamed his criminal record on post traumatic stress from his service in Iraq, and used Twitter to put the hate on people who called him out. When asked to prove he served in Iraq, Gordon said that the documents were destroyed when his house burnt down. (Maybe HE set the fire!)

On second thought, Representative Gordon might be exactly the politician Anonymous needs to ally with.

 

Suspicious death of Anonymous target Deanna Despain raises questions about Barrett Brown

“The best way to proceed with a controversial plan is to implement it first and then slowly prepare others to accept it.” ~ Barrett Brown

City Clerk Deanna Despain was recently doxed by Anonymous and subsequently found dead under suspicious circumstances. Barrett Brown has refused to comment on this matter.

Barrett Brown is perhaps the most well-known heroin addict in the world, representing hackers from the Anonymous collective. Like others in the media, Brown has little or no idea what Anonymous actually is. To him, it’s just a springboard for his own personal agenda, which includes taking baths on TinyChat and purchasing his own Texas compound like his hero David Koresh.

Barrett Brown was named this year's most despicable person by the despicable people at Gawker.
After the recent Stratfor hack, Brown scrambled to defend the theft of credit card information, arguing that “the hacking team that obtained this information did not break down the doors of the target, point guns at children, and shoot down any dogs that might have been present.” If this group of hackers had the capability to do these things, and it served their agenda, it’d be bizarre to imagine they’d back down because of their upstanding moral character. Another document from an Anonymous representative denied the attack altogether, receiving more support from Anonymous than Brown’s statement.

“Sometimes I feel left out because I don’t really know much about computers and everyone I interact with talks crazy future gibberish.” ~ Barrett Brown, spokesperson for Anonymous

Barrett Brown has a history of making unverified statements to stay in the public eye. Brown tweeted, “Those in Asheville, NC should watch movements of District Attorney Ron Moore at this time,” implying that information about Moore’s criminal activity would soon surface. It did not. Brown also famously claimed that a member of Anonymous was abducted by the Zetas, but this was not true. Brown’s home address was then published by Anonymous, and he appealed to Occupy DC for funding so he could escape certain death at the hands of the Zetas to the safety of New York. After a few short weeks, Brown returned home, now entirely safe. Brown’s most laughable red herring to date has to be the “Barium issue,” which he has used only when the news cycle has become completely dry.

 

Sasha Grey: Racist

Caution: Sasha Grey's porn is only for people who enjoy overacting

Sasha Grey, famous ex-porn star, has come under fire for racist comments made during her adult film career. In this extremely explicit interracial sex scene, Sasha Grey uses the word “nigger” repeatedly, offending many viewers in both the black and white community.

“Ms. Grey’s language turned what should have been a racially harmonious scene of hardcore love into fetishized racism,” commented Al Sharpton. “It’s things like this, as Jeffery Dahmer said, that create violence in today’s society.”

The porn star recently read to students of Emerson Elementary School, setting a terrible example for our children. What if they look up her porn one day, and imitate her racial slurs? We need to think about the children.

“Yeah, I love fucking that Nigger Cock” ~ Sasha Grey

Sasha Grey has made no public apology to the black community for her slurs, as was expected from Duane “The Dog” Chapman and Michael Richards. Her callous statements have left fans flaccid and betrayed.

Sasha Grey is a supporter of Occupy Wall Street and PETA, and these shocking statements have caused these groups to distance themselves from the porn star. “Ms. Grey will not be allowed at our encampment until she apologizes for her statements,” said Occupy Oakland coordinator Brent McGovern, chairman of the people’s microphone General Assembly.

Sasha Grey may be going back to porn if she cannot bring herself to apologize for her outlandish, racist statements.

Jews did 911? Yes, according to one terrorist

Jews did 911The sensational news article, found on this eyesore of a website, about halfway down said Aafia Siddiqui suggested that “maybe Israel had something to do with it.” It, meaning the World Trade Center attacks on September 11, 2001.

Aafia Siddiqui is a Pakistani neuroscientist who studied at MIT. Later she allegedly decided she might like to engage in sexy terrorism. The article says it all, in just a few words, including words like “She then fired the rifle at various individuals.”

4chan raised the question once, causing it later to be dismissed as the lulz. But Aafia Siddiqui raised it back: Did Jews cause 9/11?

Do not be taken in so quickly. If the Jews did 9/11 then why are we slaughtering brown people? Is it to keep down heating costs like the liberal media would have us believe? Exactly.

I don’t think there’ll ever be a time in my life when I don’t fear the unending wrath of Muslim rage possibly winding up in my children’s schools. No sir, my children will learn that the Jew is our friend. Yea, we’d all be speaking German right now if the Jews hadn’t dragged us into World War II and that Indians shared maize with the pilgrims, who later corrected their population for using the wrong word to identify corn.