AMERICA CAN’T LOOK AWAY! Trainwreck Sensation Little Honey Boo Boo Empowers Market With Fearless March Toward Diabetes

Move over, “Toddlers & Tiaras!” Because there’s a new girl in town. . .

Fresh from the impaired minds of The Learning Channel executives who brought you “What Not to Wear,” “Randy to the Rescue,” and “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant,” comes little Honey Boo Boo.

Tune in this fall as fat Michelin-man shaped rednecks flop into a mud hole repeating Larry the Cable Guy memes, until you think you just can’t take it anymore. Then, wait for Honey Boo Boo to win back your heart with cute emotional avoidances, like, “You better redneckocgnize!”

“Redneckognize” is a play on words which combines all the ignorance brought to mind by the euphemistic racial slur “redneck,” with the word “recognize,” or to consider again; literally, to identify something or someone previously seen, such as the degradation of educational cable TV stations.

And if you learn anything from this corporate-induced delusional exploit, you’ll learn Little Honey Boo Boo is hardly the meanest one, or the baddest of the bunch. Indeed, much of her family is being paid and encouraged to reinforce every stereotype television helped create. WATCH IT EVERY NIGHT FOR ALL I CARE!

Watch for producers to inject new cutesy catch phrases, such as “Where’s mah insulin?”

6 comments to AMERICA CAN’T LOOK AWAY! Trainwreck Sensation Little Honey Boo Boo Empowers Market With Fearless March Toward Diabetes

  • jak mkjak

    holy fuck this is the most disgusting shit I have seen besides going to Walmart.
    bout the same fat losers there.

  • lilah

    Who is watching these shows and sending out the message to networks that Americans want to be represented as fat, redneck, moronic, disgusting,inbred, ridiculous, embarrassing pigs? What is going on? Where is the shame? These are the types of people we should be hiding and actively working on to get rid of this inferior gene pool.

    I am so tired of this kind of garbage. And everyone acts like they are horrified but they KEEP watching it, so that the network and these losers make money. When you watch these shows, you are paying for these slobs to live.

    And no, I have not watched it. I don’t need to to have the intelligence to realize that it is disgusting garbage.

    TLC used to be a reputable network with interesting and educational shows. Now it is nothing but a joke.

    • SHE’S THE TODDLER THAT TOOK THE TV WORLD BY STORM

      “A DOLLAR MAKES ME HOLLAR, HONEY BOO BOO!”

      If you thought SHE was crazy – (fart noise) “I dun it, I made one!” – wait till you meet the rest of her family!

      “Hold on, I’m scratchin’ for bugs…”

      “We’re not rednecks–”

      Father (presumably): “YES WE ARE.”

      “–We all have our teeth, don’t we?”

      [Yelling] “GO BOBBY!”

      “Me and my family’s proud–”

      Little Honey Boo Boo: “You better redneckognize!”

      Mother (rolling eyes): “Pssh.”

      Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

      The new series premieres Wednesday August 8th.

      Little Honey Boo Boo: “Only on TLC!”

  • ceanf

    but seriously guys. this is AWESOME

  • PenisBreath

    I bet they will be fucking each others mudholes.

  • ResearchWench

    #Parallelthoughts I JUST WATCH THAT WHITETRASH SENSATION
    LITTLE HONEY BOO BOO ON ONE OF THE EPISODE OF ‘TODDLERS & TIARA$’ 2 DAYS AGO AND I THOUGHT THAT IS TRAINWRECK OF CHILDHOOD OBSESITY LEADING EARLY ON SET ADULT DIABETES

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