Neil DeGrasse Tyson, the Token Public Intellectual Rage Comic Character

Let’s face the facts if we’re going to be a bunch of rational Scientist Atheist fanboys, okay? Neil DeGrasse Tyson is no Carl Sagan or Slavoj Žižek.  I’m a cultural critic now, because I watch a lot of Slavoj Žižek, so I’m going to “deconstruct” the hell out of this situation for ya.

I know this is stinking disgusting, hell, it’s racist of me to say this, but it has to be said. White Guilt is the biggest reason Neil Degrasse Tyson has become an internet celebrity rage comic source for Athiest hardons.

Hell, White Guilt is the biggest reason Obama got elected. You won’t see me over with the “Birthers” tellin’ you Neil Tyson’s some kind of a Manchurian candidate raised to this holy pulpit of Scientific-Atheist-Hero-Myth-Religion by the Muslim-Satan-BLUEBEAM-AncientAlien-Agenda, but I will tell ya this. He’s not famous for being smart. Okay, well, he is famous for being relatively “smart,” but we can’t even begin to put him in the same room as Sagan, Žižek, or even that Anarchist Bastard Occupy Cultist Chomsky.

Carl Sagan’s central role and massive contribution to “Space Science” cannot be overlooked.

Sagan was Dir. of the Laboratory for Planetary Studies and David Duncan Prof. of Astronomy and Space Sciences at Cornell University. He played a leading role in the Mariner, Viking and Voyager expeditions to the planets and was a recipient of the Pulitzer Prize for literature. He died in 1996.

Slavoj Žižek stands on equally “hollowed” ground, and is even compared to Jacques Derrida on “WikiPedia!”

He has made contributions to political theory, film theory and theoretical psychoanalysis. “One of the world’s best known public intellectuals” according to John Gray[2], it has been said that “Žižek is to today what Jacques Derrida was to the 80s: the thinker of choice for Europe’s young intellectual vanguard”.

So what contributions, what great scientific advancements, what major accomplishment is Neil DeGrasse Tyson known for most?

As director of the Hayden Planetarium, Tyson bucked traditional thinking in order to keep Pluto from being referred to as the ninth planet in exhibits at the center…this decision has resulted in large amounts of hate mail, much of it from children.

Every time the following glyph is posted to the Internet, Black Tinkerbell loses her wings. But that’s right! Faeries are rarely Black except in fanart. Oh there I go mentioning the race thing again. Wouldn’t it be better if no one ever talked about the undercurrent of racism so it would just disappear from your sweet insulated whitebread suburban internet life?

This is actually the best reason to hate Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Look at how his skin is white here, even though his clearly African features have actually been emphasized by the graphic artist. Freddie Mercury’s rageface is blacker than this (because he’s gay).

Yes, you are dealing with a badass over here. Why doesn’t the Internet understand Tyson is “apart” of the bottom-tier of Public Intellectuals?! He says a few things about Atheists, and all the Atheists who have never even CONSIDERED serious theology or philosophy turn him into some substitute holy man. All hail Neil DeGrasse Tyson, the guy who took Pluto out of our Planetariums!!!1 Bitch, we want MORE planets, not less! Can’t you understand this!? I’d LOVE to have 1,000 planets. WTF is an exoplanet? As if Pluto’s somehow not a part of our god damn Sun’s Timespace Gravitywell. Sheesh! Get outta my Rage Comics, I hate ‘em enough already!

No comments yet to Neil DeGrasse Tyson, the Token Public Intellectual Rage Comic Character

  • Bob the Chef

    NDT is certainly worthless. And you’re right: the leftist middle class loved the black guy in an insulting way. Hell, if someone put a black guy on TV that would add 3-digit numbers together, you would see middle class support rise instantly (which in effect means middle class white leftists are in fact cryptoracists because they reward blacks for mediocre accomplishments, suggesting some arrogant paternalism that says “they’re not capable of as much as us”, though Watson might actually respond “true, they’re just not as smart, those blacks”).

    Anyway, Sagan is likewise overrated in certain ways. The only reason white people like him is because most white people want to feel educated (and intelligent) but too lazy to put the work in to actually understand things and bothering with virtues like humility. They want to piss away their lives going to shitty parties where they can drop names and use “hegemony” in a sentence. Sagan does that for them. When a white person reads a book by Sagan they think they’re automatically astronomers by association (“yesss, I’m part of the club now”). Any popularizer of science that can make you feel like an expert without being an expert will become a demigod for fanboys everywhere. NDT kind of falls in this category as well.

    Zizek is, plainly, an postmodern charlatan. Derrida is nothing to compare anyone to unless you’re trying to show someone’s mediocrity. Have you read Derrida? I can assure you that you never did, or, if you did, that you didn’t understand him. You may think you understood him, just like you may think a fortune teller is telling you what you decide to vaguely read into her words, but surely, you couldn’t have because Derrida is intrinsically incomprehensible. Comparing Zizek to Derrida merely affirms the former’s mediocrity. Again, Zizek is another one of those “public intellectuals” that gauche caviar love because he gives them a platform and the tools to go through the motions of what they imagine being an intellectual entails (i.e., really corny snobbery and bullshit). The bullshit you find in a book by Zizek is like the a free association game played by a guy on drugs. The WMC eats it up because free association allows you to connect any two things merely through free association (George Bush -> hair -> musical -> flute -> phallus, or cheese -> wine -> corkscrew -> oblong -> phallus). This eye-rolling random connection of things allows whitey to feel like he’s being intellectual and discovering something…when he’s not.

    So, all in all, while NDT is about as intellectual as my 5th grade teacher who ridiculed a student for pronouncing Tutankhamen the way it should be and then instructed the class to pronounce it “Tuh-tank-ah-min”), Sagan and Zizek aren’t exactly the creme de la creme of intellectuals. Sagan may have done something, but he was pretty busy parading himself around most of the time. Zizek needs to more explaining. NDT is a planetarium director which means he runs an exhibit at what amounts to a science-themed amusement park. Yeah.

  • monstrous ethicist

    This post was as meaningless as an essay by Slavoj Žižek.

  • just truth

    Neil DeGrasse Tyson = Over Rated.

  • So, because NDT is sub-Sagan, apparently ‘White Guilt’ is the casue of his notoriety, rather than his obvious eloquence and intellect. You never actually explained why it was white guilt and your equivocation between him and Obama being elected didn’t seem to fit well to me.

  • SHITHAPPENS

    John doesn’t write that well…troll harder!

  • beefrave

    hey guys anyone got neal degrasse tyson anus closeups i need to jerk it

  • John Thiessen

    I couldn’t disagree more strongly. Carl Sagan was, without question, an amazing mind with astounding accolades. That’s fine.
    He was also an amazing science communicator and that in that capacity he left his mark on a group of people that know him only for that. When he passed, this subset of people for knew him for all the wrong reasons according to you noticed his absence.
    If your expectation is that NDT isn’t good enough for that role, too fucking bad. He has made his mark on his merits alone and his ability to communicate his ideas and his ability to inspire and those people who only know him for that will miss him. It doesn’t matter if there are scientists with better accolades, they clearly have not left the same mark.
    If it’s a coincidence… so be it. Tough shit, lots of great minds go unnoticed. If you don’t like it, work to raise their stature or understand why they go unnoticed. But, I just don’t think you even came close to making your case that NDT doesn’t deserve it. You didn’t address what he has achieved at all.

  • white ranger

    tysom jus ta punkass house-nigga for white jewish manhattenites.

    • Kilgoar

      i left this out but i should have taken him out for coining the phrase manhattenhenge to describe manhattan at sundown and sunrise.

  • xenu, the neuromancer

    agreed on all counts

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