New market for cancerous flesh drives rise in tumor prices

A new tumor eating fad has swept through Southeast Asia, attracting many adventurous tourists to "Cancer Delis"

A new tumor eating fad has swept through Southeast Asia, attracting many adventurous tourists to “Cancer Delis”

BANGOLA — “Cancer Delis” are making waves across Southeast Asia, as jet-set tourists seek increasingly bizarre and rare foods. Many different types of tumors are served at these delis with malignant pig brain tumors fetching some of the highest prices. Critics believe eating tumors can be dangerous because farmers now have an incentive to induce tumors in livestock using carcinogens which may wind up in the bodies of Cancer Deli patrons. Andrew Zimmerman, host of television’s Bizarre Food, said, “Naturally occurring tumor flesh is some of the most delectable and safe food there is, but you’ve really got to watch out for farmers who have found out how valuable it is and feed carcinogens to their livestock.”

A Cancer Deli owner in Bangola who wished to remain Anonymous told Internet Chronicle reporters, “Some people value burled wood the most because it is so rare and has many unique and appealing characteristics. It is cancerous parts of a tree, just like the tumors we serve. The flesh is fatty and delicious, and when prepared correctly it is not dangerous.” When pressed for details of how he obtained the cancerous flesh, the deli owner broke off the interview.

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