INTERNET — Friday, the hacker and trolling ensemble, “Rustle League,” widely known for shutting off the lights at the super bowl last year, took credit for downing the NSA.gov website using a piece of Windows 98 software known as “RustleNuker2.” The cheeky hacker group is defined in opposition to “moralfags” in Anonymous and campaigns against Anonymous with both elite doxings, or identification of so-called “Anons,” as well as advanced pranks.
An NSA spokesperson, Angstrom H. Troubador, pounded on his podium at an impromptu emergency press release. “We will hunt down every last member of Anonymous who did this to us and string them up by their toes with our labyrinthine legal process. We killed Anonymous once, and we’ll kill it again.” When asked if he was going trick or treating, Troubador raged, “Arrest that journalist! Arrest him, he’s from Anonymous! We know about the memes!” The reporter was detained, and the sweaty, red-faced NSA spokesperson declared, “The war on Anonymous and the war on terror are one and the same.”