Pope Calls for Pan-Ecumenical Religious Social Media Event

Pope Francis with his coat of arms and brass ring of power.

Pope Francis with his coat of arms and brass ring of power.

INTERNET — Pope Francis went over the heads of the Cardinals by issuing an Encyclical which will assemble a worldwide Ecumenical council including the highest leaders from every faith.

In his statement, Pope Francis said, “God has chosen Buenos Aires as the grounds for the merging of all faiths. The biblical convention welcomes all in the writing of our global seminal holy text. Will it be a concise set of poetic aphorisms, lengthy genealogy, didactic farming advice, or an epic war poem? No! It will be a major media event Tweeted and E-Mailed to every person on earth as five different Reality shows featuring the hottest monks and nuns in humiliating sexual situations compete to invent the world’s next religion. Everyone will be converted if we just blow the Vatican’s treasury on Persona Management propaganda from our friends at HBGary, and the world will have ten million years of peace.”

Atheist speaker Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador condemned this speech, slamming his fists on the podium, “Ain’t that Pope ever read the bible? What he’s intendin on doin’ is building him a big ol’ Tower of Babel, I tell you what. That’s a religion designed to come a tumblin’ down, but he’s mad with power. Them Marxists slipped one through to United States president and now they done it in Rome, by gum.”

9 comments to Pope Calls for Pan-Ecumenical Religious Social Media Event

  • Sp00k

    Dear fishfag,
    lol’ d at how u RTed and I quoted,
    “Listening. Learning. Still part of the problem. Sometimes my head is so far up my ass it’s hard to see.”
    You’re one the smart ppl I know, and can admit that he’s an asshole.
    Lubs,
    Me
    Ps- And L0V3 is just as necessary as hate, I’ve found, after searching my deepest fears. Everything in moderation, like writing and one of you fgtz should try it at least once every few days. Still be lurking over my morning tea, but no moar socks, and also cocks. It was time to leave, for now, & never say never, but for now it’s c u around. Tell Frank to go fuck himself and send a wedding invite when marries his childbride. Oh ya, btw I get the typewriter if he ever drops dead ;)

    Pss- Dead hookers and feminist smell after 3 days :D

  • Sp00k

    *of teh
    You know it’s always me b/c dyslexia
    ***waves 2 macfagz

    • andy kaufman

      *one of the smartest. And Ive been gone for a long time already (just old habits ‘die hard’, had to get that Xmas pun in, so I still be lurkin BTR & spreaker radio), and other then the odd time trollin y’alls articles and comments here, l’ll never be back ‘you know where.’ We all move on, some of grow (internet breeding ground for the fat & stupid) and some of regress (turn the computer off and loose a ton of weight).
      No moar RL radio, I haz a sad :(

  • andy kaufman

    Pss- FTR smartest doesn’t mean the wisest, but you assholes knew what I meant.
    Elvis haz left building … for now … luv (natural) peanut butter, but I hate bacon!!!!

  • Val

    That’s how easy you can use the internet nowadays, an easy way to do
    whatever and aany time you want. This control panel lets you manage what is oon and what is off for these power hungry items.
    If this person is performing something illegal, the FBI is going
    to bee knocking on your door not theirs because the illegal activity came from your specific internet connection.
    The software claims it can find the moocher accurately within two meters.
    Avoid using unsecured email software, like Outlook, which automatically
    transmts login information.

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