INTERNET — Justin Bieber was hospitalized Thursday after taking what his friends described as an “astounding dose of wax,” the ultimate purified form of marijuana. Bieber was declared brain dead on arrival and Dr. Troubador of Los Santos Hospital told reporters, “There is almost no chance Bieber will come out of the coma, but we’re still hopeful. We are asking fans not to assemble outside of the hospital as this may impede emergency vehicles.”
Photos of Bieber’s out of control marijuana habits were published earlier this year on famed celebrity news site TMZ. Police seized Bieber’s Escalade Wednesday, finding a massive stash of the potent wax.
Dr. Troubador told the press, “For a long time people have considered cannabis a ‘gateway drug’, dangerous only for its ability to make young people crave a harder buzz, like that of heroin or crack. But we’re going to have to reassess this point of view now that wax manufacturers are stepping up production of this very dangerous and even potentially fatal drug. Every day we have hundreds of wax addicts wheeled into the emergency room, totally brain dead. Marijuana is not a gateway drug anymore. Wax is the most dangerous drug on the streets. Bieber is just another young life stolen by the insidious weed byproduct.”