INTERNET — As Russian forces storm into Ukraine, strained voices in both the Kremlin and the Pentagon are clamoring for a quick and easy nuclear solution.
Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, expert in ecological geopolitics, told reporters, “They’ve got their fingers on the nuclear trigger, and it’s only a matter of time. If you thought today’s climate change was bad, just wait until you see the cataclysmic nuclear winter that will instantly reverse global warming and freeze the oceans solid. This is it for the world. Radiation, minds decay.”
Dr. Troubador grew agitated when berated by reporters, shouting, “You will see Iran, North Korea, and China invade Australia, India, and perhaps parts of Africa. What parts of the world aren’t nuked into oblivion will be bloody battlefields where automated drones will gun down anything that moves.”