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World on brink of nuclear war

This is it. This is finally the end. It's over.
This is it. This is finally the end. It’s over.

INTERNET —  As Russian forces storm into Ukraine, strained voices in both the Kremlin and the Pentagon are clamoring for a quick and easy nuclear solution.

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, expert in ecological geopolitics, told reporters, “They’ve got their fingers on the nuclear trigger, and it’s only a matter of time. If you thought today’s climate change was bad, just wait until you see the cataclysmic nuclear winter that will instantly reverse global warming and freeze the oceans solid. This is it for the world. Radiation, minds decay.”

Dr. Troubador grew agitated when berated by reporters, shouting, “You will see Iran, North Korea, and China invade Australia, India, and perhaps parts of Africa. What parts of the world aren’t nuked into oblivion will be bloody battlefields where automated drones will gun down anything that moves.”

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Snowden's Telepresent High Horse

Snowden, at a TED talk, inside of a telepresence robot.
Snowden, at a TED talk, inside of a telepresence robot.

INTERNET — Edward Snowden’s huge cache of NSA documents seems to be doing a lot to publicize the NSA’s incredible cyberwar capabilities, spread fear and distress among would-be revolutionaries, and cast a light of truth so bright on the government that it risks eclipsing the trespasses and evils of rapidly developing internet monopolies who make the vast majority of their profits by the kind of everyday spying mischaracterized as the business of the NSA.

Thanks to Snowden, we know there must be victims of “parallel investigations.” They have been illegally imprisoned after “legal” NSA surveillance sparked their prosecution, but because it was so “legal,” this evidence was hidden from courts with the nationwide cooperation of local police. No thanks to Snowden, victims of these illegal prosecutions have no access to the necessary documents through which they could right this injustice.

If it were only a matter of an ideological or tactical stance where Snowden believed time and energy were better spent attacking the institutions rather than defending the individuals, that would be understandable. But there are other, possibly connected and troubling things to consider.

Snowden made his first and most important alliance with Glenn Greenwald, a columnist who once used Snowden’s leaks to make a soft claim that news forums on reddit with rules against opinion columns blocked his opinion as part of JTRIG forum moderator infiltration. Greenwald’s tactics failed and the reddit moderators correctly chose not to cave to Greenwald and the army of menacing trolls he is infamous for inspiring.

Greenwald was quickly co-opted, or bought out, by eBay billionaire Pierre Omidyar. The for-profit advocacy publication, The Intercept, also hired Jeremy Scahill. Scahill spoke of Omidyar’s influence as ever-present, characterizing the billionaire as the loudest voice in the room. Greenwald, however, rejected the idea that his reporting could in any way be affected by his new, shiny office that totally isn’t on the eBay campus.

Edward Snowden spoke at SXSW and even used a mobile telepresence robot to participate in a TED talk. He is a pop culture icon, savior of the day. Up there on his telepresent high horse, maybe Snowden has forgotten the task of justice. There is no doubt that he has done his fair share of proselytizing for the case of freedom, but will the NSA’s victims ever be given the documents they need to receive their freedom? And if not, how much longer can an audience put up with this kind of a ‘freedom’ circus? Shark jumping can only take freedom so far.

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Fred Phelps dead, confession suppressed by Westboro Baptist

Fred Phelps' shocking death bed confessional and secret sermon of love that got him kicked out of the "church of hate"
Fred Phelps’ shocking death bed confessional and secret sermon of love that got him kicked out of the “church of hate”

INTERNET — Fred Phelps was reported dead, Thursday morning, after family members excommunicated the founder from the very church he created. This comes on the heels of a secret and shocking sermon in which Phelps unveiled the church’s secret purpose.

Pastor Phelps told his church in his last sermon, “Westboro’s mission has always been to make Christianity look bad. I have not been a man of faith, but a man of deception and lies. I am a militant atheist and you, my flock, have long been a gaggle of useful idiots. God does not exist, except in the minds of idiots, and this church has existed only as an ongoing prank that got out of hand. My doctor said I have almost no time left to live, but I hope you turn away from these hateful ways which were designed to turn the public against a fake God and lead them towards the light of scientific and humanist love for all people, including fags.”

A church council decided Pastor Fred Phelps had “gone senile” and excommunicated him from the church, banning all communication between church members and its founder. However, other excommunicated family members rushed to the pastor’s death bed. Nate Phelps, who left the church 37 years ago, said, “Our dad, for the first time ever, was completely lucid and sane. He’d given up the act and it was like a demon had left him. He was smiling when he died, and at peace with himself and with everyone on earth. I can understand if no one forgives him, but I have forgiven him.”