FERGUSON –Thousands of internet users were drawn into a body armor fundraising drive for protesters in Ferguson, in what has been exposed as a covert astroturf campaign that may be directed by body armor salespeople. Alex Jones, who has recently doubled down on ads for body armor, claims that Ferguson is a “staged race war” that has been controlled by Black Panthers and Islamic Nationalist terrorist groups acting as patsies for globalists in yet more fake theatrics to increase the rate of the omnipresent clampdown on Liberty. Anonymous hackers promised to donate stolen bitcoins to the cause, pouring millions into the purchase of full body armor suits. It can be said as a fact that the plans for a full-on race war are finally going through and the plastic FEMA coffins are going to start filling up, and soon.
Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, weapons expert, laughed at the suggestion of body armor for protesters in Ferguson, saying, “Militarized police would be using high powered assault rifles at close range, making body armor little more than a preposterously unsubtle provocation. If the protesters want cost effective self defense they should follow the lead of other militarized civilians across the world and refuse to identify themselves as a possible combatant. IEDs and AK-47s are low cost, covert solutions for self defense against any modern armored infantry unit such as the Ferguson police department.”