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Charlie Hebdo shooting sparks World Cyberwar

Charlie Hebdo provoked a cascade of events that has brought the Internet nearly shuttering to a stop
Charlie Hebdo provoked a cascade of events that has brought the Internet nearly shuttering to a stop

INTERNET — International fiber optic connections between continents are seemingly failing in a cascade. At least twenty of the most important transcontinental lines have gone down. The FBI issued a statement, saying, “The CyberJihad has begun, and it appears the terrorists are using both digital as well as more physical tactics.”

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, expert in Cyberwar at the Thatherton Cyber Institute told reporters,”Rather than the cliche’d millenial fear of a hacker attack that crashes the electrical grid, this terror attack has hit a more vital and overlooked system, a global system which enables free communication between citizens of different nations.”

China and North Korea have capitalized on the chaos, deploying their massive and highly trained Cyberarmies to disable all western Name Servers, effectively ruining hundreds of millions of smartphones and tablets in Europe and North America.

All Western media outlets are fighting off heavy DDoS attacks and readers have reported strange disappearing sentences mentioning the protocols of the elders of Zion inserted into stories about Charlie Hebdo. President Obama, Vice President Biden, and Newt Gingrich were “doxed,” their personal phone numbers posted on President Obama’s Twitter account.

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