STOCKHOLM – After months of rigorous study, discussion and thought experiments, researchers from Lebal Drocer Laboratories, a news analysis think tank, concluded in a white paper released Wednesday that “all news is fake news” under a revised definition of the term ‘fake news.’
Fake news is information that is not news, the conclusion states, because no one wants to hear it and it doesn’t bring clicks.
“The words fake and real are falling quickly out of fashion,” said leading news expert Angstrom H. Troubadour, a pioneer in the fake news field of study. “But I’ll tell you this right now, and it’s the truth: There ain’t no such as thing as real news. That real news is a lie. It’s garbage. It’s trash. It’s fake.”
Troubadour gently explained that readerships suffer from fake news, especially that found in print-online publications, where critical facts and narrative-altering details are ignored by TV entertainment news because they simply aren’t true, and have therefore failed to earn their place on the global stage among real news networks such as CNN, FOX News, MSNBC and The Drudge Report.
Because Journalism is the first draft of history.
And history is written by the victors!
USA! USA! USA! CNN! USA! USE! MEXICO! HELP ME OUT! OF MY LOW! SELF ESTEEM! USA! USA! NSA!
I said, damn, that’s good cocaine.
“Now, I don’t need to tell you where to go for the real news,” Doc Trouble said. “I suppose since you’re listening to me, you’re already hearing it. You’re hearing the real news right now – better not be reading it.”
Jake Davis, whose name appears on the Lebal Drocer Labs paper, said fake news can come from anywhere, leading to real confusion.
“There’s fake news on fake sites, there’s real fake news on fake real sites, then there’s fake fake news on real fake sites,” Jake said. “If you can’t tell the difference between real fake news and fake fake news, you might be a victim of the real fake algorithms.”
After Facebook made it acceptable to label unwanted information, a cabal of fake news writers are determined to erode the little bit of integrity left in the journalism field. Even The Internet Chronicle has come under fire from hate groups that seek to tarnish your reality with differing versions of their own. Which reality will win?
Stay tuned to find out the answer to all this and more. Take your TerrorMax, and always be on the lookout for more real fake news from your favorite fake real news site, The Internet Chronicle!
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