Lebal Drocer, attorney at law says: Just use a ‘burner’ phone, bro

Noam Chomsky said “society is to be dismantled and replaced with nothing by sundown” in a recently typed order to his black bloc legion. Lebal Drocer attorneys have blacked out all windows and severed communications from the outside. Through a one-way radio, Raleigh T. Hatesec barks orders to a pig army, starving for his attention. …

Lebal Drocer CEOs asked: “Why aren’t there more broads in the workplace?”

Hi, I’m Dr. Angstrom Hire Troubledames and I am chief of human resources at the legendary chemical warfare contractor and Internet Chronicle publisher Lebal Drocer, Inc. At Lebal Drocer we specialize in putting tear gas and mustard gas into the wrong hands at the right time. Watch out Assad! The chemical monster’s comin’ to gitcha! …

Lebal Drocer board calls diversity proposal ‘unduly burdensome and kind of gay sounding’

The company, like other big tech firms, has been criticized for being mostly male and predominantly white. Last year, Lebal Drocer CEO Raleigh Theodore Sakers praised a diverse workplace. He said diversity is “whatever, pretty good I guess,” adding that having colored folk around, and women, could improve the company’s image. But Lebal Drocer’s board …

Dank new product from Lebal Drocer, Inc: lead-free water bottled at shrinking edge of Antarctic glaciers

Wage Jihad on Your Thirst with #ICES Brand Melted Glacier Water   New lead-free, barrel-aged Antarctic glacier water from Lebal Drocer lets you drink CONTINENTS! Lebal Drocer is proud to announce a neoliberal partnership with HAARP, Nestle and corruptresourceful Michigan governor Rick Snyder. The shadowy global weather experimentation agency works with Lebal Drocer to create …

Lebal Drocer ‘Pain-Spray’ Offers Cheap, Easy Solution to Complex Emotional Trauma

Grieving? Destitute? Has the cruel pointlessness of life got you down? Teachers, preachers and therapists might offer tedious solutions with no guaranteed success. Don’t just sit there and “pray” the pain away. Now you can Spray the pain away — with SprayPain! New from Lebal Drocer Laboratories, SprayPain™ takes the hassle out of overcoming emotional …

Lebal Drocer one step closer to securing ‘Kevorkian’ treatment programs

Has the daily grind got you contemplating suicide? At Lebal Drocer Laboratories is leading the way in assisted suicide thanks to groundbreaking new research by Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour and his magnificent staff of scientists, scholars and lobbyists. Using state-of-the-art techniques, Troubadour and his team were able to isolate literally thousands of variables that could …

Lebal Drocer will face ‘serious PR consequences’ for human rights abuses, continuous poisoning of rivers

The American magazine Foreign Policy disclosed shortly ago that a Lebal Drocer soldier who mercilessly killed 16 innocent civilians in Roanoke, Virginia – including women and children – was prone to abusing the reality-altering designer drug TerrorBloc. TerrorBloc, or ‘TB’, is a cheap TerrorMax alternative synthesized by a dangerous offshoot of Lebal Drocer Pharmaceuticals, whose …

Lebal Drocer announces plan to publish My Little Pony fanfiction. The eBook, Serfdom in Equestria, challenges the liberal agenda behind MLP.

CUTHBERT, Georgia – Lebal Drocer, Inc. spokesman Raleigh T. Sakers, who once said he has grown weary of “Obama’s Left,” plans to tackle the liberal agenda he says is hidden in children’s programming. “It’s an ideology that is undermining not only the United States, but is dragging down the entire My Little Pony universe as well,” …

Lebal Drocer Denies Wrongdoing in Latest Scandal

SLAVEYARD — Lebal Drocer, indicted for what one Judge called, “laying down with the dogs and getting the fleas,” fired back at Europol after they seized Lebal Drocer Publishing’s heavily-guarded mainframe installation in Belgium, or possibly Germany. Lebal Drocer’s Chief Marketing Officer Barry B. Poundheaven told reporters, “This was an unadorned form of harassment directed …