Trump presents Putin with symbolic “reset button” to restore friendly relations between US and Russia

Trump offered a symbolic ‘reset’ with Putin as a sign of friendship.

INTERNET — Donald Trump presented Vladimir Putin with a symbolic “reset button” as a gesture of restoration of friendly relations with Russia. After pressing the button at Trump’s tropical Mar-A-Lago resort, the pair grabbed rifles and rode off into Florida’s interior on a fan boat. Returning twelve hours later with twelve alligator corpses, Trump said, “Part of our deal is that Putin’s got to try out my golf course next time.”

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made a nearly identical gesture in 2009, which was later proclaimed a horrible failure that only enabled the Russian invasion of Ukraine and the proliferation of advanced Russian weaponry in the middle east.

Donald Trump’s “reset button,” however, is seen as an entirely different gesture since it’s become clear that Russia’s recalcitrant foreign policies will only be encouraged in this manner. Geopolitical relationship counselor Dr. Angstrom Hubert Troubador told Internet Chronicle reporters, “Trump and Putin’s friendship seems unstable. They’re in that honeymoon stage that wears off so quickly, and it’s all founded on mutual interests that are, at best, momentary. They both hate Hillary, sure, but they also love her. Why else are they celebrating and mocking her efforts in this way? She’s the centerpiece of their relationship and it’s just weird and creepy at this point. I’d advise them to stop seeing each other and block one another’s accounts. Putin shouldn’t be reading Trump’s twitter account, either. That’s the only chance they have of ending things amicably at this point, in my professional opinion. It may be the only way to avert a nuclear war.”

WikiLeaks publishes Trump emails detailing final ‘catalyst’ chemtrailing

Wikileaks release shows Trump’s inauguration marks the end of humanity as elites deploy the final chemtrail catalyst.

INTERNET — After WikiLeaks quietly cancelled Julian Assange’s Ask Me Anything segment on Reddit, WikiLeaks backup spokesperson Sarah Harrison came forward with startling new hacks showing the inside of the Trump campaign. Harrison said nothing to dispel . . .

Milo Yiannopoulis to undergo conversion therapy

Milo: “Being gay is wrong.”

INTERNET — Banned Twitter bad boy & right wing homosexual Milo Yiannopoolis held a press conference to announce a reality TV show that will follow his tragic struggle with homosexuality in a grueling gay conversion camp. “I can’t promise that it’ll work, but I hope it does. I want . . .

All news – even real news – declared fake news by real fake news review board

STOCKHOLM – After months of rigorous study, discussion and thought experiments, researchers from Lebal Drocer Laboratories, a news analysis think tank, concluded in a white paper released Wednesday that “all news is fake news” under a revised definition of the term ‘fake news.’

Fake news is information that is not news, the conclusion states, . . .

BREAKING — @wikileaks e-mails show Mike @cernovich purchased several infant gorillas — but for what?

Is this the face of a man who thinks he can absorb gorilla souls through ritual?

INTERNET — New reports, first published by Julian Assange of Wikileaks, show documents containing details of illegal infant gorilla transactions during Cernovich’s “hunting trip” to Namibia this summer. The gorillas, referred to with racial slurs in coded e-mails, were . . .

Peon masses kneel before EMPEROR LORD SOVCHRON

terrormax

To everyone’s pleasant surprise, EMPEROR LORD SOVCHRON took control of the entire world Tuesday.

NEW YORK – Inhabitants of planet Earth knelt before the omnipotent ruler of everything Tuesday, EMPEROR LORD SOVCHRON, our new benevolent master.

EMPEROR LORD SOVCHRON is pleased to announce the creation of a SPAWNING POOL from His dimension, which experts . . .

Elites Turn World into Global Deathcamp #Pizzagate

 

Most people just think they’re pedophiles, but the elites “cooked” up that laughable story to hide the horrible truth. They’re eating your abducted and aborted baby souls.

INTERNET — Thanks to Wikileaks new documents have come forth describing the ultimate and final conspiracy, Pizzagate. Only as its jaws have closed around us do . . .

Fake News publishers’ annual conference erupts into violence

China revealed a secret fighter jet that completely outclasses anything possessed by the West

INTERNET — Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, CEO and founder of Internet Chronicle, chairman of the World Fake News conference, issued a stern warning to the world, Friday. The beloved editor emeritus told reporters, “Fake News and its path of deceit . . .

Watch out for Thursday Night’s Mini-Moon

“We in some cool ass dystopia with devil chicks ‘n guns ‘n shit. GG EZ” ~ Sir Angstrom of Troubador

INTERNET — Scientists are forecasting mini-moon conditions for Thursday. This means that smallest moon in the history of the world so far will appear in the night skies, and some believe it is the . . .

6 people who should have taken Santa’s suicide threats more seriously

Santa Clause is on a tear! And this holiday season, it’s everyone’s fault but his. All the people destroying Santa’s life could have paid the ultimate price, but Santa’s last gift to the world was himself.

Never forget.

To brighten the lives of those affected by Kris Kringle’s tragic self-destruction, The Internet Chronicle has compiled . . .