Poison Ivy humiliates thousands of men in her spare time
INTERNET — A 17 year old e-dominatrix known as ‘Poison Ivy’ has been faced with a discriminating and misogynistic campaign to shame her for humiliating hundreds of young men.
This story began when a youtube video, since removed due to a violation of a “policy on nudity or sexual content,” shows an impassioned young man, ‘MarsRPG,’ demonizing Poison Ivy for ‘abusive’ behavior and calling her a psychopath who must be stopped. Since then, trashy publications such as the Daily Mail have repeated this narrative in whole — along with the false allegation that Poison Ivy wants men to kill themselves. There is no evidence that she has ever asked someone to commit suicide, or that anyone has ever committed suicide on account of her sadomasochistic internet schtick. Her following of masochistic young men continue to enjoy her sadistic excesses in spite of the smear campaign, as hundreds of new fans follow her twitter and send in self-denigrating photos.
The Internet Chronicle officially endorses Poison Ivy’s hilarious antics. Those who don’t are probably this man:
Guest writer Christopher Nemelka explains the true inner workings of his teachings
As we play the game of mortal life our Advanced Selves often become immersed in what is ultimately a Lone and Dreary World. I’ve withheld some of the most incredibly revealing secrets until this point in time. But now that it is . . .
Assange’s internet has been cut off, and upon receiving his daily printout of Internet Chronicle, he has suffered a severe psychotic break.
INTERNET — Julian Assange, now caged like a rat in the unfriendly Ecuadorean embassy, trashed his tiny apartment early Monday morning shortly after receiving a stack of printouts of every Internet Chronicle . . .
Julian Assange is back online. Photo: Wikileaks
LONDON–Julian Assange’s oldest love of “crushing bastards” could soon include “crushing bitches” too, after new documents released by Wikileaks show collusion between Hillary Clinton, Clinton Foundation administrators, and Democratic National Committee treasurers.
Everyone but Lee Iacocca has their money on Clinton, given that even weapons manufacturers stand . . .
When Internet Chronicle reader, Marilyn Blake, of Cuthbert, Georgia, was suffering from gross ignorance, her guardian angel came to her aid! She writes:
I’ve always been in perfect health, so I was devastated when, after a regular checkup, doctors diagnosed me with breast cancer. The doctors told me that I needed to . . .
Yousef Saleh Erakat, or the Internet cry baby we all know and love, Fouseytube.
On September 10th 2016 “Fouseytube” kicked an innocent little 10 year old leafy fan off stage for just saying his name. Aren’t you 26 Fousey? Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be picking on little kids for . . .
Melania Trump filed for divorce Sunday, hours before the town hall debate
INTERNET — Melania Trump filed divorce papers Sunday, following the surfacing of explicit tapes vividly displaying husband and presidential nominee Donald Trump’s adulterous and lecherous depravity. Trump jokingly admitted that he joyously molested women and committed adultery in audio clips that will . . .
NEW YORK — “Readers won’t know what hit ’em,” Donald Trump told The Internet Chronicle on Saturday. “It’ll blindside ’em. This book is gonna hit you so hard, reading it will literally make you retarded.”
Trump said he reached out to chronicle.su to discuss the latest in what appears to be the largest public relations . . .
Don’t let their looks fool you, these new voters will someday mature into scared, old people.
ROANOKE, Va. — In a piece rejected by VICE, The Internet Chronicle staked out a nearby voter registration office and harangued new voters with invasive personal questions. In their unlikely, but convenient responses, these new voters expressed an . . .
ROANOKE, Va. — Trump aides confirmed Humanity Party leader Chris Nemelka, a neoconservative religious cult leader who plies his congregation with opioids, is scheduled to introduce the 2016 Republican presidential nominee at a rally in the quiet mountain village of Roanoke, Virginia.
Humanity Party leader Chris Nemelka, seen here comparing himself to . . .