CHICAGO — Friday night after protestors blocked a Donald Trump rally, frustrated Trump supporters fought back by gang raping people of color.
Riot police, outraged by infringements upon The Apprentice stars’ First Amendment rights, massaged their engorged organs from behind the privacy of bullet proof shields, beating at anyone who tried to escape the brutish . . .
Molly Crabapple calls for the US to mount an all-out invasion of Syria
INTERNET — Molly Crabapple tweeted Monday, “The US needs to launch an all-out ground assault on Syria to end Assad’s war crimes in Madaya,” Crabapple reiterated her position that US commanders are “pussies” for hesitating to bomb brown people so . . .
Acclaimed housing expert and inventor of tomorrow’s forms of social domination, Dr. Angstrom H. Buckminster Troubadour, told a warm audience of white silicon valley elites exactly what they wanted to hear — the unsightliness of poverty has finally and permanently been solved by his team of scientists at the YouTopia foam mansion housing project.
“I’ve . . .
ZAGREB — Weev, the internet troll Andrew Aurenheimer, wrenches his mouth open with both hands: He’s got big things to say. Nothin’ really comes out but the smell of gluten free gut rot — his digestive system is on display: a moebius clump knotted around an impossible constipation so extreme it’s a wonder he . . .
Trigger Warning is a circlejerk all over Rachel Haywire and a hip brand for reactionaries who operate as a fraudulent oppressed minority of politically incorrect radicals. The big hook is that it turns stale reactionary ideas held mostly by old white men into something a teen girl might think is cool. The result — . . .
The Wonder Years
Barry kept a picture of Ayn Rand in his copy of Atlas Shrugged, which he read and reread, using the photo both as a masturbation aid and as a bookmark.
“Barry” his mother called from the kitchen, “Your flight for the safari is in two hours, are you packed and ready . . .
NORFOLK, Va. – Jamie Jo Corne clings to General Lee as his battle wagon, a 74 Winnebago, struggling over the Rockies at three miles per hour, backing up traffic all the way to the grasslands, lapping against the snowcapped peaks.
“God Dammit I learned a lot of shit when I was investigating Anonymous. We . . .
#OpISIS targets the women and children of ISIS
RAQQA, SYRIA — Vice News traveled to Raqqa, the ISIL stronghold where fighters for the Islamic State are under heavy fire not only from the Jordanian air force, but from hackers at Anonymous. Tarik Shabab, lieutenant commander of an elite video crew that staged several . . .
Several women had come forward with allegations against Bill Cosby of gross sexual misconduct.
BILL COSBY — Pain and anguish struck the hearts of millions of fans, Sunday, after news broke of comedian Bill Cosby’s suicide at the age of 77. A rash of sex assault allegations plagued America’s favorite Black comedian earlier . . .
The Chronicle.su will never die
SLAVEYARD — Lebal Drocer, indicted for what one Judge called, “laying down with the dogs and getting the fleas,” fired back at Europol after they seized Lebal Drocer Publishing’s heavily-guarded mainframe installation in Belgium, or possibly Germany.
Lebal Drocer’s Chief Marketing Officer Barry B. Poundheaven told reporters, “This . . .