That cyberterrorism’s gonna destroy America

I don’t get why we gotta be using these damn computers anyway. Especially if some jerkoff kids are gonna be hackin’ into my webcam and watchin’ me all hours of the night.

Orderin’ illegal gun modifications that I HAVE A RIGHT TO from the 2nd amendment is great, but what good does it do ME . . .

Modern Warfare 2: "If this is war, I wanna be there!"

Is slaughtering innocents enough to help us win the fight against Terror? You decide, on level three. . . .

Meet your new Elf Wax reporter!

The Elf Wax Times is proud to bring you fresh talent and new insight! Join us to learn more about your fearless new writer. . . .