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One local farmer says ‘Society ain’t no good anymore’

In 1998, farmer Jessie Dank took a final look at society before he stopped giving a fuck.

“It just ain’t worth havin’,” says a farmer.

In 1998, Jessie Dank took one last look at society, before he stopped giving a fuck.

An area farmer is under fire after suggesting society serves “really no purpose” and – in his words – is “just there to fuck with my shit.”

The church struck . . .

President Trump visits Roanoke River Catfish Farm

Supervisors hang on his every word, as Trump gives critical field guidance to a Virginia fish hatchery.

To ensure sustainable resource quantities for all people of the United States, President Trump visited the Roanoke River Catfish Farm.

The Juche Farm has successfully become a world-class, large-scale fish farm, pumping fish on an industrial scale . . .

Trump declares war on poverty

Trump put on a worn pair of reading glasses Wednesday morning, spun his favorite Mozart track La Climenza de Tito, and sat down with a legal pad at the head of a conference room table in the West wing of the White House. There, he met with professors of Harvard economics and sociologists from MIT, . . .

Your keyboard is spying on you

New sonic keyboard technology uses your computer’s built-in microphone to monitor the sounds of your individual keystrokes, logging everything you do, according to new research conducted by Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour and his team of unpaid graduate students.

This intuitive method of eavesdropping combines new with the old by “listening in” on audio footage through . . .

Internet Chronicle enters incredible “Stage III” of spectacular human development study

The Lebal Drocer Hate-Coil "Mind Over Matter"

Lebal Drocer Laboratories boldly guides us into a Brave New World

Raleigh T. Hatesec, chairman of the Workers’ Party of Democratic People’s Republic of United States of America, chairman of the DPRUSA State Board of Ethics in Human Experimentation and supreme commander of the American People’s Army, gave field guidance to a Washington, D.C. . . .

Lebal Drocer CEOs asked: “Why aren’t there more broads in the workplace?”

New Miracle baby dust pills by Lebal Drocer Inc

Tiffany, from Lebal Drocer, Inc. enjoys a long, storied career answering phones, and fetching Kilgoar’s coffee.

Hi, I’m Dr. Angstrom Hire Troubledames and I am chief of human resources at the legendary chemical warfare contractor and Internet Chronicle publisher Lebal Drocer, Inc. At Lebal Drocer we specialize in putting tear gas and mustard . . .

All news – even real news – declared fake news by real fake news review board

STOCKHOLM – After months of rigorous study, discussion and thought experiments, researchers from Lebal Drocer Laboratories, a news analysis think tank, concluded in a white paper released Wednesday that “all news is fake news” under a revised definition of the term ‘fake news.’

Fake news is information that is not news, the conclusion states, . . .

Peon masses kneel before EMPEROR LORD SOVCHRON

terrormax

To everyone’s pleasant surprise, EMPEROR LORD SOVCHRON took control of the entire world Tuesday.

NEW YORK – Inhabitants of planet Earth knelt before the omnipotent ruler of everything Tuesday, EMPEROR LORD SOVCHRON, our new benevolent master.

EMPEROR LORD SOVCHRON is pleased to announce the creation of a SPAWNING POOL from His dimension, which experts . . .

6 people who should have taken Santa’s suicide threats more seriously

Santa Clause is on a tear! And this holiday season, it’s everyone’s fault but his. All the people destroying Santa’s life could have paid the ultimate price, but Santa’s last gift to the world was himself.

Never forget.

To brighten the lives of those affected by Kris Kringle’s tragic self-destruction, The Internet Chronicle has compiled . . .

Trump responds: Mothers Against Violent Videogames blamed Sid Meier’s Civilization series for Donald Trump’s cartoonish rise to power

Boredom advocate group Mothers Against Violent Videogames (MAVAV) came out in opposition on Saturday against the popular Civilization game series, of which there are now more than six installments.

The game’s depiction of cartoon powermongering and racially static world leaders teaches children it’s OK to indulge in dangerous lust for power, the group said. . . .