College Party

We are all so smart. Look at us, how fucking smart we are.
We all agree. We are ALL in agreement.
Look at us. How we do agree!
We are all so loud. Listen to us.
How loudly in agreement we can be!
How little we say. In so many words.
How few thoughts, between the many, are we!

The Flower Sermon on Mount Sinai

Startling New Events Link Jewish Prophet Moses with The Buddha Siddhartha Gautama

Startling New Theory Links Jewish Prophet Moses with The Buddha Siddhartha Gautama

After traveling to Mount Sinai, I saw a vision of Jesus, The Buddha, Moses, Lao Tzu, and Socrates. Moses presented me with half of a stone tablet. This stone was torn in half by Lao Tzu as Socrates discarded one half by asking it a question (a strange word remained, and one from the other was annihilated “ΔιογένηςὁΣινωπεύς” –“ΠαρμενίδηςὁἘλεάτης”). Each prophet took his turn to explain the remaining five commandments, which were carved before my eyes by a light brighter than ten thousand welding arcs. My skin burnt and bled as the revelation unfolded, but Jesus, in his infinite mercy, healed me with his laughter, and I understood how to best interpret each commandment.

1. Put none above God.

God is The World. Other rough synonyms such as The Universe, Nature, Truth, Life, Consciousness, or Reality are close enough to be substituted for ‘God’ and are each in their most expansive sense symbols which indicate the same paradoxical set of all sets. Do not put the symbol above what is symbolized whether the language system be Science, Religion, or otherwise. The very first line of the Dao De Jing says, in perfect concordance with the first law brought forth by Moses, “The Dao which can be put into language is not Dao.” Or, as the Buddha Gautama once said at the Lotus Sermon, “.”

2.  Forsake all Idols

There are no sacred texts, holy men, statues, or aphorisms which are entirely perfect representations of God. This is a restatement of the first commandment, which bears repetition and emphasis.

3. Do not take God’s name in vain

Equally applied to such words as The World, The Universe, Nature, Truth, or Reality, this indicates the same idea as the first and second commandments. Such words bear the weight of an infinitude beyond all mortal comprehension and should be used with utmost care. One who uses these words is as Atlas, bearing the entire weight of God. This is another restatement of the first commandment and bears even this third repetition.

4. Slack off

The Commandments of Moses required only one day per week for restful contemplation of God, but back in his day people did not have robots, computers, or internal combustion engines to streamline and multiply daily works. Without even being commanded, most people now celebrate two days of rest per week! Weekends must be extended to three days. Not far in the future, work may become a task only for automatons. Exactly four more prophets and significant technological advancement will be needed to completely extend restful contemplation of God to all seven days of the week.

5. Seek (a) Meaning in Life

None have ever figured out The meaning of life and none can, as explained in the above commandments, but the search is all that’s left for humans after the automatons take over other daily works. A search without an object is falling and stumbling into an abyss which is itself alive and staring back. God is Not Dead. Finding adequate slack, humanity may even generate beings which will be able to address meaning in language which is far beyond contemporary comprehension, but this becoming is not The meaning and it is not Ascension. God is always-already and present in all; therefore, You Are God; this is tautology’.

THIS ABSOLUTE TRUTH BROUGHT TO YOU BY LEBAL DROCER, INC. NEW GOVERNMENT REGULATIONS REQUIRE WE PROVIDE A STERN WARNING: JOSEPH CAMPBELL’S EPISTEMOLOGY DOES NOT DESCEND FROM GOD — ONLY ANALYTIC LOGIC, WHICH DESCENDS DIRECTLY FROM A TRANSCENDENT GOD AND ENCAPSULATES GOD AT THE SAME TIME, IS PROVEN BY ITS OWN INTERNALLY CONSISTENT NATURE. SCIENTISTS PROVED JOSEPH CAMPBELL WRONG. HE’S NOT EXAMINING CHRISTIANS. HE’S TREATING THEM SUPERFICIALLY. THE MAN FELL INTO OCCULT BUDDHIST INFLUENCES FROM STAR WARS AND INDIANA JONES. WE BELIEVE JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AS A HISTORICAL FACT!

A guru got the idea of immanence through a young boy’s head at too early an age. “Thou art THAT!” And like that the boy understood that He Was God. Not long after, he stood still in a road as an Elephant lumbered in his direction. “Why move?” he thought, “I am God!” The elephant threw him off the path, critically injuring him with internal bleeding. Before his time was up, the guru came upon him and asked, “What the hell happened to you?” 

The Blackhat Holocaust

uncle_sam2INTERNET — Everything you thought you knew about hacking is bullshit.

After years of living underground, in refuge from the whitehat warlords, blackhat hackers will finally be eliminated in what is being dubbed the “Blackhat Holocaust.” What was once a rich and vibrant scene has been co-opted by the far right-left corporatarians, meaning dollar bills, fellas. Your hats are meaningless in the eyes of governments and corporations alike. All of your ideas, inventions, theories, exploits are being freely(at a cost) distributed amongst the wealthy to piss in the collective pool with.
[pullquote]The NSA are the biggest blackhats, man.[/pullquote]

Your OPSEC is futile. You mull over the thousands of possibilities for event(x) out loud on twitter, while the blackhats laugh in the background. Such ugly schadenfreude; but their time has come.

The Internet Chronicles Chief Technology Officer and avid Biella Coleman fan, Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador elaborates: “Blackhats aren’t Anonymous, they aren’t carders, script kiddies, packeteers or those owning Linode for fun. Nay, they are something far more villainous.”

For about 15 years now, people touted whitehats as the enemy of the hacking community at large, but the real harbinger of destruction was the peddling of a deluded belief that being a blackhat meant you could still work for the government, you could still be a corporate lackey, you’d have to sell your soul, but you could still write your exploits… though you’d have to sell those too. Everyone needs money though, right? We understand.

Is there a way to overthrow the omnipresent blackhat hegemony? Absolutely! You must learn the ways of the blackhat, become a blackhat hacker, immerse yourself in all things blackhat. Write as many exploits as possible. You will be challenged though, oh you will be challenged. This task is not for the faint at heart or wallet. With your exploits comes the potential for sale to nation-state actors that will use your own tools against you, your friends and loved ones. You will be lured in by unimaginable riches, the wealth of a thousand kingdoms and oh the power, the mother fucking power! However grandiose it all may seem, don’t fuck your fellow hackers and citizens in the ass. Just don’t fucking do it.

The blackhats will come to you in many forms. It will happen this way: you will be coding… maybe the last sunny day of fall and an encrypted message will be sent to you from someone you know, perhaps even trust, and they will offer a smile, a becoming smile, but they will leave open the door to becoming a true blackhat and offer to give you a lift…

For this day: release your exploits, tools, techniques, everything you’ve ever learned! Destroy all of your 0day via disclosure or distribute them amongst the poor and impoverished! Take the power you collected through your quest for great knowledge and destroy it in one fell swoop.

Cum on them before they cum on you.

And then create something beautiful.

I suppose it doesn’t matter though, guys and dolls, because there’s a war going on and this war is prefixed with “cyber,” fellas. Buyin’ in, sellin’ out.

The Red Pill

The red pill offers perfect transcendence to a reality – the only reality – where the human penis is both the conclusion and ultimatum of the natural universe, simultaneously. “She’s the cunt who thought she was God, but that’s okay. I don’t give a shit as long as she sucks me off when I tell her, ’cause she’s my zombie. I captured that motherfucker and she’s my cassette.” What Lebal Drocer Spokesman Raleigh T. Sakers means is there is no facet of existence the red pill can not touch, because if there was, then it wouldn’t be rape.

The Indian Example

India is a culture of rape.

In India, everyone is brought up fantasizing about rape. Instead of casually taking a few girls out on dates one month, boys are conditioned to view women as meat holes under a cloth drape. The rape is an honor of which women can only partake as unwillingly as is possible while still being able to call it an act of rape by definition. To be chosen for rape is every Indian woman’s calling in life. Like the Beatles said, “Rape is all ya need.”

Asking For It.

Asking For It.

India’s such a real place, the red pill philosophy is built into their way of life. Indians are literally born into enlightenment. And if you aren’t, then you’re what’s known as an untouchable (but not un-rape-able). Indian men who never transcended still mimic their sister aging western ideologues by “respecting” a woman’s “choice” who she has “sex” with, but for those who take the red pill, a choice has already been made. And if you’re a woman, you’re getting raped. Just try to act like you don’t enjoy it, for his pleasure.

Supermarkets collect metadata with discount cards, says Snowden

Snowden has proved the insidious discount card programs at Supermarkets track your every move.

Snowden has proved the insidious discount card programs at Supermarkets track your every move.

MOSCOW, Russia – New leaks by Edward Snowden, the whistleblower responsible for unveiling NSA surveillance programs, show that all “discount cards” offered by supermarkets are in fact used as part of a ubiquitous data collection and surveillance program.

“Every time you swipe that card to save a few measly cents,” said Snowden, via collect call, “they collect information on everything you purchase. They know what you eat and drink, and they know how you pay for it.”

Supermarkets fired back at Snowden, claiming that the data isn’t identified with individuals unless it poses a clear and present danger.

But Snowden provided evidence to The Internet Chronicle showing that that was clearly not the case. In documents obtained during his tenure as elite hacker for the NSA, Snowden uncovered a program to profile every individual, including images taken from supermarket video surveillance, which has been in place for decades.

“They watch you pick up every item and can compare it with metadata,” warned Snowden. “Everyone has a file, and I wouldn’t be surprised if shoplifters were prosecuted 10, 20 years down the line when it’s possible to analyze this data in more detail.”

News Editorial

We should have the NSA.

And I’m glad women are second class citizens. I hope the NSA is still doing that thing where they spy on their own wives because they’re insecure with who they are.

I’m glad the war’s going to continue another 20 years. I just wish we had enough money left over for 50.

I’m glad we have smartphones. I’m glad idiots have something to do with their hands, and to do their thinking for them.

I hope a nuclear weapon discharges by accident because we STUXNET’d the wrong group. And I hope a lot of brown people die needlessly.

State sponsored terrorism is the terrorism for me. It’s not even terrorism, if you ask the right people. We are fighting for freedom. We’re freedom fighters.

CHRONICLE.SU IS A PROUD SUPPORTER OF FREEDOM FIGHTERS FOR DEMOCRACY. FOR WAR.

THE RADIATION NANOBOTS PERMEATE THE SKULL (what are these brown patches?)

follow-your-dreams

I HAVE NIGHTMARES WHERE A DARKNESS LEAKS OUT OF MY PHONE, INTO MY BRAIN, AND OBFUSCATES EVERY LAYER OF REALITY BEFORE IT.

THE LAYER WHERE I AM ASLEEP.

THE LAYER WHERE I AM A CLONE ON A CLONE FARM.

THE LAYER WHERE I AM THE MIND OF GOD.

THE CONTAINER LAYER OF GOD.

WINDOWS 95

I would completely annihilate my enemies in a retaliatory strike.

Battle Stations!

Plato said that a city driven by luxuries was fevered, and in a state of Eternal War the entire planet is overrun by Jungles as Carbon Dioxide and Global Warming alter the climate and lead to mass-famines in every city except on small islands. Repeated Nuclear Detonations release just enough ash to partially cancel the global warming, ironically becoming the only reason life on Earth can possibly survive.

Plato said that a city driven by luxuries was fevered, and in a state of Eternal War the entire planet is overrun by Jungles as Carbon Dioxide and Global Warming alter the climate and lead to mass-famines in every city except on small islands. Repeated Nuclear Detonations release just enough ash to partially cancel the global warming, ironically becoming the only reason life on Earth can possibly survive.

FROM WITHIN PRISM’S PANOTPIC GAZE — The Empire Has No Clothes, and the Revolution draws ever nearer, just as me and all my friends on Twitter have always agreed. It’s so close I can taste it.

As the Panopticon’s Black Iron Prison encloses the planet Earth from a panoply of hateful Imperial powers — America, China, and every tinpot dictator in each patsy state on the planet, We, The People of the Internet have been busy plotting the perfect and most intellectual plans for the New World Order, which also happens to be the thing conspiracy theorists like me fear most. I’ve done tremendous research on this problem, and have logged untold thousands of hours on many different versions of Sid Meyer’s Civilization series.

The New World Order is a horror, of course, unless you happen to believe in Reparations for all Blacks in America, Gay Marriage, Legal Marijuana, Maximum Salaries, and Maximum Work Weeks. You want some hope? I’ll throw that in, but you’ve got to send me bitcoins.

That’s right! No one in America (Or our patsy semi-colonies!) will EVER work more than 20 hours a week. It’s a bitch when all these RedBoxes, McBoxes, and Combine Harvesters take the jobs of all our illegal immigrants and we have to start paying for their healthcare. But not anymore! No, No! We will have enough jobs even for the freeloaders and the tramps, and people will still be able to become unbelievably filthy fucking rich with a maximum yearly income of 5 million dollars. Sure, some people might say I want to unfairly tax the everliving shit out of those who bring in billions, but I don’t see it that way. They made it all on your dime! Think about it, we’ve been investing tax money into computers and robots for a hundred years in order to fight for freedom and defeat the Nazi Scum. We SHOULD be living in a Techno Utopia with Robots doing Everything! To HELL with Nazi-sympathizing billionaires who think that THEY should get ALL profit off of The Only God Damned GOOD war we’ve fought in a long time. We’re gonna invest it in robots, motherfucker! If you Vote for ME as president of the New World Order, which will surely follow the oncoming Revolution (I believe it was instigated by the Chinese! They’ve taken Snowden into their grips, and I’m afraid it’s too late for Obama. (We can’t fall into the grips of China. Trust me, I would prefer Prism to the Great FireWall ANY DAY.))

FEMA CAMPS ACTIVATE AS MILITIA GROUPS ASSEMBLE IN WAKE OF NSA SURVEILLANCE DEBACLE

Armed militia groups have assembled in public spaces around the nation in response to totalitarian government surveillance.

Armed militia groups have assembled in public spaces around the nation in response to totalitarian government surveillance.

WASHINGTON – Floods of concerned citizens around the nation are reporting the same chilling story: Convoys of military and paramilitary forces are arriving at Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) camps, which are capable of indefinitely interning a large proportion of American citizens. Militia groups have reportedly assembled in downtown Grand Rapids, N.D., at the Citadel patriot community in Benewah County, Idaho, and at least a hundred public spaces across the nation. Hundreds of protesters have gathered outside of the entrance to the access road leading to the deep-underground FEMA Mount Weather Emergency Operations Center. It is unclear whether this is a response to activation of FEMA camps, or if the FEMA camps activated in response to the assembly of these militias, who are likening themselves to an armed Occupy movement.

A spokesperson for the OccupyMilitia, as the spontaneous militarized protest movement has been dubbed, said, “We don’t want death or violence. We just want an end to totalitarian Internet surveillance, and we know from watching the Occupy protests that we need to be armed if we want to be heard.”

Citizens around the nation wait with bated breath as the inevitable conflict approaches, and for some the story has become too much to handle.

“We’ve had several suicides related to this NSA wiretap story,” said Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador of Mercy Hospital in Cuthbert, Ga. “More are coming in by the hour as these FEMA stories spread. People are certain they will soon be sent to their death in these camps, especially those who already believe Obama is the Antichrist.”

ELFWAX affiliate unearthed after years of abuse

The following video was extracted from an archive of federal repossessions and returned the chronicle.su office late last year.

“Years of systematically abusing oneself while praying to Charles Manson leads a person to create music and imagery like this. And in one dark night, it can all disappear. With one murder, all your work can be lost forever, whether you meant to kill the guy or not.” – Ronald Reagan

The pretext for this video more or less implies that the video was released in order to meet serious market demand for distorted pornographic imagery interlaced with swastikas and pictures of world leaders being shredded apart while a man sings into a dildo-enhanced microphone. There is no turning back now. Your mind is on the drugs.

Melt the drug.