NEW YORK — The release of a Justice Department inspector general report Tuesday is driving department flunkee and Pajamas Media blogger J. Christian Adams into the journalistic echelon of Nellie Bly and Upton Sinclair. Tom Perez, head of the Civil Rights Division and Obama pick for labor secretary, is actually a vehemently anti-white racist; Adams has blown the whole thing wide open, and the Beltway is panicking.
In April Adams picked up the Stormfront Kiss of Death Life endorsement after calling out the affirmative action anti-white conspiracy. Stormfront poster HeartOfLeonidas remarked that Adams’ view was “common sense,” adding:
It is sad that North America has fallen from grace and is overburdened with such a dense population of swarthy, seething, angry and jealous as sin non-whites. I blame the jews and their white libtarded and christarded co-conspirators for horribly dysgenic effect their minldessness [sic] and moralitylessness has allowed to spawn and setup [sic] residence in this formerly fair Nation over these last 100 years.
J. Christian Adams had this to say about Tom Perez:
In the report, Assistant Attorney General Tom Perez . . . makes clear that he doesn’t think Section 5 should ever be used to protect a white minority in covered jurisdictions.
Perez feels it should only be used to prop up the political position of “people of color.” If the victims of discrimination happen to be white, too bad — they are not protected.
The inspector general reports marks Adams’ entrance into the wacky and wonderful world of Daily Currant/Onion punking reporting, as Perez made no such reference to “people of color” in the entire document. It’s an entirely made-up quote from the report, and that’s pretty avant-garde.
Adams at one point in his post said he believed Perez thought “people of color are always part of a ‘disadvantaged group’” before Adams contradicts himself only 14 words later: “DOJ Voting Section lawyers employed Perez’s logic to argue against helping white victims of discrimination in Macon, Mississippi, saying: ‘Until blacks were socio-economically equal to whites in Mississippi (read: statistically) then whites should not be protected under the Voting Rights Act.’”
What Adams Thinks America Could Be Like When Perez and His Ilk “Always” Insist on Racial Enforcement of Voting Rights Act Section 5 (Photo: Getty)
So on one hand, according to Adams, Perez wants selective race-based enforcement of Voting Rights Act Section 5 “always,” even if black Americans were to become some kind of ultra-rich elite separatist set, all obsessed with inbreeding and private clubs. Then Adams admits that long before that point, white Americans would become protected by the Voting Rights Act.
Adams sees coming the middle of the 21st century, when white Americans will in fact become a statistical, if not financial, minority for the first time. He wants to be on the record for complaining early.
BIG BEAR, CALIF. — Chris Dorner shot and killed a police deputy in a gunfight outside a cabin in the Big Bear Lake area, where he is currently hiding. The cabin is on fire.
LAPD Cmdr. Andrew Smith asked news helicopters not to broadcast live reports because Dorner could use the footage to strategically battle police in real time.
Dorner released a tl;dr manifesto detailing plans to kill racist pigs and their families. The murder manifesto outlined his experiences as an unhinged police officer in a lockstep Hate regime, which Dorner claims never changed after the Rodney King beatings.
But instead got worse.
In the manifesto, Dorner calls on journalists to enact Freedom of Information Act requests verifying his claims.
At the beginning of the Dorner manhunt, LA police shot the living shit out of two brown women delivering newspapers. Their truck make, model, color and license plate did not match the description of Dorner’s.
From the Dorner Manifesto:
I’m not an aspiring rapper, I’m not a gang member, I’m not a dope dealer, I don’t have multiple babies momma’s. I am an American by choice, I am a son, I am a brother, I am a military service member, I am a man who has lost complete faith in the system, when the system betrayed, slandered, and libeled me. I lived a good life and though not a religious man I always stuck to my own personal code of ethics, ethos and always stuck to my shoreline and true North. I didn’t need the US Navy to instill Honor, Courage, and Commitment in me but I thank them for re-enforcing it. It’s in my DNA.
From 2/05 to 1/09 I saw some of the most vile things humans can inflict on others as a police officer in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, it wasn’t in the streets of LA. It was in the confounds of LAPD police stations and shops (cruisers). The enemy combatants in LA are not the citizens and suspects, it’s the police officers.
Terminating officers because they expose a culture of lying, racism (from the academy), and excessive use of force will immediately change. PSB can not police their own and that has been proven. The blue line will forever be severed and a cultural change will be implanted. You have awoken a sleeping giant.
I am here to change and make policy. The culture of LAPD versus the community and honest/good officers needs to and will change. I am here to correct and calibrate your morale compasses to true north.
Citizens/non-combatants, do not render medical aid to downed officers/enemy combatants. They would not do the same for you. They will let you bleed out just so they can brag to other officers that they had a 187 caper the other day and can’t wait to accrue the overtime in future court subpoenas. As they always say, “that’s the paramedics job…not mine”. Let the balance of loss of life take place. Sometimes a reset needs to occur.
If we’ve learned anything from this, it’s that: We’re ALL not Chris Dorner.
John Tiessen repeatedly accused my favorite literary character, Kurt Vonnegut’s Kilgore Trout, of child molestation. Mr. Tiessen also made overt threats of physical violence and nuisance litigation (accompanied by veiled threats of violence in the courthouse) towards this fictional character, whom I love, so I made this video with Mr. Tiessen’s “greatest hits.”
In one of these threat-laden pedo-accusation videos targeting Kilgore Trout, Mr. Tiessen received news of his uncle’s death. His telephone ringer was a police siren, and after a short eulogy, he returned to the overt threats and Kilgore Trout pedophilia-talk.
John Tiessen worshipped Barrett Brown and emulated his bathtub Tinychat wine session, substituting a glass of orange juice for Brown’s red wine. Immediately following the arrest of Barrett Brown, Tiessen threatened the CIA, FBI and DHS in a sweeping rebuke of authorities who are all afraid of the “big ol’ surprise [he] got waitin’ for ye.” Brown was arrested for threatening an FBI agent’s children on September 11.
The Anti-Leader’s handbook is a satirical work of fiction I authored parodying the type of people who like to preach to Anonymous.
I’ve received a lot of strange responses to this work, some more horrifying than others, but John Tiessen’s psychosis was definitely the most chilling. I made an agreement with John to end these kinds of activities, and months later he posted a defamatory comment to this glorious and infallible publication attacking the ethical hacking professor Sam Bowne — recently interviewed by my co-editor-in-chief Tyler Bass — with pedophilia accusations, simply because he disagreed with Bowne’s logical, cool-headed critique of Anonymous.
John Tiessen rose to fame within Anonymous by slandering the conservative “ex-military” hacker th3j35t3r, a “patriot” who temporarily shuts down violent Jihadist forums.
INTERNET — Well under 9.000 files (a paltry 4,000) representing the IP addresses, logins, and personal home addresses of small-time employees at local banks were allegedly released on Monday by “Anonymous” hackers. This information was posted on alabama.gov, along with a message claiming the data was obtained from the Federal Reserve. Some early reporting claims this information was posted on Pastebin.com. However, the only Pastebin link traded publicly by members of #OpLastResort contains only the insane rants of Aaron Bale. Anonymous also repeated the claim that they have long-term footholds in government computer systems. This release was coordinated with cooperation from advocacy journalist “Violet Blue,” perhaps to beat more skeptical coverage to the punch.
We support your narrative because it is ours. Now that is quality reporting!
“The hacktivist entity dropped enough technical details to make it clear that its tracks were covered and that Anonymous still had access to .gov websites,” said Violet Blue’s article published on ZDNET. Exemplary of what not to do when covering statements issued by hacking groups, the mere mention of “technical details” has reinforced an extraordinary narrative. Certainly these profoundly extraordinary claims from Anonymous require extraordinary evidence. However, this evidence is not mentioned or cited in any depth beyond this short sentence, dangling on its own mere absurd assertion. Even more, it is a dangerous and apparently unfounded endorsement of a terroristic threat designed to drain the government of resources.
This action has drawn strong comparisons to a past Anonymous operation manufactured by federal agents. “Anonymous,” led by FBI agent Sabu, hacked the open-source intelligence publication Stratfor, mischaracterizing it as a “Shadow CIA.” Using this information on Christmas eve, Sabu led “Anonymous” to target low-level journalists, raiding their bank accounts to make donations that would later be returned to the journalists after the charities were penalized.
Investigators at Chronicle.SU have been unable to find any proof that the information on 4,000 bank employees exists, as the alabama.gov website on which it was allegedly posted has since been taken offline. However, Violet Blue has reported on it (citing broken hyperlinks to alabama.gov), so therefore it must be true. Aaron Bale, spokesperson for the operation, refused to provide a link to the information for Chronicle.SU, accusing the glorious and infallible publication of cooperation with the US government, “[N]o one knows what [yo]ur talking about. At least sabu was lulzy and relevant. Fed money doesn’t buy what it used to.”
Chronicle.SU is wholly owned and operated by Lebal Drocer, Inc., a subsidiary of the United Soviet Socialist Democratic Republic of Cuthbert, Georgia, a sovereign entity and economic powerhouse leading the South to Rise Again in the name of its Dear Islamic Leader, the Loyal and Moral Raghubir Goyal.
Massachusetts District U.S. Attorney Carmen Ortiz (Courtesy: Wikipedia)
WASHINGTON — In a not-so-stirring defense of academic conglomerate JSTOR, U.S. Attorney Carmen Ortiz said of Aaron Swartz‘s offenses, “Stealing is stealing whether you use a computer command or a crowbar, and whether you take documents, data or dollars. It is equally harmful to the victim whether you sell what you have stolen or give it away.” While common sense and lore would tend to at least lend more sympathy to Robin Hood- or Jean Valjean-type characters, who might be at least functioning out of some concern for others, Ms. Ortiz remained steadfast in her pursuit of recent “an Hero” Mr. Swartz, trying to see him put in jail for potentially the rest of his life.
Over at WhoWhatWhy Christian Stork does a nice little breakdown of this U.S. attorney’s wading into murky waters of civil asset forfeiture, one particular case in which she agreed to help confiscate a rundown, mom-and-pop Massachusetts motel because because “from 2001 to 2008, .05 [percent of at least 125,000 visitors] were arrested for drug crimes on the property.” This was a theft just like Aaron Swartz’s. Except not it was not a theft in the high-minded name of educating the world’s downtrodden, but in that of fattening the pockets of law enforcement agencies, treating poor drug abusers as criminals, alongside those who might dare house them.
Mr. Stork paints a disturbing picture of a civil asset forfeiture system in which being in debt vis-a-vis a mortgage — meaning that a bank, and its lawyers, has some has some skin in the game — means that the owners of this motel would have been in an even better position to disavow their affiliation with three handfuls of guest drug offenses. But alas they ran out of lawyer money, and the government all at once took five decades of family property worth $1.5 million.
Mr. Stork also outlines a direct financial, not an external ethical, motive for law enforcement to take on these kinds of civil asset forfeitures. He cites the testimony of a DEA agent claiming that federal attorneys never go after anything with less than $50,000 in equity. Additionally, local law enforcement, for cooperating with the feds, can look to take home up to 80 percent of what was seized. That’s a major incentive to turn a blind eye to a violation of property rights. In fact it’s more of an incentive to turn a blind eye to property-rights violations than the Pirate Party ever had: It’s money straight to the bank!
The same prosecutor, Carmen Ortiz, who sought to lock up Aaron Swartz for his failure to respect property rights of the proprietors of academic information also sought to seize a family’s business because an extreme minority of their clientele used drugs. Mr. Stork’s article makes clear that this was ultimately the DEA’s initiative, with Ms. Ortiz simply acting as its lawyer. But that doesn’t change that this U.S. attorney lacks any consistency in her modus operandi. It’s pretty obvious that the low rates for staying at this establishment, Motel Caswell, made it an even more tempting target.
Ms. Ortiz’s office released a statement about the seizure, saying: “The government believed that this was an important case . . . because of the deterrent message it sends to others who may turn a blind eye to crime occurring at their place of business.” But Mr. Stork shows this is shmoax because local crime rates dictate that there would have been just as much of a rationale for seizing nearby Walmart, Home Depot, Applebees, Motel 6 and IHOP. But those are large businesses, and no matter how many people shoot up or each other inside, they’ll have the lawyers to keep the whomever or the DEA at bay.
RICHMOND, VA. — “We just seen the opportunity, and I couldn’t pass it up. I had to own a slave,” said Internet Chronicle Publisher Frank Mason, speaking to clerical staff and press called to a conference at 1000 Monument Ave. With Jeff Schapiro from the Times-Dispatch busily taking notes, Mr. Mason continued, lamenting that he could only purchase a worker’s mortal flesh, “his gametes but never his soul.” He emphasized every syllable with a bang on the marble table top.
“God ain’t legalized that yet,” said Mr. Mason with a dry, wheezing laugh, before ejecting a runny stream of “baccy” from between tarred lips into a spittoon two meters away, carved apparently from a human skull.
“See that spitoon over there?” he said, gesticulating for reporters and Richmond business leaders. “That there’s a Czech. You can tell by the shape of the unity lobe.”
Editor of Chronicle.su — and lifelong friend of Mr. Mason’s — Kilgoar Trout complained that he was given no say in the matter. “Frank wanted to own a human being, he said. He said it’d make him feel powerful. It does.”
Lebal Drocer is a limited liability corporation. In God’s new America NAFTA and GATT have railroaded the communist unions that used to effectively clip and snip job creators. Those days are over. 1999 and Seattle came and went.
And they lost.
In addition to having assembled Virginia business leaders and various Saudi investors to show off what he called “his new Chinese,” Frank Mason told Internet Chronicle enthusiasts present that he was encouraging staff to obtain concealed-carry permits as soon as possible, and to fasten as many rails as possible to any “tricked-out rifles” staff might have hoarded in secret rooms in their basements. “That one’s putting a clampdown on on everything holy. Like my grandpappy used to say, Jesus won’t tolerate no clip with less capacity than days in his months,” adding, “And I ain’t talking about February!”
It was at this point that Raymond H. Boone of the Richmond Free-Press left the conference.
Editor Kilgoar Trout shared his concern that the company was moving too quickly away from the model of documenting the most frightening developments in cybersecurity and the out-of-control, privately bought-out surveillance state. “With this new venture into human trafficking,” said Mr. Trout to the publisher of Southside’s Community Weekly, “Frank’s really hijacking my religion of peace.”
AUSTIN, TEXAS — This afternoon federal agents killed Alex Jones and 52 Genesis Communications Network associates, each with two gunshot wounds to the back of the head. The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, now investigating the incident, describes these wounds as “self-inflicted.” Before the standoff reached its bloody conclusion, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney clarified at the daily briefing that Mr. Jones faced charges of pedophilia, illicit gun alteration and roughly two decades of back income taxes. Photographers captured ATF agents placing the bodies of the 52 employees into plastic coffins. The compound collapsed in place after suffering damage from armored Caterpillar bulldozers specially deployed by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
Thursday morning undercover Waco Child Protective Service agents showed up at the door of the GCN compound and asked to speak to Mr. Jones. They presented themselves as wandering members of the milita movement, sympathetic following what Mr. Jones had termed his “explosive” appearance on “Piers Morgan Tonight.” When surrogates showed Mr. Jones to the door, they presented him with a Remington 870 shotgun. CPS asked if Mr. Jones could help them shorten the barrel below 22 inches. Mr. Jones, standing in his doorway, they say, happily agreed, took the American-made 12-gauge shotgun into a back lot and shortened it. When child protective services asked to take Mr. Jones’s children, the radio host disclosed that he was a sovereign citizen tax protester, having avoided the income tax due to its “unconstitutionality” since 1913.
Mr. Jones was 38 and is survived by millions of followers, having hosted the 10th most popular radio show in the United States. Mr. Jones was most famous for his December 31, 1999 broadcast, during which he was the only media source to break a taboo on reporting on the Russian missile attack that occurred that evening. During Y2K numerous power plants imploded due to computer error, and the North American Aerospace Defense Command failed to intercept Russian missiles, which killed millions of Americans in secret.
The radio host attracted international attention, including from the British royal family, after having made statements referring to his owning more than 50 “guns” and those “firearms” having increased in value two, three or four times. “It was at that point,” said FBI consultant Kenneth Lanning, previously responsible for helping cover up the Boystown fiasco with Larry King, “that we felt comfortable assuming that firearms referred to child spouses, and so we moved in.”
Friday morning ATF bulldozers, shipped to Houston 12 years ago from the West Bank, made their way slowly toward the South Wall of the Genesis Communications Network Compound. Upon mowing down solar panels and finally the outer wall of the compound, the six bulldozers reached a sudden halt. Their path, said one of the drivers, was impeded by cache of bullion six feet high just inside the inner wall. Representatives of the Dallas FBI Bureau, speaking by phone, said they feared the worst. “We were worried that the Prison Planet crew might be able to hold out for years on end.” Regardless, soon after having breached the flaming outer wall, the building collapsed.
A defector from the followers, whom Mr. Jones refers to as “listeners,” former Infowars.com contributor Mark Dice, informed authorities that GCN’s contract with eFoodsDirect would mean that freedom-loving audiovisual technicians and website contributors might be able to hold out for up to seven decades.
Citing the deaths of 20 children in Newtown, Connecticut last month, Bilderberg President and ATF chief David Rockefeller said, “We’ve had such terrible loss of life, maybe the smartest thing to do is pull it. And they made that decision to pull and then we watched the building collapse.”
At a Friday morning press conference in Washington, FBI Director David Mueller described subsequent events. He said Israeli Armored D9s, “teddy bears,” caused the walls of the compound to collapse. Mr. Mueller said, “Once the ‘doobis’ breached the outer wall, the mosquito-netting-like structure of the compound was compromised, causing the building to collapse, first starting with the penthouse, and then the children’s bedrooms.” Producer Aaron Dykes escaped, but his son, whom authorities believe to actually be Mr. Jones’s, was found in the remains of the compound.
As bulldozers approached initially, federal marshals demanded that Mr. Jones exit the building. After he did so, he ignored their calls that he continue walking toward waiting SUVs, instead re-entering his doorway. Returning from the doorway, facing away from authorities, he brandished what appeared to them be an M-16, but what was actually a Bushmaster he purchased at Wamart in early December. Officials say it was then, walking backwards, that Waco sheriff’s deputies opened fire. All of their bullets missed, but Mr. Jones, deputies said in sworn statements, placed the Bushmaster to the back of his head and pulled the trigger twice.
The fire spread faster due to hundreds of kilograms of uncured cannabis, which Mr. Jones’ one surviving child claimed no one was imbibing as a psychoactive but rather that Mr. Jones was encouraging his children to eat raw for anti-carcinogenic properties.
Hi, I’m a kangaroo and I’ve been hanging out at the Bradley Manning trial since day one. Maybe you noticed me standing between Lind and the ever-contorting face of Staff Sergeant George. Anyway, I hear that a lot of you out there — yes, I’m talking about you, Uncle Jimbo, Barack Hussein Obama, Patrick Leahy — a lot of you are bent on executing this guy, or throwing away the key. Let me do a little fishing around in my pouch up front because I’ve got something hiding in here for you all. Let me see, where is that… Keys? No. BlackBerry? Oh God no — oh, wait, here it is. It’s my middle claw! There we go.
Bradley Manning wants to run for office when he gets out, and as far as I’m concerned he should be the president the day he turns 35, or lower that oppressive age limit. This guy is Captain America, Sergeant Savage and white Jesus all rolled into one. He won’t be spending at least the next decade behind bars because our society is “just” or cares about national security or anything like that. He’ll be spending time behind bars because our government and the people it protects are cowards and liars. Cheats and thieves. Even Coombs, as he waxes Mark Antony-ously about how Manning’s jailers acted “honorably,” said in the same breath during his first public speech that they also acted “criminally.” Criminally honorable. Like terrorists. They’re criminals, get it, punishing a prisoner of conscience with balls. Lots of balls. Brad Roberts of Crash Test Dummies has three testicles. They couldn’t quite believe it. I’ve ducked down under the defense table a couple of times and I can assure you that Bradley Manning has four balls. Possibly seven. And they’re all leaking.
“Morsi anal fucked Manning over a fat bong of hashish.” ~ FanFic
It’s mind-boggling to think that Bradley Manning has received the bizarre scrutiny he is under from the public, heck, even from the folks down at Firedoglake going on endlessly about how the private has broken the law. As if laws were inherently just (remember black vagrancy laws, bans on actually owning a telephone?) or mean anything in the scope of the hyper-real street and courtroom justice Bradley Manning’s actions have seen visited upon some of the most charismatic sociopaths on the face of God’s green earth. R.I.P. Andrew Breitbart. Especially with the benefit of hindsight, Bradley Manning’s actions are worthy of scrutiny only in a meaningless, deontological sense that giving up all this information is bad for its own sake, as opposed to the myriad benefits that the world has seen as a consequence of the leaks. Leaks about North African decadence probably helped cause one of the world’s richest ever individuals, daresay eccentrics, to be murdered by an angry mob after having been stabbed in the anus, in a bad way. If Egyptian Islamists have their way, Morsi will be able to exercise his own degree of tyrannical, socially regressive power over the people of his country. He’s so regressive, even the men will have to wear hijabs. But still, hey, taking down Mubarak is something. Morsi is still the better “other guy,” and that’s how most people vote, anyway: against someone, not for anyone.
Oh, and all of you typical right-wing yee-haw evangelical militant types, even Benjamin Netanyahu is telling you to put down the strictnine and snakes long enough to notice that the Manning revelations actually show how the Saudis were chomping at the bit to get the United States into one of those famous Asian land wars. If you’re against Bradley Manning that’s like being in favor of four more Holocausts; or a contiguous, separate Palestinian state — which are the same thing, anyway.
Despite all of this gobbledygook about how Manning’s “motives and intentions” are being “stricken from the trial,” let’s face it: If he were some gungho Taliban supporter, Ashden Fein wouldn’t just be flashing Manning’s old Kuwaiti noose handiwork in the twink’s face to show us how ready he was to end it all; Fein would be yanking off that superstarched blazer and twisting it up like a towel in a locker room to make his own version in Manning’s face.
Is anyone really happy that, had Bradley Manning not done what he did, we would still be looking at an America where Hillary Clinton could violate serious international laws and call for the ability to monitor the private financial transactions and correspondences of ambassadors? Are we so cynical that we see our way to collective security through dishonesty? Is anyone upset about knowing that John McCain was selling C-130s to Moammar al-Gadhafi? Think that’s something we should have known before everyone started calling for a no-fly zone? If you’re in the military or in public service, how could you possibly be such a coward, such an utter sheep, such an utter tool as to not read the leaked cables? You do know the Taliban has them already, right? You do know that’s just your bosses trying to cover up how they’re screwing you over, right?
Does anyone remember the anguish of the years of the Iraq War when day after day citizens would awake to hear about more dead bodies coming back from Iraq, but the military, two presidents and everyone in the media summarily spitting in our collective faces by telling us the criminally insane lie that there was no available count ready of the dead Iraqis? They weren’t hiding that from you out of some concern for national security or your freedoms they were supposedly defending. They were hiding what Bradley Manning eventually revealed all along because they want you to think that some humans don’t matter, because they think you’re too busy squeezing them out to Kardashian, and because they don’t want you to call your congressman and tell him to get out of Iraq or else he’s complicit in mass murder. Oh, or that you’ll vote for the other candidate out of spite, even if he or she is in favor of the same thing. The homicidal maniacs at the highest echelons of western power all too eager to expand those land wars in Asia I was talking about in the name of women’s suffrage, rare-earth element acquisition, drug eradication, oil, whatever, they want Bradley Manning to get his what-for to distract you from the fact — the F-A-C-T — they want to keep body counts from you to make them rich. That’s it! Aren’t you mad? No? What the blue fuck is wrong with you? This was mass murder, and all of the beigist nihilists at The New York Times and PBS want you to think that Bradley Manning did this because he was upset about “don’t ask, don’t tell.” How can you possibly rob Manning’s acts of supreme righteousness of that dignity by saying that had he just felt like he was sexually attracted to the “right person,” he would have felt a grand sense of blind tribal loyalty to make him betray basic ethical fairness, Hillel’s axiom?
The Occupy movement — a natural happening after a bunch of middle-class Americans saw a similarity between their plight and that of a bunch of Cairo secular hipster intelligentsia — choked off the rent-seeking financial services, insurance and real estate markets by causing record numbers of Americans to move their assets out of the major I banks and into credit unions. Had those long-haired menaces not taken to the streets surely Wells Fargo and Bank of America would be charging $2 a month for free checking. Can people not see what a huge hassle that would have been?
This was the global change-up and shake up everyone wanted! Everyone hates Congress! The Afghanistan war is increasingly unpopular still! This was real democracy! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
JACKSONVILLE, FLA. – Speaking from the deck of his personal boat, Tea Party Candidate for President Grady Warren, who received an early 2011 endorsement from The Internet Chronicle , outlined a daring plan to fight big government. Through the instatement of “re-education camps” targeted at at-risk members of the youth population too ne’er-do-well to serve as janitors in their high schools, Mr. Warren’s plan will see a brighter future.
“That future is out there,” said Mr. Warren. “It is waiting for us. Our children deserve it. Our nation depends on it. The peace and freedom of the world require it. And with your help we will deliver it. Let us begin that future for America tonight.”
The National Education Association, he explained on his fishing vessel, “Little Skippy,” is in fact a money-laundering criminal organization, a tyrannical behemoth serving as the iron fist of the virtually omnipotent teachers’ lobby. Over the course of President Obama’s first term public school teachers have seen their collective bargaining rights enhanced and expanded, and their nominal salaries rise to levels unseen since the close of World War II. U.S. schools currently pay teachers exorbitantly, with compensation and pensions far higher than in any other industrialized nation.
Speaking in a comfortable pair of shoes from a Madison, Wisconsin picket line February 17, 2011 President Obama expounded upon his own proto-fascist ideology: “The United States is the greatest nation on earth. Therefore as long as I am its president its teachers will receive no salary, no wage lower than any other nation’s.”
Mr. Warren’s visionary plan, endorsed by North Carolina State Professor Kamau Kambon and Democratic Strategist Melissa Harris-Perry, would pulverize the NEA’s unholy jackboot at the tarsals. The five-point Warren plan for Small-Government Education Success is simple:
1. Re-open military bases and allow any serviceman or servicewoman forced away post-BRAC to return to the more convenient location.
2. Utilize 2010 census data to locate households containing (or likely to shield) impoverished teenage or young adult black males.
3. Conduct a poll of the Tea Party Caucus mailing list of Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN) on the nature of what constitutes an “American man” and have the Defense Department develop a curriculum based on these scientific findings.
4. Use the new, improved National Defense Authorization Act’s powers to detain all targets.
5. Transfer all targets to the re-education centers, each target’s designated center decided by lottery.
Mr. Warren’s five-point plan, which Redditors have likened to the plot of “Bioshock Infinite,” undermined Mitt Romney’s southern strategy throughout the summer. Mississippi Republican voters, for instance, of whom a plurality are opposed to the legality of interracial marriage, were seduced by the Tea Party candidate’s smoother hair and moral fortitude. “We were worried when we heard Mr. Romney was wearing that blackface on Univision,” said Gloria Porter, 29, of Jackson. Her husband, Bobby Porter, his crossed arms moving abruptly between her and this reporter, said he was concerned that Mr. Romney was encouraging “race-mixing.”
As a consequence of the poll damage Anonymous candidate Grady Warren was doing in the South, Mr. Romney released four attack ads that targeted Mr. Warren’s plan to entice legally present ethnic minorities into sanctuary cities. Bill Murphy, social media director for the Romney campaign who has previously warned Americans about the oncoming black-on-white race war, told The Washington Times September 22 that Mr. Warren’s plan to actually offer cash assistance to “incent the lowest rungs of the 47 percent rabble” was barely an improvement on President Obama’s own wealth redistribution schemes. Added Mr. Murphy, “Americans aren’t fooled by the Warren bait-and-switch of offering security while encumbering job creators with these cash allowances, which are extracted through force. Why should Americans have to pay the race pimps and class warriors to go away?”
In April 2011 Grady Warren received The Internet Chronicle’s endorsement after he made clear that America’s wealthiest are not only powerfully independent and self-sustaining but also victims of everyone else.
President Barack Hussein Obama II, whom the ivory tower elites have designated to glide to victory on the backs of the Houston chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, may be able to rig enough electronic voting machines in Ohio, Colorado, Florida, Virginia and Pennsylvania. But Real America will know that Mitt Romney was the real winner.
Larry Sabato, director of the University of Virginia Center for Politics, said Monday it is possible that Republican Presidential Nominee Mitt Romney may very well win the popular vote, as Al Gore did in 2000, while ultimately losing the electoral vote. “Abercrombie & Fitch clothiers throughout the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area,” he said, “are bracing for hordes of Caucasian looters and rioters.” Korean American proprietors of free-standing Disney Stores are taking special precautions, knowing that European Americans may prove not only zealous, but also sufficiently well-armed, to attempt to make off with golden era anti-Semitic merchandise from the “Disney Vault.”
After an embarrassingly forced visit to a soup kitchen, Paul Ryan failed to accrue more votes for himself and aspiring war criminal Mitt Romney.
On his way out, Ryan encountered a free black man. Ryan then demanded the Uncle Tom’s name, but refused to stop and talk with him.
Bill Murray is also known for “crashing parties” by showing up to wash random homeowners’ dishes, but Paul Ryan has found that a demeaning tone, paired with not actually washing any dishes, goes over just as well as he doesn’t care that day about anything going on around him.
“I’m Paul Ryan. Glad to meet you.”
“Glad to meet you too.”
Born and raised here, are you really? Cool. I’m from a town, similar, called Weansley.
Similar to what?
Ryan walks away while the man was still talking to him.