Bradley Manning should be President of the World

Hi, I’m a kangaroo and I’ve been hanging out at the Bradley Manning trial since day one. Maybe you noticed me standing between Lind and the ever-contorting face of Staff Sergeant George. Anyway, I hear that a lot of you out there — yes, I’m talking about you, Uncle Jimbo, Barack Hussein Obama, Patrick Leahy — a lot of you are bent on executing this guy, or throwing away the key. Let me do a little fishing around in my pouch up front because I’ve got something hiding in here for you all. Let me see, where is that… Keys? No. BlackBerry? Oh God no — oh, wait, here it is. It’s my middle claw! There we go.
Bradley Manning wants to run for office when he gets out, and as far as I’m concerned he should be the president the day he turns 35, or lower that oppressive age limit. This guy is Captain America, Sergeant Savage and white Jesus all rolled into one. He won’t be spending at least the next decade behind bars because our society is “just” or cares about national security or anything like that. He’ll be spending time behind bars because our government and the people it protects are cowards and liars. Cheats and thieves. Even Coombs, as he waxes Mark Antony-ously about how Manning’s jailers acted “honorably,” said in the same breath during his first public speech that they also acted “criminally.” Criminally honorable. Like terrorists. They’re criminals, get it, punishing a prisoner of conscience with balls. Lots of balls. Brad Roberts of Crash Test Dummies has three testicles. They couldn’t quite believe it. I’ve ducked down under the defense table a couple of times and I can assure you that Bradley Manning has four balls. Possibly seven. And they’re all leaking.
[pullquote]“Morsi anal fucked Manning over a fat bong of hashish.” ~ FanFic[/pullquote]It’s mind-boggling to think that Bradley Manning has received the bizarre scrutiny he is under from the public, heck, even from the folks down at Firedoglake going on endlessly about how the private has broken the law. As if laws were inherently just (remember black vagrancy laws, bans on actually owning a telephone?) or mean anything in the scope of the hyper-real street and courtroom justice Bradley Manning’s actions have seen visited upon some of the most charismatic sociopaths on the face of God’s green earth. R.I.P. Andrew Breitbart. Especially with the benefit of hindsight, Bradley Manning’s actions are worthy of scrutiny only in a meaningless, deontological sense that giving up all this information is bad for its own sake, as opposed to the myriad benefits that the world has seen as a consequence of the leaks. Leaks about North African decadence probably helped cause one of the world’s richest ever individuals, daresay eccentrics, to be murdered by an angry mob after having been stabbed in the anus, in a bad way. If Egyptian Islamists have their way, Morsi will be able to exercise his own degree of tyrannical, socially regressive power over the people of his country. He’s so regressive, even the men will have to wear hijabs. But still, hey, taking down Mubarak is something. Morsi is still the better “other guy,” and that’s how most people vote, anyway: against someone, not for anyone.
Oh, and all of you typical right-wing yee-haw evangelical militant types, even Benjamin Netanyahu is telling you to put down the strictnine and snakes long enough to notice that the Manning revelations actually show how the Saudis were chomping at the bit to get the United States into one of those famous Asian land wars. If you’re against Bradley Manning that’s like being in favor of four more Holocausts; or a contiguous, separate Palestinian state — which are the same thing, anyway.
Despite all of this gobbledygook about how Manning’s “motives and intentions” are being “stricken from the trial,” let’s face it: If he were some gungho Taliban supporter, Ashden Fein wouldn’t just be flashing Manning’s old Kuwaiti noose handiwork in the twink’s face to show us how ready he was to end it all; Fein would be yanking off that superstarched blazer and twisting it up like a towel in a locker room to make his own version in Manning’s face.
Is anyone really happy that, had Bradley Manning not done what he did, we would still be looking at an America where Hillary Clinton could violate serious international laws and call for the ability to monitor the private financial transactions and correspondences of ambassadors? Are we so cynical that we see our way to collective security through dishonesty? Is anyone upset about knowing that John McCain was selling C-130s to Moammar al-Gadhafi? Think that’s something we should have known before everyone started calling for a no-fly zone? If you’re in the military or in public service, how could you possibly be such a coward, such an utter sheep, such an utter tool as to not read the leaked cables? You do know the Taliban has them already, right? You do know that’s just your bosses trying to cover up how they’re screwing you over, right?
Does anyone remember the anguish of the years of the Iraq War when day after day citizens would awake to hear about more dead bodies coming back from Iraq, but the military, two presidents and everyone in the media summarily spitting in our collective faces by telling us the criminally insane lie that there was no available count ready of the dead Iraqis? They weren’t hiding that from you out of some concern for national security or your freedoms they were supposedly defending. They were hiding what Bradley Manning eventually revealed all along because they want you to think that some humans don’t matter, because they think you’re too busy squeezing them out to Kardashian, and because they don’t want you to call your congressman and tell him to get out of Iraq or else he’s complicit in mass murder. Oh, or that you’ll vote for the other candidate out of spite, even if he or she is in favor of the same thing. The homicidal maniacs at the highest echelons of western power all too eager to expand those land wars in Asia I was talking about in the name of women’s suffrage, rare-earth element acquisition, drug eradication, oil, whatever, they want Bradley Manning to get his what-for to distract you from the fact — the F-A-C-T — they want to keep body counts from you to make them rich. That’s it! Aren’t you mad? No? What the blue fuck is wrong with you? This was mass murder, and all of the beigist nihilists at The New York Times and PBS want you to think that Bradley Manning did this because he was upset about “don’t ask, don’t tell.” How can you possibly rob Manning’s acts of supreme righteousness of that dignity by saying that had he just felt like he was sexually attracted to the “right person,” he would have felt a grand sense of blind tribal loyalty to make him betray basic ethical fairness, Hillel’s axiom?
The Occupy movement — a natural happening after a bunch of middle-class Americans saw a similarity between their plight and that of a bunch of Cairo secular hipster intelligentsia — choked off the rent-seeking financial services, insurance and real estate markets by causing record numbers of Americans to move their assets out of the major I banks and into credit unions. Had those long-haired menaces not taken to the streets surely Wells Fargo and Bank of America would be charging $2 a month for free checking. Can people not see what a huge hassle that would have been?
This was the global change-up and shake up everyone wanted! Everyone hates Congress! The Afghanistan war is increasingly unpopular still! This was real democracy! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

Atheists are the best Christians

Christians, Jews, and Muslims have been completely butthurt about science for thousands of years — ever since they combined history and mythology like some kind of postmodern parody. Atheists, weeping and gnashing their teeth about how irrational this idiocy all is, are perhaps even more butthurt. So-called rational Atheists take the mythology even more literally than many Christians, and in some kind of more-rational-than-thou dissonance, struggle to disprove metaphorical stories as if that will bring sanity to the insane. The true christian, capable of the terrible task of extracting, assimilating, and relating to the archaic lessons out of these ancient traditions, must have a tendency towards atheism beyond that shown by this common type of Atheist.

The common Atheist talks about nature, and their MRI brain scans look just like a devoted Christian walking through the Pearly Gates of the local snake-handler den. It’s so crass to make nature into a transcendent man like God, but that was cutting-edge science thousands of years ago. People saw the stars go through their yearly cycles, recognized the underlying math, and it followed that some man was up there making rules and they should make like him. Now we know a bit more about these rules, and we know the truly pathetic scale of humankind. These rules are far beyond us, and although we’re immanent, we’re probably not created in the image of some megadude with too much time on his hands. Science won’t let us rule this possibility out yet, but it doesn’t seem like the most likely place to start with for creating relevant stories to help us understand this scary place where we don’t actually have a daddy handing us stone tablets with moral codes.

Who gives a shit if Jesus was real, made-up, or raped little boys? He’s only important as some kind of exemplary character in a morality play, and if you have to really believe he was a historic figure then you’ve got weak-ass faith that’s not worth half a shit and will only serve to turn you into some hollowed, hateful rulemonger like Sean Hannity.  The same goes for Atheists who treat science in the same way. Sure, these are real rules of nature that are being revealed and refined, or at least that’s how the scientific method postures, but what kind of a hateful fuck goes around telling people how to behave based on the theory of evolution? “Yeah, we need to weed out those retards, gays, and Jews because we totally know exactly how evolution works,” said the fuck who escalated this debate to Godwin’s Law.

Now that I’ve God-Winned, I can move on to the meat. I ain’t even sayin’ that there’s some magic essence in Christian legends that must be distilled and updated to match science. Even then, common Atheists would scoff at these stories — “As if my life needs guidance from stories, I’ve got science!” Then, they’d settle into the couch and receive hours of “factual” news and “fictional” scifi miniseries only to call it a night after a quick orgasm. The common Atheism I’m describing here isn’t just a disbelief in God, but rather a lameass attitude which rejects all mystery. “We’ve got it figured out, we’re figuring it out, and we will figure it all out.” So, in one sense these kinds of Atheists are the best Christians. If you look at their attitude, it runs a perfect parallel. “My cosmogony is better than yours,” does not translate into more-rational-than-thou. The attitude is precisely the same insanity on masquerade.

Conversely, the good atheists are quite the same as the good christians. They’re atheists now, simply because they accept mystery. The christians are christians now because they explore their inner mysteries through helpful stories, no matter how archaic and outmoded. Again, but in a totally new sense, the atheists are the best christians. The bible is a gateway to mysteries for the atheist christian and not a cheat-sheet full of answers.

In Daring Election Day Pitch, Anonymous Presidential Endorsee Warren Grady Promotes TEAHAD Re-education Camps

JACKSONVILLE, FLA. – Speaking from the deck of his personal boat, Tea Party Candidate for President Grady Warren, who received an early 2011 endorsement from The Internet Chronicle , outlined a daring plan to fight big government. Through the instatement of “re-education camps” targeted at at-risk members of the youth population too ne’er-do-well to serve as janitors in their high schools, Mr. Warren’s plan will see a brighter future.

“That future is out there,” said Mr. Warren. “It is waiting for us. Our children deserve it. Our nation depends on it. The peace and freedom of the world require it. And with your help we will deliver it. Let us begin that future for America tonight.”

The National Education Association, he explained on his fishing vessel, “Little Skippy,” is in fact a money-laundering criminal organization, a tyrannical behemoth serving as the iron fist of the virtually omnipotent teachers’ lobby. Over the course of President Obama’s first term public school teachers have seen their collective bargaining rights enhanced and expanded, and their nominal salaries rise to levels unseen since the close of World War II. U.S. schools currently pay teachers exorbitantly, with compensation and pensions far higher than in any other industrialized nation.

Speaking in a comfortable pair of shoes from a Madison, Wisconsin picket line February 17, 2011 President Obama expounded upon his own proto-fascist ideology: “The United States is the greatest nation on earth. Therefore as long as I am its president its teachers will receive no salary, no wage lower than any other nation’s.”

Mr. Warren’s visionary plan, endorsed by North Carolina State Professor Kamau Kambon and Democratic Strategist Melissa Harris-Perry, would pulverize the NEA’s unholy jackboot at the tarsals. The five-point Warren plan for Small-Government Education Success is simple:

1. Re-open military bases and allow any serviceman or servicewoman forced away post-BRAC to return to the more convenient location.
2. Utilize 2010 census data to locate households containing (or likely to shield) impoverished teenage or young adult black males.
3. Conduct a poll of the Tea Party Caucus mailing list of Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN) on the nature of what constitutes an “American man” and have the Defense Department develop a curriculum based on these scientific findings.
4. Use the new, improved National Defense Authorization Act’s powers to detain all targets.
5. Transfer all targets to the re-education centers, each target’s designated center decided by lottery.

Mr. Warren’s five-point plan, which Redditors have likened to the plot of “Bioshock Infinite,” undermined Mitt Romney’s southern strategy throughout the summer. Mississippi Republican voters, for instance, of whom a plurality are opposed to the legality of interracial marriage, were seduced by the Tea Party candidate’s smoother hair and moral fortitude. “We were worried when we heard Mr. Romney was wearing that blackface on Univision,” said Gloria Porter, 29, of Jackson. Her husband, Bobby Porter, his crossed arms moving abruptly between her and this reporter, said he was concerned that Mr. Romney was encouraging “race-mixing.”

As a consequence of the poll damage Anonymous candidate Grady Warren was doing in the South, Mr. Romney released four attack ads that targeted Mr. Warren’s plan to entice legally present ethnic minorities into sanctuary cities. Bill Murphy, social media director for the Romney campaign who has previously warned Americans about the oncoming black-on-white race war, told The Washington Times September 22 that Mr. Warren’s plan to actually offer cash assistance to “incent the lowest rungs of the 47 percent rabble” was barely an improvement on President Obama’s own wealth redistribution schemes. Added Mr. Murphy, “Americans aren’t fooled by the Warren bait-and-switch of offering security while encumbering job creators with these cash allowances, which are extracted through force. Why should Americans have to pay the race pimps and class warriors to go away?”

In April 2011 Grady Warren received The Internet Chronicle’s endorsement after he made clear that America’s wealthiest are not only powerfully independent and self-sustaining but also victims of everyone else.

President Barack Hussein Obama II, whom the ivory tower elites have designated to glide to victory on the backs of the Houston chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, may be able to rig enough electronic voting machines in Ohio, Colorado, Florida, Virginia and Pennsylvania. But Real America will know that Mitt Romney was the real winner.

Larry Sabato, director of the University of Virginia Center for Politics, said Monday it is possible that Republican Presidential Nominee Mitt Romney may very well win the popular vote, as Al Gore did in 2000, while ultimately losing the electoral vote. “Abercrombie & Fitch clothiers throughout the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area,” he said, “are bracing for hordes of Caucasian looters and rioters.” Korean American proprietors  of free-standing Disney Stores are taking special precautions, knowing that European Americans may prove not only zealous, but also sufficiently well-armed, to attempt to make off with golden era anti-Semitic merchandise from the “Disney Vault.”

Paul Ryan washes dishes at Ohio soup kitchen and hurries out

Paul Ryan meets free black man

Paul Ryan seen addressing a free black man.

After an embarrassingly forced visit to a soup kitchen, Paul Ryan failed to accrue more votes for himself and aspiring war criminal Mitt Romney.

On his way out, Ryan encountered a free black man. Ryan then demanded the Uncle Tom’s name, but refused to stop and talk with him.

Bill Murray is also known for “crashing parties” by showing up to wash random homeowners’ dishes, but Paul Ryan has found that a demeaning tone, paired with not actually washing any dishes, goes over just as well as he doesn’t care that day about anything going on around him.

“I’m Paul Ryan. Glad to meet you.”

“Glad to meet you too.”

Born and raised here, are you really? Cool. I’m from a town, similar, called Weansley.

Similar to what?

Ryan walks away while the man was still talking to him.

No trespassing.

The Evil Hierarchy of Reddit Moderators

Reddit Moderator

Increasingly, all people are being turned into objects. This is more than a gender issue. This is the death of the Subject. Nobody has truly come to grips with the horrible alienation of Social Media. On r/creepshots, people have entered a sick feedback loop that we all know ends with ragdoll porn and sex doll necrorape fantasy. Sure it’s legal, but so is investigating the identities of the people who moderate it.[pullquote]“What kind of person would want to sit around and moderate Reddit all day?” ~ Viciously Raped Sex Doll[/pullquote]

Adrian Chen is a dickhead who constantly steals his ideas from Chronicle.SU, and Gawker is a piece-of-shit tabloid, but Violentacrez, a person who didn’t even take elementary precautions to protect his identity, cannot be doxed. Just because he’s your friend and he’s being attacked by a tabloid doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice the freedom of speech.

In this day and age it’s so common for meaning to be inverted by a small group of people who control media. Just look at the way Christians claim that abortion is an affront to religious freedom. Censoring Gawker in the name of freedom of speech is the same thing. Your bff, Violentacrez, might have been unfairly treated by someone trolling for tabloid hits, but is the answer really abusing your power to censor an entire media outlet? Why’d you even bother with the SOPA blackout?

I’ve had my run-ins with Reddit Moderators in the past. In fact, Chronicle.SU is banned from r/politics. By banning Gawker, a small group of people have ONCE AGAIN proven they are merciless tyrants.

 

Brown Taken Down

BARRETT BROWN, ANONYMOUS GATEKEEPER

Barrett Frowns

Self-appointed, self-medicating “leader of Anonymous” Barrett Brown was heard struggling against intruders Wednesday, hump day, September 12. Sources confirmed Thursday morning Brown is sitting in a Dallas jail.

Brown’s credibility came under scrutiny after Kilgore Trout tricked Brown into believing he was actually talking to Amber Lyon, a dipshit CNN correspondent. Brown subsequently accused Trout via Twitter of having sex with his girlfriend marking a gradual, but distinct dissolution of sanity and reason which ultimately led Brown to make threats against FBI agents, presumably prompting the raid.

Wednesday’s raid signifies the last nail in the crystal coffin of Brown’s otherwise transient career. Brown was recently heard ranting against all things in a telephone call with Topiary, the actual leader of anonymous. Brown has also appeared in videos making delusional claims provoked by unseen sources of paranoia.

Barrett Brown is the glorified blogger who once belonged to the underground hacker group Anonymous and, for a while, got to decide who gets to join anonymous and who does not. Chronicle.su, he said, is not anonymous, like himself, Barrett Brown – or similarly, Sabu.

Brown, below, threatens the FBI with an ultimatum


Brown describes the purpose of Project PM to be “wiping out this fucking government” and “certain media publications” (chronicle.su maybe? We definitely know he means the NY Times)

Sources discuss chronicle.su and make threats against her glorious staff of anti-leaders

DonaldRumsfeld is legit

Frank Mason to leave chronicle.su forever

Why? Why is chronicle.su this hateful black enterprise I can not even stand to look at anymore?
Why do I no longer like this place?

Seriously, I’m about to pull a Geo because there are just too many bad vibes around this hate hole. I’m sending up a distress flare because I don’t know what else to do anymore. I’m no longer funny, this website isn’t funny, we are just hurtful abusive people with no respect for dead children or their grieving families.

I used to think chronicle.su was a bottomless source of ironic lies but now I’m not so confident in that assertion. Sure, there are 35 people staring at DEAD LIL WAYNE at any given moment, but it’s not like they can read anyway or else they would already know he is “alive,” whatever you take that to mean . . . But I’m not talking about just trying to make the a sound for apple and pronouncing cat, but really reading – and comprehending – the world around them.

Literate individuals don’t fall for LIL WAYNE DEAD and park on the webpage all day, and spread it around without checking other sources. Okay, dying AIDS-infected Africans were crossing the Sahara to register their grievances at the metropolis internet cafe. So what chronicle.su has proven to me in the last nine months is worse than anything I could have ever imagined without performing this experiment for myself:

1. There are more stupid people than statistics could possibly account for, and yet I’m astounded by the numbers.

Akon DEAD Lil Wayne DEAD Lady GaGa BRAIN CANCER ALL DEAD

It took “readers” an average of almost three minutes to determine how their favorite rapper actually died of AIDS before anyone knew he contracted it.

2. I am a toxin. If there’s anybody I can think of besides our last fourteen presidents who deserves brain cancer, it’s Lady GaGa for making anti-intellectualism appear sexy and appealing, and yet I am the one who made people cry announcing she has brain cancer.

But since I did it anyway, check out this video of the some little girl freaking out about it or something. Or don’t. Just go the fuck away now.

Lady Gaga! She wants to be like you when she grows up. A vapid, expressionless sellout! GOOD WORK, WHORE.

Nothing is funny anymore. Nothing is surprising. Anonymous is dead, and even that is kind of sad because it was so funny to watch internet losers migrate the handle from DDoSing Hal Turner, to blocking up a fake swimming pool in Habbo Hotel, to Scientology, and all the way back around again to DDoSing bank websites before finally getting arrested en masse. Yummy yummy honeypotty! Now we’re wasted, now we’re screwed. Now I’m bored. So what the fuck is next?

ANSWER: I don’t give a shit. I am going to lay it all right out for you. I know by now we have some fans (people who hate us are “fans,” too, by the way) and for some reason you keep coming back here to see if I replied to your meaningless comments, to see if your shitty, grammatical atrocities are making a difference on my own fake opinion (they don’t), because you might feel that you’ve somehow caused a tree to fall in the forest – and for everybody who heard it, no one paid attention. Not even me. Especially not me. And I am writing now to inform you– no, to ask of you– no . . . I am just writing. And that’s how it’s going to be. That’s what I’m laying down.

[pullquote]

I’m a cunt sliver . . .

Frank Mason

[/pullquote]

If you ever once came to this website and thought I was writing to you, for you, about you – even if I was – I don’t want your feedback. I’m a cunt sliver away from turning off all the comments, globally, and firing material into your blank eyes with NO POSSIBLE RECOURSE. ZERO. Because I’m tired of you. I’m tired of the pressure. I’m tired of this broken, hateful website, and I’m tired, most of all, of hating this place I (ironically) designed to be hated.

I’m DONE with it. I’m done with you festering, stinking maggots who sallow each article. I’m done with your cute usernames, multiple IP addresses, multiple fucking usernames, and every combination inbetween. I’m done with your tired little surmises. I’m done with your discussions. I’m done with the chat room, the radio show, and most importantly – in case I haven’t yet made it clear – I’m done with you.

FUCK THE READERSHIP. ALL OF YOU. MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS, MY LANDLORD – ESPECIALLY MY LANDLORD, HE IS A THIEVING CHARLATAN like the readers. I DON’T GIVE A FLYING HAT TRICK WHO YOU ARE. I AM FINISHED WITH ALL OF IT, AND THIS WEBSITE.

Stay tuned for my absence.

Frank Mason is gone.

Funeral for the myth

Excerpt from Georges Sorel’s Wikipedia:

Sorel’s was a voluntarist Marxism: he rejected those Marxists who believed in inevitable and evolutionary change, emphasizing instead the importance of will and preferring direct action. These approaches included general strikes, boycotts, and constant disruption of capitalism with the goal being to achieve worker control over the means of production. Sorel’s belief in the need for a deliberately-conceived “myth” to sway crowds into concerted action was put into practice by mass fascist movements in the 1920s. The epistemic status of the idea of “myth” is of some importance, and is essentially that of a working hypothesis, with one fundamental peculiarity: it is an hypothesis which we do not judge by its closeness to a “Truth”, but by the practical consequences which stem from it. Thus, whether a political myth is of some importance or not must be decided, in Sorel’s view, on the basis of its capacity to mobilize human beings into political action; the only possible way for men to ascend to an ethical life filled by the character of the sublime and to achieve deliverance. Sorel believed the “energizing myth” of the general strike would serve to enforce solidarity, class consciousness and revolutionary élan amongst the working-class. The “myth” that the fascists would appeal to, however, was that of the race, nation, or people, as represented by the state.

Clearly, Occupy and Anonymous have enacted a myth in which a powerless government works under the yoke of a global corporate conspiracy to suppress 99% of the population while 1% lives in opulence. The not-so powerless “police state” is tracking all Internet communications globally and has virtual omnipresence, omniscience, and omnipotence. The core of this myth is that Democracy is dead, otherwise there would be no need for direct action. Chomsky, a stolid supporter, often describes this myth as “imagery.” It doesn’t do to tell a believer that, no, there is actually a much more complicated set of circumstances behind the perceived decay of American culture and economy, and the death of Democracy is only a part of a myth meant to bring about a global revolution.

Before going further, it’s helpful to take a look at another end of the “myth spectrum,” where America is the final bastion of freedom under constant threat of attack from government over-regulation, Mexican immigration, and Islamic terror. Quite obviously, this is much closer to the kind of myth fascists like Mussolini and Hitler employed. On the surface, this myth portrays a valorous Democracy standing in defiance to the forces of evil and terror, yet the siren call of its greatest adherents is really a funeral dirge for a Democracy that is already dead and must be revived through the act of voting.

This is not the world of Sorel or Mussolini, and there is not the same kind of disenfranchised laborers facing down despicable conditions imposed upon them by corporate overlords. Discontent, as expressed by Occupy and Anonymous, flows much more from a generalized feeling of dissatisfaction with simulacra than it does from actual economic repression. This manifests itself through wide-ranging general complaints against everything from environmental degradation to military imperialism, but it really flows from the culture’s inability to deal with media which presents increasingly falsified versions of reality.

The failure of Occupy to actualize the mythical revolution might be answered by Sorel with an adapted myth. Taking the successful twist employed by the right which promotes voting, even in the face of a “dead” Democracy, however, might require abandonment of the idea of revolution. Ideas, however, are plastic. Portraying voting as a truly revolutionary act, within the confines of the two-party system, is somewhat problematic, but not impossible to overcome. These confines, in any adapted myth, should be obliterated by new technology. The power of Social Media to draw huge amounts of publicity to those with no real financial backing is intensely important, potentially lending power to those who are not a part of either party.

But still, that is all a ridiculous dance in the world of fairy tales and simulacra. What is really needed is fundamental education about the myth itself. This is not just education, but meta-education. Not simply a prophylactic against misinformation and disinformation, as these are truly all that exists, but rather a collective self-awareness. It is not enough to know the way a politician will spin a yarn, or the way media will frame in bias. By self-awareness, I mean complete understanding that these are things we do ourselves, personally, every time we speak. To put the tendency for myth making on the “other” is yet another myth prone to all the grave consequences of violent Fascism. In short, Sorel’s view of the myth as the only way to inflict “ethical life” on the other is itself a myth.

RI State Rep. Dan Gordon (R) promotes cyberattack on “Supreme Court”

Tweetspeak Translation: The Supreme Court of the United States has been knocked offline by Anonymous because of its decision on the Affordable Care Act, and Representative Dan Gordon has a raging hard-on because of it.

Thursday, the Supreme Court ruled that most provisions of the Affordable Care Act were constitutional, as the controversial “individual mandate” fell under the power of Congress to levy a tax. Apopleptic critics such as State Representative Dan Gordon got on Twitter to vent their frustrations and put their big stinkin’ feet right into their big stinkin’ mouths.

However, that cliched metaphor doesn’t quite capture The Dan Gordon’s fecal mouthful. As a State Representative, no one really cares, and he has gotten away with worse multiple times. Known for Stolen Valor, Homophobia, Drunk Driving, Assault and Battery, and his affiliation with Anonymous, The Rep Dan is now known for his stark gullibility and abject failure at understanding the most basic workings of the Internet.

In the heat of The Dan Gordon’s rage over the Supreme Court decision, @YourAnonInc, a terribly obvious parody account openly controlled by Chronicle.SU, tweeted the following: “@RepDanGordon http://supremecourt.us  ‪#TangoDown‬ Join ‪#OpLiberty‬ Please RT ‪#Anonymous‬.” Dan’s response was a hasty retweet followed by an independent endorsement of the ongoing “operation.” There’s a lot of jargon here that might not make sense to those who aren’t involved in Twitter or Anonymous culture, so I’ll spell it out, especially for the Rhode Island State legislators who must be sick of this stain on their honor.

“Tango Down” is an expression popularized by “th3j35t3r,” which refers to a Distributed Denial of Service attack (DDoS), in which a web site is maliciously overloaded with traffic until it can no longer provide service. There were no DDoS attacks in response to the Supreme Court’s ruling, and http://supremecourt.us is a nonexistent web site. It is not even under the official .gov domain extension, another simple point that would have tipped off anyone with the least bit of web savvy. The hashtag #OpLiberty refers to the nonexistent group of people carrying out these nonexistent attacks on the nonexistent web site, which also serves as a hyperlink to their ongoing discussion. Had Gordon, or anyone, clicked that hyperlink, he would have instantly found that no such discussion exists.

Gordon’s incapacity to verify facts and simply use the Internet is frankly hilarious, but that’s a fairly common thing for legislators. It’s just not fair to expect people of his age to display a competent level of Internet savvy. While he does posture himself as a member of Anonymous, most have long known this to be a total front. What’s shocking is his ringing personal endorsement of what he thought was a cyberattack on the Supreme Court, the body directly responsible for ultimate interpretation of the laws he’s supposed to be legislating. It may have all been a pathetically simple ruse, but his intentions couldn’t have been more clear. Representative Dan Gordon has zero respect for the highest Judicial body in this country. Furthermore, he’d go so far as participating in attacks on their web site which, by their very nature, rely on promotion via social media.