Tragedyriffic!

WARNING: Parental Discretion IS ADVISED. THE FOLLOWING IS EXTREMELY INSENSITIVE AND SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY ANYONE, EVER. Original Tragedy graphic is Copywright Cole Hogan, 2006. Modified graphic and animation are copyright Jesus Hubert Christ, 12 AD.
(So that’s what that H stands for!)

April 17th:
that little bastard bought guns from my home town…….Cavalier, Tarheel, Captian, Turpin…..we all gotta little hokie in us this right now.”if cops eat bacon is it considered canabalism?”

If cops got to the scene of the Virginia Tech massacre and ate all the dead corpses, is it considered ‘canabalism’? NO! There’s no such thing as ‘canabalism’.

April 18th:
gone to bed, pray for our hokies, pray that is well, and pray to god that cho’s rotting in hell……….yes I meant for that to rhyme.”if cops eat bacon is it considered canabalism?”

My favorite line in that wonderful poem is “Pray that is well.”

April 19th:
for all my fellow captains, I have a new profile image on facebook that contains captain chris and the hokie bird, I”m hoping it will catch on. If you want the original jpeg to upload to your own profile, email me and I will glad you send a copy.”if cops eat bacon is it considered canabalism?”

Wanna see it? Tragilicious!

“If cops ate bacon…” remained at the end of every single one of Cole’s away messages from March 4th to October 14th, a total of 7 months and 10 days. The precise amount of time that that joke is still funny. What a great joke.

This one's on me, Roajoke.

Now, I don’t normally do this. Hell, I never do this. But if anyone’s got the right make fun of Roanoke, it’s either a current or former citizen. NOT some wackjob from Tucson, Arizona! They can’t even spell Tooson right.
Lost? You should be. Here’s the deal. Dolla Billz came across this lovely article, describing the journalistic abilities (or lack thereof) of one Jennifer Waddell, a former reporter in Roanoke. Oh, did I mention that she’s smokin hot on TV and even hotter in person? Hell, in journalism that’s like 85% of the job. Now, this article, posted by some crazed, no-life at a gay people community in Arizona, bashes Ms. Waddell for being biased and prejudice because of blah blah blah. What struck my rage vein was this quote:

“Perhaps that kind of biased and prejudicial reporting worked in Ms. Waddell’s native Roanoke, Virginia, but I hope she has learned that in Tucson it is not acceptable.”

Nah dude, I think not. Not while there is a Ronald W. Nitro on this planet will this shit fly. No one from Arizona is going to bash Roanoke nor (more importantly) Roanoke goddess, Jennifer Waddell like that. He should be thanking Heaven that she even moved out there. But that’s not my point. Point is good ol’ Kent Burbank, for mentioned douche, got a nice ragemail from me. “Will ya post it?” Pleeeeeeease. Who do you think I am? Dick Cheney?

This is in response to your lovely, childish post, “Wingspan Responds to Jennifer Waddell’s Sensationalistic Journalism.”
First of all, you need a hobby or something if a simple news story causes this type of child-like behavior, I.E. you calling for everyone to email, call, and bother her at any expense to complain. Get a life, dude.
Secondly, I’m not one hundred percent in love with the tone of this statement:
“Perhaps that kind of biased and prejudicial reporting worked in Ms. Waddell’s native Roanoke, Virginia, but I hope she has learned that in Tucson it is not acceptable. We hold our journalists to higher ethical and journalist standards.” – Yourself.
What’re you implying sir? What did Roanoke do to you? Did I miss something or is Roanoke the biased and prejudice capital of America? Do you recognize your contradiction here? You post a full article criticizing Ms. Waddell’s “prejudice” and then you lower yourself to the same level by assuming that Roanoke is a Mecca to prejudice values simply because Jennifer Waddell used to be a reporter there. Shame on you, Kent. If there was “Wingspan” type community for the citizens of Roanoke, you’d be on their list, pal! Why don’t you give me YOUR personal cell phone number so I can call and harass you for being prejudice? How’s that sound?
Two wrongs don’t make a right, you hypocrite. Just because there’s no cacti in VA doesn’t mean you have to jump to conclusions. And by the way, just for your information, I’ve met Jennifer Waddell in person when I was living in Roanoke, and she’s so beautiful that she could turn any gay guy straight. Maybe next time, open your eyes, close your ears, and please, for the internet’s sake, turn off your computer. For good. That’s all… for now.

You’re welcome.
Ronny Nitro
More on this story as it develops. Hopefully.

Bigfoot, imaginary or Communist?

Bigfoot, according to believers, would be the largest Ape known to man. How then could they elude detection for so long? How do these creatures survive without leaving a mark on the environment? The perfect answer to the Bigfoot question is beneath our noses, and has been all along. Bigfoot is a communist. Somewhere, probably in a cave, a commune of Bigfoots are leading a simple life, helping each other out, and not leaving a trace. There is just no other way that a population of enormous apes could survive in today’s world without succumbing to the evils of communism. I suggest that Bigfoot populations may actually be devolved hippie populations, which have grown hairier and smellier, and may in fact be the sole provider of drugs to America. After winning the war on drugs, how am I so blazed right now? It’s as simple as this: Bigfoot is a Communist.