Lebal Drocer CEOs asked: “Why aren’t there more broads in the workplace?”

Tiffany, from Lebal Drocer, Inc. enjoys a long, storied career answering phones, and fetching Kilgoar's coffee.
Tiffany, from Lebal Drocer, Inc. enjoys a long, storied career answering phones, and fetching Kilgoar’s coffee.

dr troubadourHi, I’m Dr. Angstrom Hire Troubledames and I am chief of human resources at the legendary chemical warfare contractor and Internet Chronicle publisher Lebal Drocer, Inc. At Lebal Drocer we specialize in putting tear gas and mustard gas into the wrong hands at the right time. Watch out Assad! The chemical monster’s comin’ to gitcha! (Just kidding. We like to have fun, here! [But seriously, watch it]).

But I come to you today with a message. Good tidings. And I’d like to extend a veiny, rock-hard olive branch to all the pretty ladies out there just looking for a job, or an excuse to leave the house.

More to the point, my bosses have been riding me like a whore four on the floor over hiring practices, and our lawyers are telling me it’s high time we show a little beaver in the workplace. So here’s my pitch (a “pitch” is when one man tries to sell his idea to another man – or, in this case – a woman):

Construction workers are often misunderstood as misogynistic, aggressive cat callers according to Lebal Drocer Ethics Board Chairman Raleigh T. Hatesec.

“In actuality,” Dr. Hatesec explained, “the men shouting from down in that hole are trying to lure more women into the workplace, where their absence is sorely frustrating.”

I get it. Sometimes while we’re driving rivets into steel, we like to be reminded it’s nice to FUCK something, so this is why I look around at the cock-worshiping, Freudian dildo cigar gauntlet that is the Lebal Drocer Tower lobby and I think, ‘Hey, you know what would look good in that corner right over there? A beautiful woman. Have her answer the phone or something.’

I went into the Yahoo! office and first thing I noticed was this beautiful blonde with big tits, dressed like she wanted it. I said ,”Now there’s a tall drink of water!” And this dame works here. I leaned into her, real close – she could smell my essence – and I said, “Hey there Sugar Tits, you got a daddy? Because Daddy’s standing right here, you feel me? ‘Cause I feel you. Now here’s 20 bucks. Buy yourself somethin’ cheap.”

The answer to the question, where are all the broads, is you, ladies. Get off your asses, quit spending your husbands’ money, and come get a job already. If you act now, and submit your little resumé to Lebal Drocer, Inc. Cuthbert, Ga. we’ll even throw in a complimentary handbag, because we know how much you like that shit.

Come get interviewed by two or three guys.
Come get interviewed by two or three guys.

16 Replies to “Lebal Drocer CEOs asked: “Why aren’t there more broads in the workplace?””

    1. oh ya would bang, 9 of out 10 if male 20’s
      ‘I don’t think any nazis are afraid to be punched.’
      I came & smoked a cigarette after.

    2. Alex Jones and Richard Spencer probably paid sympathizers/collaborators to assault them for the attention and clicks. Hell, I would to if I had thought of it first. Spencer hasn’t made a police complaint/report which speaks volumes. He made a videology talking about raising money for security. It sounds like abother wepay/crowd funding scam like theyre doing to find the assailant.
      BTW did you see the video of myself punching one of the Antifash Nazis to impress Cassandra leaving one the balls. Winning!

      1. For a writer you’re certainly an illiterate faggot, Gavin unlike me, a best selling author. I’d say go back to Canada but I am pretty sure they don’t want your altright bullshit (READ: white supremacy). @ObamaMalik on twitter is weev and company.

  1. Whore, I mean jounalist. Leak it slow baby. So how’s NYC so far, we’re so disppointed you haven’t been a victim of police misconduct yet.

  2. Navy SEAL Killed in Yemen Raid Identified – ABC News – http://abcn.ws/2kkUCczThe

    Pentagon is still assessing reports that children may have been killed in the raid, but a U.S. official said there were no internal indications that was the case.’

  3. This is the most retarded story I have ever read on the Internet and I have read some really dumb shit. This hatesec perv must be a real butt muncher and in need of some kind of therapy.
    I would stay away from this freak and keep all children as far from this fag as possible.
    Stop trying to be funny you sick fucks and just kill yourself now so we can stop waiting to read about you raping a little boy in your basement

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