Ever since the very beginning of Chronicle.SU, I have secretly issued coded orders to the highest level of Anonymous leadership. Every single article I’ve written is filled with coded messages that only they will ever decode. Every image, fake ad and hidden detail of this site is loaded with directives which have been implemented perfectly.
Through my campaigns of hatred towards the peons of Anonymous I have mobilized and educated the masses. LulzSec? My brainchild. AntiSec? My invention. I created them by giving the larger Anonymous collective criticism which they immediately went out of the way to disprove. I mocked their pitiful public relations and out sprung LulzSec. I belittled them for their pitiful fear of government servers. AntiSec was born. All the while, I fed covert and specific instructions without having to use the horribly infiltrated IRC. Excuse me for my genius.
But now those within Anonymous who I have directly led are being investigated and may already be V&. I’ve received information from my mole in the FBI that one of them was bribed and outed me. The feds are closing in and even I will soon be V&. However, not all is lost. I have hacked Barack Obama’s e-mails and will soon be leaking world-shattering information. Here’s a teaser: Extra terrestrials are real, and they are going to force us to spark a nuclear war so they can inherit the planet. Of course that’s not true, but you know what to do Sabu, Topiary and Kayla. The die has been cast.
Oh, and one final mind-fuck for you all before you decide to ignore me: I’m th3j35t3r. I’ve been holding back this bombshell since I came up with the character last year. My purpose should be fairly clear if you understand my methods. By creating such an uncool conservative n00b of a hacker celebrity, I’ve ensured a more liberal agenda within Anonymous. Hacking is cool, the j35t3r is not, and now Anonymous is extremely socialist. Long live Che.