Mike and Frank of American Pickers celebrate legal gay marriage

Mike and Frank firmly grip female busts "picked" from a "honey hole"
Mike and Frank firmly grip female busts “picked” from a “honey hole”

INTERNET — Mike and Frank of American Pickers, the world’s most popular on-screen gay couple since Laurel and Hardy, have been granted a legal marriage and plan to artificially inseminate Danielle, who will give birth to their new family. Until then, the couple are bound by their love for antiques and are fostering several children from the local orphanage.

Frank told reporters, “We are so glad to be married and we just love the kids. Now that we’re loud and proud about our love, me and Mike couldn’t be happier. We’re going to take the kids out on more picks and show them the ropes. It’s great. Just great.”

Mike, enthused as always, said, “The kids are killer. I’ve got them using their cute little charm to break the ice and talk down prices on all kinds of antiques. Especially bikes and motorcycles. You won’t believe the stuff they found.”

Si Robertson, patriarch of the Duck Dynasty reality franchise and outspoken opponent of homosexuals, told reporters, “It just ain’t right these city boys on TV rippin’ nice country folk off with their slick little talk. In my mind a faggot ain’t a gay man, a faggot is a slick city boy. I just can’t abide faggots on my TV.”

4 Replies to “Mike and Frank of American Pickers celebrate legal gay marriage”

  1. Obama, as Commander in Chief has told military brass to accept queers or step down. So far I have yet to hear of one of them stepping down on account of those particular moral convictions. Edward Snowden, Kristen Meghan, and Susan Lindauer are examples of how badly gov’t whistle-blowers are mistreated. First amendment rights have been stripped for a long time, read “Atomic Harvest”, by Anthony De Antonio.

    I don’t expect very many more will risk their necks by coming forward and the establishment’s agenda will proceed toward depopulating the planet as scheduled.

    How about those Chemtrails?

  2. This is ridiculous. Another bunch of faggots on TV I’ll never watch it again. It’s wore out anyway. Pun intended

  3. i love it and love the show i always thought they were gay, so am i guess my gaydar was working when i first watched the show best of luck to the both of you

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.