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Opinion: Reddit Moderators’ Strike veils hate-filled motivation

Chairman Pao's defense of fat people, women, and the poor is widely considered to be a "dictatorship" by true freedom-loving American Redditors.
Chairman Pao’s defense of fat people, women, and the poor is widely considered to be a “dictatorship” by true freedom-loving American Redditors.

INTERNET — Forget the backdrop of Reddit administration cracking down on hateful subreddits like ‘Fat People Hate’, and forget the outright racist and ‘communist’ jokes aimed at interim CEO Ellen Pao on /r/GloriousChairmanPao. This is about ethics in… never mind.

“What is happening?” is on the tip of every Redditor’s tongue because the moderators have so poorly expressed their grievances during this strike — evasive “Reddit Meltdown” language is necessary for the moderators to maintain face during the Fat Hate Supporters’ Strike. The only specific talk the striking moderators have mustered tells of a canned admin, Victoria, someone that no average user really knows, but it is enough to say that she set up AMA threads everyone loved although no one really can say why she was canned or why it is so upsetting to the other moderators.

Recall the ‘doxing’ of Violentacrez (moderator of many of the most creepy and abusive subreddits, like r/creepshots) and remember that this touched off a massive stink leading to the nearly reddit-wide censorship of a single reporter, Adrian Chen.

The unpaid moderators are not demanding pay — their demands are for more power and technological tools to enact those powers. Their illegitimate and reckless determination of acceptable content has let so much unacceptable hate and abuse fester for so long that CEO Ellen Pao would be well advised to radically change the business model and purge a few hundred more unpaid moderators to hire on some paid professionals who know the difference between abuse and free speech and share the interests and goals of Reddit. Purge the bullies.

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Entertainment Special Interest

Boring website ‘reddit’ braces for historic meltdown

oh wait i did but i got upboated to front page even though pizza looked like shit! hurdurdrudredditdur

INTERNET — Reddit is like church. It is a huge place everyone’s been to but nobody loves, which is why the Internet is in a giddy stir as reddit approaches this imposing critical mass situation. Redditors are in an uproar after the company fired one of the community’s favorite admins, Victoria, who modded the IAmA threads and made a lot of the bigger names appear at the top of the frontpage, like the president and stuff.

So to express how butthurt all of reddit feels, the moderators of major subreddits, including AskReddit, History, Art, Gaming, Science, Videos, and even the AdviceAnimals moderators have taken their subreddits private, which is supposed to send a message to reddit operators that the community liked Victoria, or something.

What you see now is only pre-game commentary for the big event, scheduled to happen sometime tonight or tomorrow, when they update the reddit blog. You want to see shit hit the fan, watch reddit for the next day or two.

Could Victoria’s firing end the world? Doubtful. But it could end reddit.

Scumbag Steve - reddit

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Science

NASA scientist confirms existence of Martian pyramid

"We gunna do it again"
This official NASA photograph taken by the Curiosity Rover shows what Dr. Traubedauer says is not a natural phenomenon. | Image Source: NASA
This official NASA photograph taken by the Curiosity Rover shows what Dr. Traubedauer says is not a natural phenomenon. | Image Source: NASA

Cape Canaveral, FLA. — NASA scientists are baffled by what they are calling a ‘perfect’ pyramid that appears in a set of photos made public earlier this week.

With conspiracy theories on the rise, it has been difficult to get an official to go on the record. They simply will not risk fanning the flames of what is becoming volatile and histrionic speculation. However, one source at the John F. Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, Fla. agreed to go on the record to offer some relief from the question on everybody’s minds: What is that pyramid-shaped rock?

Cosmologist Anstrohm H. Traubedauer told The Internet Chronicle that while the photo itself is not conclusive evidence of intelligence life in our solar system, the perfect shape and placement of the stone – which is about the size of a car – are strong indications the pyramid is not merely a geological phenomenon.

“On earth, we commonly find mountains jutting up ‘randomly’ across the terrain, but not without some accompanying signs of subterranean protrusion,” Traubedauer said. “It’s like someone just sort of placed it there.”

Traubedauer said even confirming their findings has been a slog through red tape and security snags.

“I really don’t like to use the word ‘extraterrestrial,’ but myself and my colleagues – including a number of prominent earth scientists and geologists – are able to discern from the photo that there are […] engravings or markings, which almost seem to indicate the structure was machined from a larger stone.”

Dr. Anstrohm H. Traubedauer

Traubedauer said the people overseeing his work are from ‘unnamed’ government agencies and do not explain their presence; however, he said they are ‘deeply interested’ in his team’s findings.

“I don’t know who these men are and frankly, they said I am not even supposed to talk about them to the press,” Traubedauer said. “That is all I can really say without losing my job. I’m sorry.”