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CAPS LOCK ULTRA

Lebal Drocer unleashes a new product on humanity.
“This time it’s legal,” says spokesman Jeffrey Winebergeron.

NEW FROM LEBAL DROCER,  INC!

BILLY MAYS HERE, FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE! Have you ever argued with someone online only to find you’ve already hit the CAPS LOCK key? Where the fuck do you go from there?

LebalSoft has the answer!

CAPS LOCK *ULTRA*™ GIVES YOUR ASS EXTRA CAPS! HOLY SHIT.

BRACE FOR CAPS LOCKDOWN!!

CAPS LOCK ULTRA is an additional key that attaches to the inferior key by the same name, turning all capital text BLOOD RED.

NEW! LIMITED TIME ONLY! Order now, chump, and we’ll throw in an actual CAPS “LOCK” which handily cements the TOTAL PERMANENCE of your UNDYING RAGE!

CAPS LOCK *ULTRA*™ gives you more time to do the things you love, somehow, like bookmarking informative Lebal Drocer pop-ups that you find interesting and appealing!

“The other day while arguing over Facebook, I got so pumped with rage blood vessels in my eyes burst and I cried projectile blood. Now thanks to CAPS LOCK ULTRA™, the only time I grit my teeth is during deep sleep!”

-Actual testimonial, not made up at all

Product demonstration:

YOU LYING SACK OF BROTHER-FUCKING MONKEY SHIT! GOD DAMN IT WHORE I WISH THERE WAS ANOTHER WAY TO EXPRESS THIS EMOTION!

[Consumer deploys CAPS LOCK *ULTRA*™]

YOU SICK FUCK! YOU SICK, DISGUSTING FUCK. I TOLD YOU HE HAD H.I.V. BUT YOU DIDN’T BELIEVE ME. AND NOW WE’VE ALL GOT IT!!!!!

The Elf Wax Times is brought to you graciously by Lebal Drocer Incorporated. We own everything that matters.

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