Corporate Army smashes Dakota barbarians near lucrative pipeline

Faceless marauders crushed a Native Rebellion on Friday that threatened to impede construction of a sweet new oil pipeline across the Northern US.

Citing unfounded claims that oil pipelines leak into water supplies, opposition forces escalated their protest into a mounted assault that led to the injury of at least a few of their horses.

The sheriff’s department participated in the defense, having pledged allegiance to the neoliberal javelin of law, and vowed to smash savagery at its root, even if it means cleansing.

“Ethnic cleansing is not a word I like to use, because it evokes images of holocaust and genocide,” he said. “But we must leave all options on the table.”

Dakota Access Pipeline is projected to be profitable as FUCK and totally keep oil prices low as shit, y’all, so chill. Get those bad thoughts out of your heads. It’s gonna be DANK once that fucker gets built. I’m talking $1.99 per gallon until something like 2020! 93 octane!

Emperor Obama is watching the situation closely from his data-bath panoptisphere.

13 Replies to “Corporate Army smashes Dakota barbarians near lucrative pipeline”

  1. Okay which one you fuckers wrote wH0rescopes, pretty CosM0 there fgts.
    Anywho you’ll want to read this
    http://montrealgazette.com/news/local-news/at-least-three-other-journalists-monitored-by-montreal-police-report-says
    The head of the Montreal police union said police Chief Philippe Pichet should be fired for allowing his officers to spy on journalists, calling the decision to track the cellphones of La Presse columnist Patrick Lagacé and at least three other reporters “unforgivable.”

  2. finally! pedobear haz entered the building. i repeed PEDOBEAR HAZ ENTERED THE BUILDING!
    (when, then, send, some gin and a pack of zig zags now let the games begin)

    1. u cant say that! that’s our word. uz not allowed 2 use it, is prerogative.
      btw…why is perry still hatin on me? anal-retentiv iz one of the nicest things i say 2 ppl. and i m right anyways…

  3. how could i? im eloquently outsmarted, as usual.
    (nuh, just kiddin. itz just so good to haz our ol perry back with capslock, with dont gettin it n all, and i know its just the third carton of chablis talking.)(nuh, just kiddin i know its pabst blue ribbon) and btw its spelled drumpf

      1. weres the funny now? the evil clown haz all your basis. u is boned u ugly, toothless weasel. i told ya so, cause bombs speak louder than words.

    1. Oh pleeze y’all probably gargle with Drumpfy’s olde cum and then bath in it nightly too. I AM A FANCY WENCH, Freixenet Sparkling Cordon Negro Brut Cava DO YOU SPEAK IT MOTHERFUCKERY?!

  4. Ugh this https://twitter.com/YourAnonNews/status/797409129774059520 ANYWAYS the anonytards helped him get elected. As long this sham of democracy (elections/voting) continues in its present form we’re all doomed as a species. Besides, elections are only designed to make one feel like they have choice & agency which is a falsehood, all they are are just noises of misdirection. @YourAnonytardNews is even worst then the MSM as a tool of propaganda for the states (both Russia & America). Anywho aint no one gettin’ out of here alive. **SLAMS the oven door shut & wanders off to listen to HATE radio**

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