9/11 demons herald Muslim invasion

Welcome to Ground Zero, the sanctuary of holy American blood

Corrupt politicians are planning 9/11 memorial services without Clergy present. This is yet another sad consequence of the pervasive Marxism of the left. We can all either thank Obama for ruining the tenth anniversary of 9/11, or we, the Tea Party, must take it back.

Lucifer’s servants in the Middle East celebrated in the streets while the Christian world mourned. The demons which escaped were a sign from God that the end-times are near, and Obama is the half Muslim Antichrist.

Osama Bin Laden's face is clearly seen here.

Do you know what kind of life a Christian has in Muslim countries? Christians are persecuted by Muslims every day. Yet we allow Muslims to walk around as if they own this country because of bleeding-heart Liberals. Have we forgotten 9/11?

On that fateful day, I remember seeing debris fall from the buildings, and I did not realize at first that these were actually people choosing to jump to their deaths. They were tempted by Satan with suicide, easy death, and when their bodies hit the ground, their souls continued falling and went straight to hell.

Pure evil was unleashed from the vaporization of Muslim terrorists and expelled in the form of a hateful, sneering smoke face.

The events of 9/11 rocked me to my core. Everything changed. I knew America was under attack and the terrorists must pay. Somebody had to be brought to justice and I did not like the way Muslims were celebrating this horrible disaster. These pictures of demons are simple proof that Muslims are in fact servants of the devil, deserving of the divine justice America has served.

This is why we need prayer at all 9/11 memorial services. Demons have not left Ground Zero, they have only set up shop. The Ground Zero mosque is for some reason allowed where where no Christian prayer may be read. We must take back Ground Zero from the demons and sanctify it once more with the prayers of a Christian Nation.

The Ghost of the World Trade center still carries on, despite the presence of demons.

Amen.

 

Eleven dead after release of new McDonald's "food product"

Today, 11 people died when a local McDonald’s announced a new item on their Dollar menu. The sandwich promised to contain so much grease and sugar, you were guaranteed a doctor’s visit redeemable with an official voucher printed and attached to every receipt.

While people continue to kill themselves from the inside out by eating McDonald’s hamgurgers, on Friday, brutal tramplings killed three children and an elderly couple, among six other victims whose remains have been sent to RPD for identification.

Officer Hindenson told reporters this afternoon, “The police are ready to hand out a killer slap on the wrist,” to those involved in Friday’s stomping-related deaths.

“We just want to see justice brought to the guilty few who halted the restaurant’s flow of business on the busiest second shift of the week,” said Officer Hendenson. “We deeply regret that these reckless, dying persons saw it fit to lay in the doorway and die while hundreds of hungry patrons impatiently waited outside.”

“All they wanted to do was give McDonald’s money.”
State-appointed attorney for McDonald’s victims

Hendenson indicated that since the perpetrators in the slayings are now dead, claims may have to be filed against their families.

McDonald’s lawyers were not immediately available for comment, but experts say the company stands to gain roughly $6.7 billion paid in reparations by the survivors.

The coke-addled state-appointed attorney defending the dead victims of what the media is calling the “Fries Eleven” tragedy released a troubling statement to reporters earlier this afternoon. It reads:

Now take one minute, if you will, a moment of silence; a moment of prayer; for the friends and family members of the employees and manager on duty. Let’s pray that they get their shit together, and are not too freaked out by all those customers dying.FRIES-ELEVEN

We need them to pull it together for the big win on Saturday, when returning patrons, newly-addicted to the McGrease, return in droves among fresh customers to create what is expected to be the most powerful surge of fast food patronage the United States has seen since the toxic release of the formidable Happy Meal in the early 1980s.

“When the Happy Meal came out, there were slayings. Savage, shameful mutilations of human beings the likes of which the Manson Family could never have dreamed of,” said Officer Hendinson, gleefully.

“We’re hoping we won’t have to release the hounds, but we have entire squads of men stationed in and around every McDonald’s between here and Henrico County. They are armed with mace, riot batons, rape-sticks, and caustic battery acid rounds. They’re non-lethal, of course. We have everything under control.”

To find follow-ups to this rapidly-developing story, check our Twitter account and shit like that.

That's just like the 9/11 of…

The following is a list of the most awesome uses of the simile this article gets its title from. Also, everyone’s favorite tragedy, except for Cole Hogan. A bad week in Queercasting, or Heath Ledger’s death? That’s practically 9/11, ‘dude.’ Look at the animation to the left carefully if you don’t understand.

 

“That cockpit eject shit is crazed. It’s like the 9/11 of explosions, with less laughs.” – Wayne Moss.

  1. Jewish Lesbian Podcaster: Just this week was the 9/11 of podcasting? I wonder why the fact that no one listened to you is so tragic that it must have something to do with 9/11? I look at it the opposite way. She is obviously a part of the faked WTC attacks. Jewish Homosexual agenda conspiracy theorists ya fuckin dropped the ball on this one, eh?
  2. Idiotic Lobotomy Patient: Oh wait, this is a 29 year old attorney, had me fooled. The quilts are nice, but you know, this just goes to show you how smart your average college educated suit is. I could have her blog wrong, but the excerpt clearly reads verbatim: “not the OMG heath ledger died what a hunk kind but the more like the 9-11 of OMG anyone can die at anytime sort of panic attack?” I know Heath Ledgers death really made me think of 9/11. What does she care? Her favorite movies are “Easter 86” and “Prom 95.” I don’t think Heath Ledger were in those ones, but I can’t find them on IMDB.
  3. Tori Spelling Has a Disastrously Tragic Photo Set: This one might approach the ugliness of 9/11, minus the gore, death, fear, and rivers of Asbestos dust flowing through the streets of New York. She’s wearing a nice army uniform, so hey, fuck her support for our boys. She’s ugly, she’s like, so 9/11. I answer this with the usual WHO THE FUCK CARES ANYWAY? You’re not funny for bringing up 9/11 to bring down someone no one cares about. For the record I don’t know who she is or why she is famous, and couldn’t fucking care less, she is an ugly hound-wench dressed looking like a soldier in drag. Hey, wait, did i just come up with a better insult than the most overused simile permeating the Internet? LOL 9/11 LOLOCAUST!
  4. Sports Writer Invokes 9/11: So an NBA player freaks out on the crowd. Someone compares it to 9/11 and guess what, it ends up in my hometown newspaper! You know what… Reading it over again, that really does remind me of 9/11. There really is a crisis in sports and sportsmanship today. We should declare a war on it, and use it as reason to invade North Korea. It’d make as much sense.

So to recap, being ignored, celebrity death, celebrity ugliness, and unsportsmanlike conduct in the NBA: 9/11. 9/11…eh, that’s like a small VT Massacre.

Less Truth, Moore Manipulation

Ever since Roger & Me hit the film festival circuit in 1989, Michael Moore has established himself to be a distinctive documentary filmmaker. With the release and wide popularity of his 2002 documentary, Bowling for Columbine, Moore gained attention from a wider audience whom perhaps weren’t as familiar with his work; however, his omissions and questionable techniques began to be somewhat evident. Then, along came Fahrenheit 9/11, a 2004 documentary following the events of the September 11th attacks and the response from the Bush administration, misleading us into occupation in Iraq. Easily Moore’s most successful and controversial film, Fahrenheit 9/11 is guilty of both covering up omitting information with film methods and crafting its own political agenda with a slanted style, a well-known characteristic of Moore. Indeed, Fahrenheit 9/11, through Michael Moore’s selected film techniques and biased and populist rhetoric, creates and argues its own political agenda, stating that Bush manipulated the events of 9/11/2001 to create unwarranted war in Iraq. Though, ironically, Moore is accountable of the same reductionism proposed.
Throughout the film, it is obvious that Michael Moore was extremely careful with the shots and editing he used in order to mask his omitted facts and sway viewers into believing everything he says is true. One of the film’s first examples is the coverage, or lack thereof, of the 9/11 attacks at the World Trade Center. Moore decided to exclude video footage and instead solely use carefully selected audio of the explosions and people crying and yelling for help, all against a blank screen. By removing the video, Moore is cueing the viewer’s personal visual memories of the events, adding much more emotion. In addition, if he would’ve shown the attacks, the emotions would be those of anger and retaliation, not those of sorrow and sympathy. Right after this scene, the video fades back in; showing the looks of shock and horror on bystanders’ faces as debris rains down from the sky, all juxtaposed with sounds of violins much like a sad part in a narrative film. These early shots and sounds prompt the emotions of sorrow from the viewer and get them involved from the start.
Secondly, another example of Moore using his film experience to his advantage is in the scene where President Bush is reading a book to elementary school students as the second plane crashed into the World Trade Center. Instead of immediately reacting after being told “America is under attack,” Bush kept his cool for seven minutes before getting up and heading for safety. However, Moore stretches these seven minutes out to feel like a lifetime by showing Bush calmly sitting and pondering his next move along with the time at the bottom of the screen to remind the viewer that minutes are passing by. Usually, in any emergency where the president’s security is threatened, the secret service takes control and decides the president’s next move. Moore does not mention this though and instead makes Bush seem as if he doesn’t care and/or doesn’t have a clue what to do next when the nation was under attack.
Finally, one last example of Moore’s use of manipulative editing occurs during the scene where President Bush is shown announcing his plan to bomb Iraq in “shock and awe” fashion. Moore mentions that his film crew went to Iraq the day before the bombings and documented Iraqi life. What is shown onscreen is children running around, frolicking around a Ferris wheel carelessly, all while Saddam Hussein’s evil regime was still in power. The next images we see are bombs exploding over Baghdad and the destruction and sorrow caused by the “shock and awe” campaign. One can’t help but to think of the similarities between the aftermaths of these bombings and the attacks of September 11th as we again see people crying for help after chaos has erupted. What Moore has done here though is depicted Saddam’s Iraq as a peaceful, happy place where kids play freely and happily, when in reality this was far from the truth. Moore’s film crew obviously went to one of the more peaceful places in Iraq and got incredibly lucky with the footage. When this happy footage is shown right before the explosions of the bombs and their aftermath, it makes the Bush Administration seem heartless and only looking invade countries that they can gain from. Although this example is much more blatant than others, it still proves the point that Michael Moore’s selected film techniques are used in such a way to covertly sway the viewer’s opinion without seeming overly direct.
Not only is Moore an expert at manipulating film techniques, he also has a way with rhetoric, choosing almost always to go along with populist opinion and never offering opposing viewpoints. Throughout Moore’s films, he has always picked one person to buffoon through his use of archive footage and film manipulation. In Roger & Me, his target was Roger Smith, CEO of General motors, while in Bowling for Columbine, his target was the National Rifle Association and its president at the time, Charlton Heston. With Fahrenheit 9/11, Moore was sitting on a goldmine by picking George W. Bush, who is no stranger to bumbled speeches and misquotes. Basically, all Moore had to do was get his hands on archive footage making Bush look foolish and juxtapose them right where his points were being made. In the summer of 2004, a majority of the U.S. was already questioning Bush’s misuse of power. Before the film was even released, there was mass controversy regarding the issues discussed in the film. Even the title itself, which derives from Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, caused some controversy with Bradbury asking Moore to change the film’s title (Fahrenheit 9/11 controversy). These controversies had an adverse effect, creating publicity and causing it to open up at the box office with 23.9 million. With most viewers knowing the context of the film before entering the theatre, Moore was basically preaching to a choir.
Another known characteristic of Moore’s films is that he always finds a way to get his hometown, Flint, Michigan, involved. In Fahrenheit 9/11, he does so by encountering a mother who lost her son in the conflict in Iraq. It is at this point in the film where Moore tones down his usual blaring music along with visuals and shifts the focus solely on the woman’s struggles dealing with the loss of a son. If viewers weren’t already emotionally tuned in to Moore’s rhetoric, now they have a first-hand look at the personal side of war. It is interesting to note that in this scene, Moore makes it seem as if the mother, Lila Lipscomb, had made a complete change in her opinions of the war. In the beginning, Lipscomb states that she loves America and supports the president every step of the way; however, her opinion seems to take a 180-degree turn when she goes to the White House. Dr. Kelton Rhoads, an expert in psychology, did a bit of research of his own and uncovered that Lipscomb had voted for Al Gore in the 2000 election and claimed that Bush had stole the election (Rhoads).
Lastly, as much as Moore suggests that Bush duped a nation into agreeing with his unprovoked invasion of Iraq, Moore himself is just as guilty of the same reductionism by duping his viewers with film manipulation and populist opinion. Moore portrays Bush throughout the movie as being a manipulative leader even with the first shots of him preparing himself before addressing the nation. However, Moore is a true master of manipulation and hides it well by using ambiguous film techniques instead of straightforward facts to push his opinions on people seamlessly.
To conclude, Fahrenheit 9/11 was a successful documentary that’s triumph over viewers was mainly due to Michael Moore’s skilled film techniques and populist rhetoric that its audience would hardly question with a first viewing. However, when examined closely, the film is guilty of using these skills to its advantage and duping all of those who watch and believe everything stated is true. In conclusion, through its selected film techniques and populist rhetoric, Fahrenheit 9/11 is a success in terms of creating and arguing its own political agenda. Though, one must argue the overall success of the film when George W. Bush was reelected and still in office.