Paul Ryan washes dishes at Ohio soup kitchen and hurries out

Paul Ryan hurriedly washes a pan while lecturing schoolchildren about the inconvenience of calluses. . . .

Good News and Bad News

No bedtime! . . .

New Game Call of Duty: Modern Occupation 2 Makes Imperialism Fun Again

Experience the awesome realism of day-to-day military operations from the eyes of a grizzled xenophobic Alabaman named Jeff Cleburn, and count the days until he rotates out of this shithole. . . .

Peter King To Rescue Fear-Gripped Midwest From Shariah Law

The only “serious” differences in fundie types are alterations in the underlying cartoon narrative of anthropology, familial histories, flying men and talking donkeys. . . .

Barack Obama's personality cult

Democrats will regurgitate every word of Barack Obama’s as if it were their own. His personality cult has grown through war and propaganda to rival Stalin. . . .

miley-cyrus-lapdance-video

Like your uncircumcised, shriveled up little excuse for a winky, The Chronicle.SU has risen to the call of the next, and possibly last, Miley Cyrus article. . . .

VOTING DOES NOT MATTER

There are many people who will say I am the ignorant one, to encourage voter apathy. To that, I say: I encourage voting; only with guns. . . .

When Families Grieve – A Very Special PBS Special

Lockheed-Martin pays Elmo and some other puppets go on PBS tonight to tell kids how to cope with death as a result of suicide, illness and war. . . .

ANTI-WAR PROTEST IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

Washington, D.C.–Tens of thousands of protesters are expected to gather in front of the White House to protest the Afghanistan and Iraq wars. Elf Wax reports live from noon to six. . . .

CNN and FOX affiliates announce new patriotic reality show

Snap into a psychotic rage this Fall in an all-new season of War, Episode II, Overseas Contingency Operation. Fuck propaganda – this is the REAL DEAL! . . .