PRESSTORM SCRAMBLES TO SUPPRESS TRUTH

Internet– Jamie Jo Corne, real life journalist and publicist for presstorm.com, tragically resorted to posting nude photographs of herself via flickr after church Sunday following a bout with bulimia and self-hatred.

Mr. Corne, the editor of cesstorm who goes by @vincubusdante, came up with the idea while collaborating with outside experts on the matter of manipulating search results to save face and suppress dissent. [LEAKED AUDIO BELOW]

Inside sources close to presstorm suggest editorial duties have fallen upon the ancient @vincubusdante because his babymachine is too busy providing milk to the sucklings to defend herself.

Using Murdoch-approved hacked phone records and coercion techniques, Chronicle.SU recovered the actual phone call taking place between Mr. Corne and the Internet Police:

Leaked Presstorm Audio by ChronicleSU

FAN MAIL!

Greetings viewers! Welcome to the program! Long time, no blog, eh? (writer’s block, i mean, strike)

This week we had a very special fan submit to us a very special feedback comment on our newgrounds page*.

*For those who haven’t seen, please. Enjoy for yourselfs. HERE or THERE. AUDIO GALORE!

Anywho, our good #1 fan/friend/stalker(MIRITE?), FLASHMX, sent us these (very) kind words!:

“What are you talking about? Did you listen to the same song I did? It was bad, it was loud, it was chaos, it was BAD. The votes say it all, I don’t care if people found it useless, its one out of some hundred that people did so, its a bad song, thats it. Chill”

To which ELF WAX replied:

Flash-MX wrote: What are you talking about?

EW: The dreadful uselessness of your reviews.

Flash-MX: Did you listen to the same song I did?

EW: Not only, Elf Wax birthed the auditory brilliance which you deny.

Flash-MX: It was bad, it was loud, it was chaos, it was BAD.

EW: Welcome to Elf Wax, nube. (bad and BAD are still the same word no matter the capitalization.)

Flash-MX: The votes say it all, I don’t care if people found it useless,

EW: Elf Wax doesn’t care that you don’t care.

Flash-MX: its one out of some hundred that people did so,

EW: Thx 4 thee math.

Flash-MX: its a bad song, thats it. Chill

EW: You’re a bad song. That, is it? Cool. THANKS FOR BEING A FAN! XOXOXO!

This has been brought to you by Lebal Drocer Inc. 2008.

What a swell gal! Here’s what else it had to say!

“Elf Wax is just some Manson rip-off who thinks making music that makes no sense is art, its crap.”

Put THAT in the Rolling Stones newspaper! Ya can’t make that up, folkskis! We actually love mansions! Lebal Drocer has provided us with 5… each! Ha! Who laughs last, laughs in the end! quote me.
That’s it for nowz! GREATBYE!

In Lebal Drocer Inc. we trust.