Anonymous Smashes Bank of America contractor TEKSystems

Bank of America is Anonymous

INTERNET — Early Monday morning, the loosely knit collective of teenagers known as Anonymous was able to string together enough sentences to “kinda” make a press release for one of their greatest achievements since not hacking Stratfor: Releasing the data of Bank of America defense contractor, TEKSystems.

AnonForecast, current leader of the Legion sector of Anonymous, is likely the one who carried out this operation, considering everything revolves around him somehow.

The release comes as a shock to the intelligence  hacker and activist communities alike, as we begin to peel back the layers and realize that everything posted on a Pastebin or tweeted is, in fact, true. Shockingly enough, it’s quite possible that everything ever posted on the internet could be true, says fabled neck-beard Richard Stallman, “We are at time where information has become so compressed, so fluid, like the thoughts of a child, the flap of a butterflies wings or the ripples in still water, that it’s impossible to write anything fallacious on the internet.”

As we all know, Stallman, in recent years, began developing his own religion on his completely open-source laptop made by Chinese children, so he cannot be lying.

Josh the God just doesn’t give a fuck.

Hosted on Anonymous’ very own leak platform Par-AnoiA.net, the dump has a list of keywords that one could only assume are used by TEKSystems’ advanced spider bot detection system. Many activists were elated to find their names embedded in the list, most notably: megalomaniac hacker Jacob Appelbaum. He waxed Monday, amid defamatory shouts calling him a plagiarist and phony: “This is something I would have never expected, citizens spying upon citizens. The panopticon grows, but I’m glad I got name-dropped.”

While the leak is riddled with irrefutable truths, one group in particular is doxed turbo hard from information gleaned from Pastebin: UGNazi. Fabled hacker, carder and Nazi @JoshTheGod is named as Josh Mendez, a.k.a. Blake Bronstad, which we all know as true considering he was arrested in 2012 under the obvious alias “Mir Islam.”

Stratfor isn’t the only private contractor news publication on lots and lots of Xanex.

Cosmo is also named in the Pastebin, which of course is correct, because who’s to argue since his name was never released to the public due to his minor status.

In their teaser file, Anonymous highlights some really fantastic nostalgia that reminds us all about the days of yore, when people said “lulz” and HBGary took to the IRCs to stick it to Anonymous. This lovely, readable word salad would make Aaron Barr’s hiking boots swelter, as if his loins were moistening at the sight of “t-asshurtmacfags” breasts.

Noted activist, speed walker and writer Kenneth Lipp gets fingered as the great @Jackal[Anon], a.k.a. @YourAnonNews, the ringleader of Anonymous. How can one confirm this? Simply visit the Wikipedia rival site encyclopediadramatica.se’s entry on JackalAnon and see for yourself. Confirmed.

All in all, this release is nothing more than the Stratfor leak on a handful of xannie bars. However it does highlight the accuracies of what one could only identify as the greatest intelligence source of all time: Pastebin.

BANK OF AMERICA HATE LEAKED BY US GOVERNMENT

Washington, D.C.–Are the recent “leaks” by Anonymous actually government efforts to discredit the hacktivist organization?

The Bank of America mortgage fraud claim is strong, but old. The evidence released Sunday night is weak and indicative of someone who hates his job. That said, it looks like some numbers were in fact changed.

Be that as it may, we will examine motives behind the leak, rather than its content, which is undergoing professional scrutiny as you read this.

The source of the leak, a former employee of Balboa Insurance, suspiciously gave the information to a member of Anonymous instead of Wikileaks. But in his emails to Anonymous, the former employee complained of unfair treatment at his job, and that cute waitresses would only fuck his co-workers. He said they knew too much about the inner-workings of the Bank of America, and not enough about him.

Sounds pretty weak, right? We thought so, too.

The United States Government, or any intelligence-oriented government, for that matter, would play up the release of “weak leaks” – as they appear to have done – to discredit Anonymous and hurt the group’s image and presence. But they would not use Wikileaks, as Wikileaks is sworn enemy of the state and not even in jest should it be used to transmit information.

Anyone able to get their hands on this information can see it’s important, but hardly enough to bring a fraudulent, government-endorsed bank to its knees. Yet leading up to the release, its importance and weight were inflated in real-time to the point where it wouldn’t surprise us to find a Papa John’s ad at the top of the page before too long.

Call it a page from the counter-intel playbook, if you will. Within the Anonymous circle, this practice is known as psy-ops. Out of paranoia, they accused chronicle.SU of PsyOps when we asserted the probability of the USG intervening, watching and influencing Anonymous and anonnews.org. [Editor’s note: the assertion stands.]

The “leak” may be substantial, but not in the way it is being played up.

——-

“Deluge dissent in a wave of bad and pointless ‘official’ info so people become skeptical about future releases. I mean, whats with the obvious attempt at eastern european engrish? why would a russian know enough/care to pursue the specifics of american mortgage fraud? They likely have different property laws/procedures.

To me, this whole thing kinda stinks like counterintelligence.”

-noob [that’s his name]

——-

Chronicle.SU shares growing skepticism with an unlikely source of decentralized information, The Pirate Bay.

“atopiary The torrent from @OperationLeakS that we hosted just got taken down and so did the account with The Pirate Bay. Not sure why. #AnonLeaks 2 minutes ago via web

Just a note, #AnonLeaks is simply mirroring the BoA leaks from @OperationLeaks rather than directly leaking. AnonLeaks isn’t taking credit. about 2 hours ago via web

This does look sketchy.”

– Torrent seeder

Stay truthful, readers.