corbo tendo – PRIVATELY TO HIMSELF


I aM Corbo Tendos horse. I have spent my life under his saddle –
with him in it, too, and he is good for two hundred pounds, without
his clothes; and there is no telling how much he does weigh when he
is out on the war-path and has his batteries belted on AND IN HIS ANUS. WHEN HE WAS A CHILD THEY CALLED HIM “WALKMAN” ON ACCOUNT OF HOW HE STUCK BATTERIES “CAMPFIRE BRAND IN HIS ASSHOLE”He is over
six feet LONG, isNT young, hasn’t an ounce of waste flesh, is straight,
graceful, springy in his motions, quick as a cat, and has a
handsome face, and black hair dangling/DANGLIN down on his sTRINGS, and
is beautiful to STARE at; and nobody is braver than he is, and
nobody is stronger, except myself. Yes, a person that doubts that
he is fine to see should see him in his beaded buck-skins, on my
back and his rifle peeping above his shoulder,HOW HE LOVED TO RIDE ME, NAKED

 

Illegal Monopoly strategy results in Michigan arrest

monopoly-guyA Michigan man was charged with assault after beating a woman during a game of Monopoly because she “would not sell her Boardwalk and Park Place properties” to him. Since this did not break any rules in Monopoly, game play persisted until the man won the game by sheer intimidation.

The 54-year-old Monopoly slumlord struck the woman in the head, breaking her glasses, she told authorities, forcing the unfair trade with his thug-like business tactics. After knocking her block off, he seized the properties in question without tendering any payment whatsoever.

Some sources have rumored that he placed hotels on the property without making the proper payments. Yet another source claims he manipulated the bank, causing a microcosm of the real-life housing crisis. “He was cooking the books,” said fictitious money analyst Jim Cramer.

The monopoly slum lord was arrested shortly after the game and charged with racketeering in addition to assault and battery.

The man was ordered not to pass go, and not to collect two hundred dollars and then sent directly to jail.  However, he quickly paid the standard $50 bail bond and was set free next turn.

“He should be roaming the streets by morning,” the rule book says.