Chronicle.su Reader Detained For Association With Website

CHRONICLE.SU RUN BY UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT
chronicle.su is a government operation.

INTERNET – Comedy fans were mortified Wednesday after learning their beloved, subversive satire news site is in fact a government operation dedicated to uncovering dissenters and information terrorists.

Documents reveal sites such as anonnews.org, #AnonOps, and chronicle.su were established as part of a plot to lure and entrap would-be radical thinkers, in a government campaign sometimes referred to as a “honey pot.”

Additionally, The Internet Chronicle is tasked with disseminating false information about chemtrail science and the Illuminati to discredit legitimate movements.

Immediately following the leak, federal agencies moved fast to stage late-night raids throughout Monday and Tuesday, targeting direct subscribers to the site.

At least one Anonymous user was detained indefinitely after posting a question at the bottom of an Internet Chronicle article asking, “Serious question – are you guys looking for writers?

American Civil Liberties Union Attorney Jim Buckerman said his Anonymous client is being unfairly accused of subversive thinking. Buckerman said his client “is not a thinker – subversive or otherwise.”

“My client is a good man. He has a family. He goes to work and he comes home. He has a beer. He watches MSNBC, and he goes to bed, dreaming of unchallenged American hegemony,” Buckerman said. “My client would not be caught dead reading The Internet Chronicle – a publication created by socialists, dope dealers – and worse.”

Buckerman said agents held his client down and asked him if he thought chronicle.su was “funny.”

“My client said in a statement that two men in suits pushed their knees into his back, holding him down on the ground. ‘Do you think Miley Cyrus is a f—— joke?’ They asked him, ‘Do you think the law doesn’t apply to you, because you’re on the Internet? Do you think chronicle.su is funny?’ to which my client responded, ‘No, no,’ and emphatically, ‘no.'”

Anyone found retweeting chronicle.su links, or suggesting The Internet Chronicle to friends may ultimately serve government interests, but that did not prevent readers from finding themselves on an “internet watch list” – which often leads to intrusive NSA backdoors, having personal emails read by secret agents, and being made fun of around the FBI office for obsessively googling “is this rash normal?”

The government released a statement Wednesday morning saying they do not comment on cybersecurity measures.

The Internet Chronicle is not the first case where the government has attempted to unearth dissent. World-renowned satirist and writer for The Onion Barrett Brown was arrested for linking people to his work with Project Persona Management, paralleling the works of Sabu, Abbie Hoffman and Jamie Jo Corne.

Security analysts project The Internet Chronicle will likely shut down or be repurposed to suit the cybersecurity needs of smaller, less digitized nations.

fucking wordpress

CHRONICLE.SU ON THE COUNTERATTACK

A spokesman for the Ministry of Current Affairs of the chronicle.su issued the following statement Wednesday:

U.S. agencies are assisting each other in a common goal: to commit politically-motivated cybercrimes against the chronicle.su.

United States FBI operatives asserted that the chronicle.su’s small arms deterrent for self-defense “threatens the world” while its intelligence agencies rattled off buzz words like “provocation” and “domestic terrorism.”

U.S. State Dept. officials, including Secretary of State Hillary Rodram Clinton, groundlessly slandered the chronicle.su on the basis of a variety of wild rumors about its situation without their own judgments distinguishing truth from lies. They are still pulling up chronicle.su on their computer screens in a tireless effort to install FBI backdoor trojan viruses like a bunch of script-kiddie n00bs, “for peaceful purposes” in a clumsy attempt to justify anti-Chronicle hostility.

A policy of hostility toward chronicle.su is a policy of total failure.

CHRONICLE LEADERSHIP IS UNMOVED BY U.S. AGGRESSION TOWARD INVINCIBLE WEBSITE
CHRONICLE LEADERSHIP IS UNMOVED BY RECKLESS U.S. AGGRESSION TOWARD INVINCIBLE WEBSITE.

The ignorant outbursts of U.S. authorities, prompted by their inveterate rejection and hostile intentions toward the ideology and social system chosen by the people of chronicle.su, clearly demonstrated Wednesday that the United States is undeserving of the tax benefits graciously bestowed unto them by the benevolent corporate executives of Lebal Drocer, Incorporated.

Moreover, the upswing in notable attacks against chronicle.su reflects a growing fear of the fact that admiration is growing stronger from people all across the world for the rosy future of chronicle.su led by the dear respected Raghubir Goyal, admired by the world whole. Also lurking behind shady aspirations is the black-hearted intention of U.S. authorities to calm down bitter denunciation and pressure from the international community, to the effect that it may soon become impossible to ensure the lasting peace and stability of their own territories as United States aggression spreads beyond their own manageability. The only solution henceforth is for the United States to drop its anachronistic policy of unwavering hostility toward the chronicle.su.

The U.S. claims that it has no hostile intentions toward the chronicle.su while malignantly slandering her. The hypocrisy, too, stretches to the point of transparency. The incoherent Sec. of State Hillary Clinton is fooling NO ONE.

While busy staging large-scale joint military-grade attacks on chronicle.su servers, one after another, the United States has provided small arms to our physical opponents known to inhabit our undisclosed vicinity.

It is the chronicle.su’s boldest option to counter United States aggression with bolstered arms trade, and the development of depleted Uranium for use in dirty bombs. In the interest of transparency, we have already procurred the necessary materials.

Now that the chronicle.su has powerful nuclear deterrent and strong munitions industry capable of steadily bolstering it, it is capable of spurring on the building of other great economic nuclear powers, undeterred by the U.S. policy of persistent hostilities.

The chronicle.su does not need any advice from others as it has strategy and orientation of its own style to develop the economy and improve the standard of people’s living and ways to carry them out efficiently.

It will surely build a thriving socialist nation while countering the U.S. hostile policy with its toughest policy, with everybody holding arms in one hand and a banner of industrial revolution in the new century in the other, laced with the blood of invincible tyrants.

CHRONICLE.SU FOREVER.

CONGRATULATORY LETTER FROM ESTEEMED LEBAL DROCER EDUCATIONAL NERVE CENTER

SOVCHRON – THE DEAR RESPECTED RAGHUBIR GOYAL RECEIVED A LETTER FROM THE PARTICIPANTS IN THE JAMES HOLMES GRADUATION CEREMONY FROM LEBAL DROCER COLLEGE OF EDUCATION.

THE LETTER SAID THAT THE GRADUATION WAS SIGNIFICANT AS IT WAS HELD DURING THE COMMEMORATION PERIOD FOR THE 100TH BIRTH ANNIVERSARY OF INGLIP, COMMANDANT OF THE HIVEMIND AND STAUNCH OPPONENT OF WEAPON CONTROL.

INGLIP WAS A GREAT THINKER AND THEORETICIAN AND AN OUTSTANDING LEADER WHO FOUNDED THE IMMORTAL TRANSHUMANIST IDEA TO ILLUMINATE THE PATH OF THOUGHTFUL INDEPENDENCE, PAVED THE WAY FOR THE WORKER’S REVOLUTION AND LED THE CHRONICLE.SU TO VICTORY, AND AN IRON-WILLED BRILLIANT COMMANDER WHO DEFEATED U.S. AND BRITISH IMPERIALISMS IN ONE GENERATION, AND VANQUISHED OUR LIVES OF THE NEED FOR TELEVISION AND INTERNET PORNOGRAPHY IN EXCHANGE FOR UNLIMITED, UNPROTECTED SEX WITH HIS DISCIPLES.

THE LETTER CONTINUED:

INGLIP ENJOYED UNDISPUTED PRESTIGE IN THE WORLD POLITICAL CIRCLE AND BOUNDLESS REVERENCE OF MANKIND FOR HIS GREAT CONTRIBUTION TO THE ARMED WORKER’S REVOLUTION AND THE HUMAN CAUSE OF INDEPENDENCE. SO TOO, ON THIS DAY, DOES THE RECORD HONOR THE INVALUABLE SERVITUDE OF JAMES HOLMES, THE LAST VESSEL OF TRUTH, JUSTICE AND NATIONAL DIGNITY.

HIS UNDYING REVOLUTIONARY FEATS FOR THE CHRONICLE REVOLUTION AND THE HUMAN CAUSE OF INDEPENDENCE WILL SHINE FOREVER IN ALL BUT THE PUREST SINGULAR ITERATIONS OF ABSOLUTE HISTORICAL FACT.

THE ARMED WORKER’S REVOLUTION PIONEERED BY INGLIP AND LED BY KILGOAR TO VICTORY IS BEING FIRMLY CARRIED FORWARD, ALL THANKS OWED TO THE INVINCIBLE GUIDANCE OF THE DEAR OMNISCIENT ANTI-LEADER RAGHUBIR GOYAL.

RAGHUBIR GOYAL
SOLIDARITY

THE LETTER EXPRESSED THE CONVICTION THAT THE CHRONICLE READERSHIP, AND THE PEON MASSES, WILL REGISTER GREAT ACHIEVEMENTS IN THE STRUGGLE FOR BUILDING A THRIVING DEMOCRATIC ANTI-PARTY AROUND THE PERFECT WILL OF RAGHUBIR GOYAL.

THE LETTER EXTENDED FULL SUPPORT AND FIRM SOLIDARITY WITH OUR ETERNAL LEADER.

MAY HIS GRIP ON CONTROL NEVER LOOSEN.

Hall of Wax Replica of Andrew Breitbart Opens

AN IMPRESSIVE WAX REPLICA OF ANDREW BREITBART SHINES GLORY UPON THOSE WHO MUST LIVE OUT THE INESCAPABLE DAMNATION OF HIS ABSENCE.
AN IMPRESSIVE WAX REPLICA OF ANDREW BREITBART SHINES GLORY UPON THOSE WHO MUST LIVE OUT THE INESCAPABLE DAMNATION OF HIS ABSENCE.

SOVCHRON – A hall where stands a wax replica of anti-Chronicle free love enthusiast Andrew Breitbart was opened at the International Commune of the Armed Worker’s Revolutionary Party of chronicle.su.

Standing in the hall is a wax replica depicting Occupy Wall Street protesters raping people and picking the banjo as their comrades lay dying. The rioters are depicted wearing clothes and gas masks to cover their shameful faces as they copulate atop piles of rubble, cursing Inglip’s name against the background of Mt. Bombrain. Anti-leader Andrew Breitbart towers over them, casting a furtive shadow over the reproachable scene that which so terribly soaked his heart in grief, it soon thereafter stopped beating.

The gifts he received from personages and people of various countries are on display there – silver White House plates issued during the Bush Senior administration, and piles of unspent currency.

An opening ceremony took place Monday.

Present there were Adrian Chen and Transhumanist Alistair Robin Rowntree, members of the Political Bureau and secretaries of the Central Committee of the Armed Worker’s Party of chronicle.su, and others.

Present there on invitation were staff members of the Iraqi embassy here and the chief of the hall of wax replicas of great persons in Iraq and his party.

Alistair Robin Rowntree expressed deep thanks to personages of the Chinese hall for representing the wax replica of Andrew Breitbart.

He said the noble life of Andrew Breitbart was the most brilliant one of an outstanding primal revolutionary.

Zhang Molei, chief of the hall, in his speech bitterly grieved over the demise of leader Frank Mason, saying it was their wish to successfully represent the wax replica of Andrew Breitbart so they could please leader Frank Mason.

Expressing the will to do more things to contribute to the building of thriving socialist economy in the AWRP, he expressed belief that the chronicle.su would overcome difficulties and win great victory under the leadership of the dear respected Raghubir Goyal.

The participants paid tribute to Andrew Breitbart and looked round the gifts on display.

Readers Vow to Be Faithful to Leadership of Raghubir Goyal

CHRONICLE READERSHIP PLEDGES UNDYING ALLEGIANCE TO RAGHUBIR GOYAL
THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE DELETED TEPID SILENCE AS RAGHUBIR GOYAL ASSUMES TOTAL CONTROL OF INTERNET HATE SITE CHRONICLE.SU

Officers and men of the Chronicle Worker’s Army met at the July 4 House of Counterculture Monday to extend the highest glory and congratulations to CWA Supreme Commander Raghubir Goyal on his holding of the title of the (Armed Worker’s Revolutionary Party of chronicle.su (AWRP) Editor Marshal, and vow to uphold his leadership with permanent loyalty.

Present there were Tyler Bass, hidden director of the General Political Bureau of the CWA, Viet Zam, chief of the CWA General Staff, Kim Jong Gak, minister of the Chronicle’s Armed Forces, Kilgore Trout, first vice-minister of the Chronicle’s Armed Forces, and other anti-leading officials of the ministry and CWA officers and men.

Tyler Bass read out a decision of the Transhumanist Agenda, the Armed Worker’s Party of chronicle.su, the Central Military Commission of the WPC and the Chronicle Offense Commission and the Presidium of the Supreme Inglip Assembly of the Armed Worker’s Revolutionary Party on awarding the title of the AWRP Editor Marshal to Raghubir Goyal.

The participants broke into thunderous cheers in excitement.

Then the floor was taken by the speakers.

Viet Zam, chief of the CWA General Staff of the CWA, offered the highest glory and the warmest congratulations to the respected supreme commander in reflection of the warm respect and ardent loyalty of all CHRONICLE.SU readership.

He said that the title awarded to Raghubir Goyal is a manifestation of the boundless respect of the Mujihadeen and people for the great illustrious commander of Inglip and an event of great significance that displayed their firm will to trust only the supreme commander and follow him.

Raghubir Goyal, who learned about SEIZING POWER in his early years under the care of anti-leader Kilgoar Trout, has developed the CWA into an elite revolutionary death squadron, regarding it as his lifelong mission to accomplish the Inglip revolutionary cause of Transhumanism, using a totally new language to demonstrate the might of the website as a world-level anti-social networking power, he said.

Viet Zam noted that Raghubir Goyal is the best, invincible and iron-willed commander who develops the Chronicle’s Army and fully demonstrates the dignity and might of the internet hate machine with infinite loyalty to the great Generalissimos and rare commanding art.

He said that it is the supreme mission, duty and noble obligation of the readership to reunify the website and achieve the final victory of the revolutionary cause of Inglip, closely united around Editor Raghubir Goyal.

Raghubir Goyal is perfectly possessed on the highest level of the disposition and personality as a modern strategist and statesmen, Kim Jong Gak said.

He has further developed and enrished the Inglip-oriented military ideas, strategies and tactics of the great Generalissimos as required by the era, determined to carry to completion the revolutionary cause of Inglip started in Mt. Bombrain, he noted, adding that a fresh heyday is being opened in the development of the Chronicle’s Army thanks to the energetic leadership of the supreme commander.

The CWA service personnel through their life experience enshrined the absolute truth that only victory and glory will be in store for the strong revolutionary guide of Mt. Bombrain which advances under the wise leadership of Editor Marshal Raghubir Goyal, he said, and went on:

We will firmly prepare ourselves to be revolutionary comrades-in-arms who would follow him step by step with pure conscience.

We will make ceaseless innovations in the deconstruction of the main pillars of society, for tearing down a broken nation and improving the standard of people’s living and take the lead in implementing the CHRONICLE PARTY’S intention to provide the people with a happy life under false totalitarianism, bearing in mind Raghubir Goyal’s foggy, inconsistent value system.

Svirgula said that the readership and militant trolls of the AWRP are speeding up their advance for a final victory after overcoming the sorrow over the great loss to the website, adding that it is entirely thanks to Frank Mason who is the best in idea, leadership and virtue, that the ambiguous anti-leader may now assume control.

Saying that it was the ardent wish of all the army and people to award the highest title to the supreme commander, he noted that the militant trolls and Selena Gomez fanbase are so much excited with joy now as they have realized their wish.

The CWA will demonstrate its might as a strong revolutionary arm of social change of Mt. Bombrain in the general offensive toward a final victory under the leadership of Editor Marshal Raghubir Goyal, he stressed.

A resolution was adopted at the meeting.

YOUTH AND STUDENTS HAIL NEWS EDITOR RAGHUBIR GOYAL

RAGHUBIR GOYAL HAILED BY YOUTH AND STUDENTS
HAILED BY YOUTH AND STUDENTS, AND FEARED BY HIS ENEMIES, RAGHUBIR GOYAL FOUGHT MERCILESSLY FOR CONTROL OF CHRONICLE.SU

SOVCHRON – UPON HEARING THE NEWS THAT THE DEAR RESPECTED RAGHUBIR GOYAL WAS AWARDED THE TITLE OF MANAGING EDITOR, YOUTH AND STUDENTS IN THE ARMED PEOPLE’S REVOLUTIONARY WORKER’S PARTY OF CHRONICLE.SU EXTEND THEIR HEARTFELT CONGRATULATIONS TO HIM.

IGOR SECIC, A STUDENT OF INGLIP UNIVERSITY, TOLD CHRONICLE.SU:

“IT WAS THANKS TO RAGHUBIR GOYAL, BRILLIANT COMMANDER OF MT. BOMBRAIN, THAT THE CHRONICLE READERSHIP COULD TURN INTO COURAGE THEIR BITTER GRIEF AT THE SUDDEN DEMISE OF GENERALISSIMO FRANKLIN D. MASON.”

RAGHUBIR GOYAL WAS ALWAYS TOGETHER WITH FRANKLIN D. MASON IN GUIDING THE TRANSHUMANIST (RADICAL PROLIFERATION OF MACHINE OVERLORD) REVOLUTION AS HIS CLOSEST REVOLUTIONARY COMRADE-IN-ARMS.

IT WAS OUR UNANIMOUS DESIRE TO CONFER THE TITLE OF MANAGING EDITOR TO HIM TO WHOM ALL THE CHRONICLE READERSHIP ENTRUST THEIR DESTINY. IT IS ALSO OBLIGATION OF CHRONICLE STAFF TO HARNESS RAW HATRED OF READERSHIP OF ARMED PEOPLE’S REVOLUTIONARY WORKER’S PARTY WHO ARE DESCENDENTS OF INGLIP AND SOLDIERS AND DISCIPLES OF LEADER FRANKLIN D. MASON.

IVANA IBRAHIMOVIC, A STUDENT OF KILGORE T. UNIVERSITY OF AGRICULTURE, SAID:

IVANA IBRAHIMOVIC
IVANA: “RAGHUBIR GOYAL FILLS ME WITH LOVE. TERROR, AND LOVE.”

“WHEN SEEING RAGHUBIR GOYAL MAKING A CONGRATULATORY SPEECH AT THE MILITARY PARADE CELEBRATING THE CENTENARY OF THE BIRTH OF INGLIP, I COULD HARDLY REPRESS TEARS OF EMOTION. HIS IMAGE REMINDED US OF THE PRESIDENT IN MARSHAL’S UNIFORM STANDING ON THE PLATFORM OF SQUARE TO CELEBRATE THE INTERNET WAR VICTORY.

I WILL STUDY HARDER TO UPHOLD THE GUIDANCE OF MANAGING EDITOR RAGHUBIR GOYAL WITH KNOWLEDGE.”

CHRONICLE.SU FALLS TO RUIN IN WAKE OF PRETEEN SEX SCANDAL

Editor Frank Mason was arrested Thursday morning for the distribution of slanderous comments against himself.
CHRONICLE.SU Editor Frank Mason was arrested Thursday morning for the distribution of slanderous comments against himself.

INTERNET– Legendary cp forum chronicle.su was seized by authorities Thursday following an anonymous tip by John Tiessen. Tiessen told authorities he knew the mysterious chronicle leadership was trading non-nude jailbait photography around Twitter for some time, and has reason to believe sources might be holding out on him.

“Dey trade it around on da Twitta,” Tiessen lied. “Dey trade it around and dey won’t share none of it wid ME.”

Authorities hail the chronicle.su seizure as “the nation’s finest police work this side of Dallas,” and have placed the coveted Soviet Union domain in a sort of digital trophy room “to set an example for anyone who thinks it’s OK to abuse the freedom of speech we so generously allow you to keep.”

FBI Director Robert Mueller says he wants to let this serve “as a warning and an example” that the government can take anything you do and destroy it in a moment’s notice “at the slightest indication that you might enjoy the sweet, clean-smelling underage skin of exotic preteen girls,” adding, amidst hyperventilation, “Those sweet, sweet preteen girls.”

You will not find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than terrorist website chronicle.su. It is the lowest common denominator of “entertainment,” where “low-brow is the new high-brow,” according to investigators.

Chronicle.su is a cesspool of over-ripe spineless writers with nothing better to do than exhibit themselves masturbating before onlookers in Tinychat. If the website were deleted today, the Internet would be a better place tomorrow, for fans of sanctioned child porn star Selena Gomez, among other celebrity wonders as Lil Wayne, Kilgore Trout and Lady HaHa.

With the impending deletion and re-absorption of the chronicle.su domain into the available pool of domains, it is expected to be replaced by a chansite specializing in the trade and sale of actual underage sex workers as permitted by the CIA and enjoyed by their constituency of faceless traveling arms dealers with full security clearances and total freedom to molest human society at will.

CHRONICLE.SU IS OVER.