hello africans. welcome to www.chronicle.su, where the news is always right.

Africa– Fans mourn the loss of Senegalese pop star Akon, who died of AIDS, which ravages their shitty continent. They can’t deal with it. . . .

Kilgore Trout whiteknights awesome Chronicle troll-action

Kilgore Trout stops Mason play dead in the water! DOUBLE OVERTIME . . .

Chronicle editors to endure “hell gauntlet” of terrible writing

We’re hiring the fuck out of you. . . .

A Chronicle Christmas

Putting the X back in Christmas . . .

CHRONICLE.SU DEFEATS TH3J35T3R

Everything the Jester was once known for has been taken away. He has been castrated by Apache developers, posted an embarrassing music video encompassing his feelings toward small children, and is now shitting himself in fear of Lebal Drocer, Incorporated. The wolves are closing in. . . .

THE CHRONICLE.SU IS YOUR KIND

After many focus groups, Lebal Drocer understands you want diversity in your news. Sorry, but we only trust white people. . . .

Chronicle.SU is WRONG

Adrien Chen pointed out that Hugo Carvalho is not Sabu, as investigative journalists within Chronicle.SU incorrectly reported. . . .

Internet “Not Anonymous Enough” for CHRONICLE Writer Old Brutus

Yet another Chronicle staffer drops out of the Internet . . .

chronicle.su SUCKS and is gay

The Chronicle.SU is shit and I don’t go there. . . .

The Chronicle Manifesto

As might be spat by Das Racist . . .