Julian Assange weighs in as Anonymous lashes out at leadership within U.S. Department of Justice

Anonymous has long been “infiltrated” by the Department of Homeland Security, whose job it is to instigate irrational, retaliatory actions within the Anonymous collective; however, the cyberwar took a giant leap forward Friday during #OPMegaUpload when Anonymous attacked the Department of Justice website, turning on what many believe to be its own leadership. Also amid the attacks are Universal Music, who once encouraged the very same file sharing tactics they now wish to charge people with using.

The root of Friday night’s story is the person(s) in control of the LOIC botnet effectively betrayed all politically active anons involved in deliberations and general IRC channels, handing their identities directly over to the federal government. In a long campaign against online anonymity, attacking the Department of Justice website “as a means of protest” is a strategic political move (on behalf of the United States Government) which appears on the surface to protest SOPA while in fact falling in line with larger plan to constrict freedom of the Internet on the whole.

When Rolling Stone magazine questioned Julian Assange about Anonymous, possibly his largest group of supporters, he said,We were involved with Anonymous from 2008. They were providing us with material related to our investigations into abuses by the Church of Scientology. It was a young pranksterish Internet culture, not something at all to be taken seriously.”

How a conspiracy theory became reality

Among anons, the rationale is as follows: (1) a major part of the collective implicates you in a LOIC attack on the DoJ website using malicious software inadvertently downloaded by a relatively large group of anons who were, unfortunately, tricked into visiting an unsafe web address address, automatically linking them into the botnet. (2) The botnet strikes, leaving your IP address on the long list of attackers involved, which, (3) signals your involvement with anonymous collectives to the authorities who simply go down the list subpoenaing the corresponding ISPs for later prosecution “at-will.”

In almost all previous cases – the LOIC attacks on PayPal and Mastercard, for example – your identity was handed over for prosecution to authorities if you were in the top 1,000 participants of the DDoS attack on their website, since government resources are not unlimited. But in this case, the identities of anons were handed directly to the government, logged by government machines for safekeeping and a few thousand anons’ names just got added to an already long list of domestic surveillance subjects. Worse yet, these are innocent bystanders who did not volunteer to participate in a DDoS attack, but were implemented anyway.

You hear that? Shh. They’re listening in now. On you, this time.

Julian Assange is waiting for the freedom to operate which may never come back in his lifetime, because “In relation to the United States, we’ll have to wait for the revolution.” Inside Anonymous, an all-too familiar feeling is sinking in as hundreds, if not thousands, of people sit at home waiting to be arrested. DDoS attacks, while somewhat useful for sending a message, are becoming widely recognized as the blunted tool of their own eventual demise.

Advice from Assange

“I have a lot of sympathy for journalists who are trying to protect their sources. [ Remaining anonymous is ] very hard now. Unless you’re an electronic-surveillance expert or you have frequent contact with one, you must stay off the Net and mobile phones. You really have to just use the old techniques, paper and whispering in people’s ears. Leave your mobile phones behind. Don’t turn them off, but tell your source to leave electronic devices in their offices. We are now in a situation where countries are recording billions of hours of conversations, and proudly proclaiming that you don’t have to select which telephone call you’re intercepting, because you intercept every telephone call.”

Julian Assange

To Anonymous (2.0)

Gay Fucks Suit
Tea Party Movement

Big new websites are springing up to say the same old shit, big old bad guys now look like mute Bill O’Reillys, and there are still serious problems so large in the political system, human injustices so glaring yet so daunting, no anonymous Twitter feed dare mention them.

Brace yourselves, kids, because I’m about to let you have it. Playtime is over and it’s high time you pulled your heads out of your asses now.

You kids are too stupid to acknowledge the host lest it legitimize the parasite. I’m talking about congressional vote selling, telcoms stealing your internet, campaign finance reform. Attack this shit, you pussies! God damn it, help the real world fucking change something! You can’t DDoS cash incentives. Of course, you won’t be DDoSing SHIT when Cox Communications caps your bandwidth but what do you know about that?

You like to pretend like you’re doing something so controversial your pathetic lives are actually in some sort of danger but you can’t stop anything meaningful, nothing truly sinister, from taking place – or else you really would have a gun stuck in your face at 4 a.m. but you won’t. Because the real world doesn’t fuck around, but you wouldn’t know anything about that either. So you prance around like a faggot in his mother’s underwear behind Twitter accounts, IRC networks, Gay Fawkes masks, and talk about how badass you think you are to 1,000 people doing the same thing.

That’s just your behavior, though. And I don’t care about any of your ideals because I can see plainly that you don’t either. You’re just not passionate about anything except #opBART only because you’ve made that “operation” more about your faggy “anonymous” movement than a boy being shot – than freedom of speech itself. Remember when protests were called protests and didn’t need gung-ho internet terminology attached to them to motivate the youth? Yeah, me either, because my generation’s never had a spine.

The only useful effort I’ve seen put forth by people calling themselves anonymous – that doesn’t appear to be some anarchistic impulse of provocation, that doesn’t appear to be juvenile nor embarrass me on your behalf, is the effort of @AnonMedics. Damn, that’s awesome. You better be glad somebody’s following you around, ready to pull you out of whatever trouble your juvenile delinquency gets you into. Because I sure as hell wouldn’t wipe your ass if you shat yourself at my protest.

Whether you’re #antisec or #prosec – nobody gives a fuck because to onlookers you are full of redfaced angry nerdrage that embarrasses anyone who ever thought there might be this mysterious behind the scenes hacker group making big things happen. Grayhats, whitehats, blackhats – all subjective terminology like ‘terrorist’ and ‘freedom fighter’ except the only people who give a fuck is you and your hapless victims.

Also, I thought you were anarchists? So then why is this pussy crying about an attack on the state? You kids are inconsistent, shameful failures.

Your sweeping general statements about politics and law are laughably reproducible. Your arguments sound like Monday’s Tea Party advertisement debate. Your “news sources” are masturbatory rantholes. Your process of d0xing the non-believers is reprehensible. Your work ethic is slovenly. Your web design skills make me frown and uhh, an Anonymous networking site? *snickers* Your writing skills don’t exist. Like Milhouse, your “movement” is a forced meme that gets you banned from 4chan, only faster.

Your movement is fake.

anonifeld

This article is part of Anonifeld – a series about nothing (Anonymous).

Murdoch Family Enslaves Cheetahs To Edit Truth Faster

News of the Chat of the News World

Chronicle.SU–NewsCorp’s premiere chat service, News of the Chat of the News World, functions by way of a high-speed underground network of rare Emperor Cheetahs, which are blocked for their usefulness by anti-cheetah hospital security systems everywhere.

Cheetah
Cheetahs fly through the network at the speed of sound, jaws agape, devouring packets you didn't even request, and ready to suck blood.

Expert analysis:

Years of warmongering, bloodthirstiness, Kahane-level Zionism and utter hatred of Arabs had not entirely divested Mr. Murdoch of his dealings with the Arab Cheetahs. Saudi money had acquired quite a bit of his Neocon twistiness, and finally the Arab Cheetahs were allowed over that tricky border between Egypt and Gaza — where nearby, on the Egyptian side, only, like, six people in a group are allowed to walk at a time — and into the D.C.-sized deathaplex they ruptured. Their lightweight tails smacked against the backs of their noble legs as they poured into the world’s largest prison camp, trails of saliva, like shoelaces, lapping against their forelegs.

-Tyler Bass

“It’s a lolfest if you don’t know what to expect before going down there,” reported freelance cheetah dealer Joe Bradley, 45. “Innocent people getting d0x3d left and right, cheetahs prancing around at high volume with hateful messages pinned to their shock collars, and they’re like, ‘What the fuck, I  should be in the savannah pouncing on the fucking river, drinking caribou and throttling gazelle, not running copyedits to and  fro. Fuck that wrinkled old prick!'”

Murdoch’s viewers have been internationally recognized to possess the lowest, basest possible understanding of the dynamics that created the Fox News — oops, I mean, the second Iraq War, the one following the harrowing, “courageous” embargo of the southwest Asian country that killed billions of innocent cheetahs. That country is known to us as North Korea.

Wearing Gacy-like clown makeup at time of press, Mr. Murdoch announced that it made complete sense that his average viewer possesses the cognitive/reality coherence that they would call “Osama bin Laden” “Saddam Hussein.” This is a result of mass-consumption of furry pornography.

I thought I could make an edifice as large as those structures in Bioshock III take off.”

Rupert Murdoch
NewsCorp

“I would never have imagined that people would have bought so much of my flag-fellating bullshit. Ever since Bush I was able to make that incubator-baby crap fly, I thought I could make an edifice as large as those structures in Bioshock III take off.”

“Good doggies do tricks,” added Mr. Murdoch, red food-coloring dye, as used by goth kids, running down opposite sides of his mouth along with saliva, red ink trailing into the white.

In spite of their rebellious demeanors, the cheetahs remain polite because should they resist, they will be put to death, skinned and crafted into spectacularly jewel-encrusted thongs for Murdoch to prance around in.

“They’re not outspoken about their plight but they should be,” said cheetah specialist Speedy McFeely of the Bristol Motor Speedway, Virginia and fucken redneck.

Adrian “Cheetah” Chen approached the Virginia physics expert and without asking permission bent him over and snorted a line of cocaine off the small of his back. With lips pursed, Adrian softly sucked his dick, which instead of semen, leaked the phone records of celebrities and d0x of LulzSec hackers.

One cheetah busted out the cocaine in front of reporters as Murdoch – who audibly gasped at the faux pas – pondered it a moment and opted instead to cup his genitals crying, “Not here, man. The cameras. Shit’s tainted with skin-rotting levamisole. You know what that does to my ballsack.”

Murdoch hatefully orders the reporters out of his hospital suite and defecates in his bed. The hateful troll-cheetah delivers Murdoch his percocets, and Murdoch takes out a small tray, a credit card and a rolled up tin-bob note.

“Who’s the pussy now, bitch?” roars Murdoch. “We’ve got to get these children off of Google+. It’s like a disease, man a fucking KID [emphasis added] disease. Delete the little fucker’s emails to his grandma, if that’s what it takes. They’re worthless, because they were written by a  CHILD [emphasis added].” Rupert Murdoch buries his face into the fur of a cocaine-dusted cheetah and insufflates a full breath of cocaine as it wanders idly by. His eyes then glaze over and turn a fiery red.

Come here son, I’ll tuck your shirt in for you.”

Rupert Murdoch

“Show me your MySpace before you go!” calls out Murdoch, half-erect and blind from cocaine. “Come here son, I’ll tuck your shirt in for you.”

To Mr. Murdoch, the cheetahs look like small children, ready for molestation. Murdoch passes out, drool glazing his wrinkled face.

 Media Mogul dreams of Yao Ming and his network of cheetahs. In his dreams, he snorts a line of crushed  percocets to kill the pain.

“Thank God it’s not that levamisole-tainted bullshit,” he remarks to the pool-boy, “and thank God it’s lab-produced morphine.

Krokodil gets the Cheetahs high, makes their dicks grow and nurtures their latent homosexual tendencies as a means of population control. They cook up various drugs in Murdoch’s Russian  apartment, and come out stinking of iodine. Murdoch reeks of Cheetah anus, the latent evidence of a recent shitler hitler still slightly noticable. It is grim, but oddly arousing to this reporter.

Cheetah Mogul, following his addiction to rare cheetahs

“I’m assembling a panel of premade emoticons to tell a story because I am  autistic,” Murdoch tells the press. “Ctrl+v for autism. Look only at mouths while communicating.”A new trend in communication is sweeping the Internet, churches and wi-fi cafés. “Create a rage comic if you want to propose to your husband or call out a  troll,” said Murdoch. “Create a rage comic while high on Krokodil, before taking a line of levamisol-tainted cocaine. My flesh is rotting away and all I can do  is read the next rage comic. Twitter has become my only outlet for  communication, after rage comics.”

Murdoch is visibly upset by this point and releases an odor resembling that of decomposing flesh. It is decomposing flesh. The cheetahs pull the plug on his life-support and he dies a slow painful death emitting a gurgling puddle of feces, writhing in a nightmarish hell, and being mercilessly ripped apart and taunted by his once loyal army of cheetahs.

 @ktrout word up to that #rotting

 @mogul yo dawg you got any #krokodil, I’m trying to get down

“Just looked at the first reddit post in a long while,” Murdoch mumbles to himself before documentary filmmakers overlapping with the Chronicle.SU doing coverage of the long-term effects of cheetah-addiction. He gently rolls the click-wheel of his mouse down a cat-lover furryboard gleefully tapping his foot and singing “im a little man, also evil, also in to cats”

“To avoid  downvotes, everyone prefaces their statements with an apology and an explanation of what their comment is not.” #fagreddit

This message brought to you by Lebal Drocer, Inc. Blenders

“Forgive me father, for I have blend!”

Will It Blend?
Bible Edition – By Adrian ForeSkin

Works Cited
By Barrett Brown

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/iub5k/the_official_death_of_the_rage_comic/

http://marymicrogram.blogspot.com/2011/07/skin-rotting-substance-found-in-us.html

http://sunpig.com/martin/archives/2011/07/03/google-made-my-son-cry.html

The story of Bullshit-Ass COPPA. Your kids aren’t that special, fucking rubes.

Sluthouse 5 by Jack Vonnegut

http://twitter.com/#!/Hatefiend/status/93729178310025216

http://i.imgur.com/fW7GC.png

https://twitter.com/#!/Slashleen

Descent into Anonymous

Part 1-Lulz from Anons

Anonymous is the go to collective of hackers for media outlets that want to drum up fear for internet freedom. The weapon of choice for Anonymous is a distributed denial of service attack, also known as DDoS. DDoS works by overloading a web server to the point where it can no longer function for a few hours. Nothing about it is very threatening in reality.

I’m writing this in a public library, sick with paranoia that these preteens around me are Anons. They look like Anons. In Anonspeak an Anon is a member of Anonymous. Anons will deny they are a member of anything. This is just the base of the inside-out pyramid of contradictions that form the body of Anonymous ideology.

Anons are far above the lowly label of group. Anonymous prefers the self-gratifying label of ‘hyper-consciousness.’ In truth, most Anons are a collection of sub-conscious slaves, sucked in by ingenious propaganda. Anonymous might be the latest development in bot net technology. A bot net is kind of like a large bank of computers that can be drawn upon for a DDoS attack. Hackers used to have to write computer viruses to create a bot net. Anonymous is like a bot net that is spread and maintained by viral ideology.

Anonymous is easy to get sucked into. I became obsessed myself. I don’t blame these kids for wanting to be activists, I understand that. Defiance is the appeal. Yet it doesn’t take a lot of insight to see that the true feature of an Anon is not activism or defiance. It is submission.

I’m an expert troll with over a decade of experience. In AnonSpeak a troll is a highly honorable position of power. A troll disconnects himself from all preconceived notions and creates a narrative that is designed to outrage others. Trolls feed off of lulz. Derived from the older acronym LOL, which means laughing out loud, lulz has a deeper connotation of self-satisfaction. I wrote a masterful opinion piece, every detail designed to outrage Anonymous and challenge as many of their ideologies as possible. I published it to AnonNews and traffic to my web site increased 50-fold overnight. It was cake. In AnonSpeak, cake is something that was just too damned easy.

If only I could have dropped it there. There were too many lulz to be had, too much cake for the eating. I had drawn myself into their twisted virtual world.

Part 2-Descent

My magnum opus of trolling art rocketed to the top of the list of least popular stories on AnonNews. The piece was entitled “Why Anonymous is completely irrelevant.” Among other things, I criticized AnonNews for putting up advertisements and using PayPal to take donations. Within a day, the ads were down. AnonNews began to accept donations through a different service, too. The commentary on AnonNews was the most delicious kind of troll food. They were “butthurt” to say the least. The lulz were more addictive than any drug I have ever taken. There was too much troll food for any single troll to eat. Some began eating the scraps, even adopting my pseudonym ‘Kilgore Trout’ when it suited them.

This public library computer lab is the type of place that Anons would congregate, in my imagination. There are the furtive whispers of children, defective fluorescent lights. The lightly clattering keys and snapping mice beat out a modern tribal rhythm that seems to be somehow perfectly in step with the disorganized light show. Insane thoughts have been planted in their heads, silently manipulating the vacillating children subjects into organized action.

I played my ego, speaking of my many talents and the cake that influence over them was. I even issued a press release to warn Anonymous how easy they were to hijack while taking credit for doing so. I was the lord king glutton of trolls, overfed and over read. I’ll even share my favorite piece of troll food. Some anon rightly accused me of pilfering from Vonnegut, and said that I did not live up to the name of Kilgore Trout. I still go into uncontrollable fits of laughter at the idea of not living up to Vonnegut’s alter ego, his exercise in brutal self deprecation.

I didn’t sleep, I missed work. When I did work I would break into hysterics, unable to stop laughing about how much power I had over these morons. It had all started out as a joke, but I could sense my influence, it was something tangible. I changed from a being of flesh and blood into a virtual body comprised of nothing but lulz. Every affectation and trait that defined the super hero “hyperconsciousness” these children had built their cult around invaded my being. I had become their own hideous reflection.

Part 3-Westboro Baptist

Westboro Baptist is a cult run by Fred Phelps that uses strategies similar to trolling so that it can sustain itself. They go to soldiers’ funerals and call everyone there a bunch of fag lovers. When the fists fly, they profit. Anonymous posted a press release promising DDoS attacks on the activists at Westboro Baptist shortly after my influence had risen. Westboro Baptist responded by posting their own press release on AnonNews. It said quite simply, “bring it on.”

I went on the warpath. These were my lulz, not Fred Phelps’.  I was in charge here, not some shitty church. I began to meddle with these children’s minds. I dropped my pseudonym. I was Anonymous, hyperconsciousness in the flesh. I spread rumors that Westboro Baptist Church had posted the threat themselves. I began to call anyone who disagreed a WBCfag and accused them of infiltrating Anonymous. Within a few hours, multiple press releases reflected this twisted version of reality and reinforced the point of view that had descended from my hegemony. All attacks were called off, and I celebrated my victory over Fred Phelps and Anonymous with a 40 oz. for me and all my friends.

Even then, I had continued to accept the idea that there were no leaders. Yet as someone who had found the method to exercise control over Anonymous, I began to see evidence of an invisible hand.

Despite the lack of support, Anonymous was insistent on attacking Westboro Baptist. A DDoS attack was impossible because I had scuttled the mass interest. Instead, a small group or individual gained root access to Westboro Baptist’s web servers and defaced them. All the power I had gained was gone as easily as it had come. Someone was surely pulling some strings from behind the scenes, employing a kind of virtual secret police to get the job done.

Part 4-The Hegemony Strikes Back

I know they’re going to come after me. The threats have been mounting. They’re going to deface my web site and publish all my e-mails and chat logs. I’m ready for it. If Anonymous was more grounded in reality, they would threaten to murder me.

Anonymous bears all the hallmarks of a totalitarian regime. First of these is the derisive labeling of enemies. Anons call me a namefag. Namefag is of course Anonspeak for enemy. The group of allies I have made are called moralfags. This is also Anonspeak for enemy. I pity these exploited young men that have been tricked into hatred.

Anons believe that anonymity protects them from the government. This is a fantasy. They also believe it can protect them from outsiders who would hijack their movement. What a joke! I committed my most vile acts of influence by assuming anonymity and abusing the nature of these weak young men. The hand that silently manipulates these kids knows that preaching anonymity, anarchy, and nihilism keeps them shackled with totality. It keeps out new ideas and new leaders. Their naivety is exploited just as in any totalitarian state.

Anonymous is manipulated by propaganda. Every press release is punctuated with the following mottoe:

We are Anonymous

We are legion

We do not forgive

We do not forget

Expect us.

Press releases appear criminal and intimidating. They use fiery language and incite anger. They make Anons feel part of something not only important, but bad ass. These kids go and tell girls at school that they are Anons in the hopes it will get them some action. Hell, it might even work. Oh, baby, won’t you wear that Guy Fawkes mask while we dry hump?

The insecurities and fantasies of Anons are also exploited. The pervasive use of ‘fag’ in Anonspeak plays on the young men’s uncomfortable sexuality. They are frustrated living in a world where adults control them, so they slip into a false reality. Here, Anonymous is a godlike super being that they can worship and be a part of. It is a kind of personality cult constructed around a hyperconsciousness that is lifted straight out of science fiction. These kids DDoS Egyptian government web sites and then take credit for the entire revolution. The propaganda compares Anons to protesters in the streets. They are fed the lie that one day Anonymous will bring freedom to everyone on Earth. It is a very pleasant fantasy.

Anonymous shows every sign of being manipulated by somebody. I know what kind of mind is behind Anonymous. It is the pet project of a genius with an unnatural ability to create viral ideas. He or she has carefully crafted Anonymous just to take it for a joyride. To this person, the power from Anonymous is its own end. Yet I would also consider the possibility that Anonymous has been carefully engineered by a government or multi-national corporation. To them, Anonymous is only a means to quicken the erosion of internet freedom, an imminent threat to their power.