Anonymous, you are my very personal army

Two weeks ago, I published my own “dox” on pastebin. Every time I make a comment or post an article, someone links to these “dox.” It gets funnier every time. Someone out there must think the “dox” are so embarrassing and discrediting. Well, the joke’s on you, Anonymous. You’re doing exactly what I want you to. You’re my personal army.

The e-mail is real, and I want the whole world to see it. The OKCupid is real too, but I dressed it up just for you before I posted it. Gave it the embarrassing feel of a real “doxing.” Everyone fell for it, too.

Thing is, some hacker publishing just one of my e-mails doesn’t make any sense at all. Anons really must not care to be analytical about anything and this is proof. Anyone who looked at the “dox” with even the slightest amount of critical thought would have seen instantly that it could have been posted by only one person. That’s me!

I really don’t give a shit what you think about my personal life. I couldn’t care less. You have no context to judge, and your childish name-calling has never once bothered me. Once again, you’ve done exactly what I wanted. I made Anonymous rabidly publicize a personal letter because the girl I wrote it to was a complete bitch to me. Now the whole world knows my side of the story, and it is all thanks to you.

Congratulations, Anonymous! You are my very personal army! Send me pizzas, I’m hungry. Send me strippers, I’m lonely. Give me a prank call, I want to hear from you. Send me boxes, I know who could use them. Hack my computer to pieces and find out how great I am. Deface this very article, it is backed up where you can never touch it. DDoS the Chronicle for as long as you want and give us more publicity. These are all things I want!

Whoever holds the keys to hate holds the keys to Anonymous, for it is all Anon knows. I am trollface, watch me grin. When will you find a way to take the lulz from me? Never, for I am your king!

Reporting from the front lines of the World Cyber War

There really is no historical context that adequately frames the World Cyber War. The warriors are disparate and their numbers are unclear. The tactics are most often symbolic, but sometimes vicious and personal. The target is usually an establishment but occasionally an individual. Governments, corporations, and even fringe religious cults have found themselves under constant symbolic threat representative of massive public distrust and disgust. Anyone who angers the population enough will fall symbolic prey, hated by mankind. This phenomenon is known as Anonymous.

Anonymous has become increasingly fractured because of its anarchic and nihilistic origin. The users who try to define this anarchy are known among Anons as moralfags. They attempt to influence the creation of a political cult around promises of utopia. These moralfags use the oxymoronic ideology of anarchy to control others. Several splinter groups have tried and failed to hijack Anonymous in this way and a few have succeeded in some small measure. Still, true Anarchy seems to have stayed decidedly on top of the moralfags. This is evidenced by the recent DDoS attacks on AnonNews from a massive bot-net comprised of over 4,000 machines. No credit has been taken for the attack because the attackers are not moralfags and the action speaks for itself. AnonNews has long been a source for propaganda of all kinds. By its very nature, propaganda is the weapon of the moralfag. Only Chronicle.SU has turned propaganda into a tool to destroy propaganda.

The news feed on the Internet is not a simple 24 hour cycle like with papers and television. It is a behemoth so starved for information that it eats its own diarrhea to keep itself fed. Can Anonymous blame us for gleefully feeding this monster poison? When we claimed AnonNews was run by the US Government, the story was copy-pasted to more than just a handful of news outlets. The photoshopped image of a fed Anon behind a podium was photoshopped and then photoshopped again. Some people actually seemed to accept that AnonNews really was run by the Government.

AnonNews probably isn’t run by the government, but it’s a lot like any other propaganda outlet. It is a source for misinformation and ideology to be ingested into the diarrhea eating beast. Only Chronicle.SU is willing to stand up to this beast and feed it poison. I was paid for this service by having my personal information, my dox, published on AnonNews. It is  my guess that this is why AnonNews suffered such a vicious DDoS attack just a few hours after my personal information was published on their site. Yes, I just claimed partial responsibility for the recent DDoS attack on AnonNews. You have my dox. Call the cops on me. I dare you.

I’ve shamelessly inserted myself and my opinions into nearly every piece of writing about Anonymous. Now I do it with righteous purpose exposed. I got doxed and I deserved it. I engineered it by becoming an enemy to Anonymous. There are conspiracy theories about the nature of Chronicle.SU all over the internet. Some have theorized we are an experiment at manipulation from NewsMax or the US Government. Many have shared the belief that we are in fact being paid a lot of money to do what we do. I have only been paid by having all my most personal information published. To me, this is payment enough.

Posted via pastebin straight to the news feed at AnonNews.org, my dox were perhaps the most vicious piece of media to ever grace AnonNews. It was personal, misguided, and outright hateful. The link to my dox and all other dox were removed before AnonNews went back up. These were the stones hurled at Wilbur Mercer as he summited the metaphorical mountain of human struggle. With me as substitute for Mercer, the collective has felt pain for the first time. The collective has begun to learn empathy.