Geo quits again

CHRONICLE.SU – ANONYMOUS HACKED SONY INVESTIGATOR GEOHOTZ LEAVES THE INTERNET CHRONICLE FOR BETTER, FEWER THINGS . . .

NPR EXECUTIVE IMPLIES CRITICISM OF FATAH VERBOTEN

Baltimore – Sunni Khalid posted a “controversial” question on Facebook regarding America’s involvement with Israel and has been fired. Tyler Bass asks why. . . .

Nobody gives a shit about your Facebook birthday

Fuck your Facebook page. . . .

A Social Experiment

When blind dates attack! . . .

The Story of Open Eyes and the Effect on Society

A Facebooker antagonizes fear-ridden girl, sparking personal revolution. Showing solidarity, the Soviet Chronicle follows suit. . . .

Why I can't do Facebook

Elf Wax columnist and internet rapist Al Stephenson delivers a biting review of the social networking fucksite, Facebook. . . .

CAPS LOCK ULTRA

Lebal Drocer unleashes a new product on humanity. “This time it’s legal,” says spokesman Jeffrey Winebergeron. . . .

The Third World War on the Third World

NEW! MCMAFIA FROM MCDONALD’S, sold only in Italy. Read to find out what Sarah Palin’s hand has to say. Spoiler Alert: it’s not a handjob or else she wouldn’t have retarded children. . . .

God damn internet

The internet has taken control of our long-range nuclear missile silos. Richmond, VA readies itself for mandatory evacuation. Prepare for chaos. . . .

Facebook drinking at an all-time high

Getting drunk and sitting at Facebook is the new way to party, and Elf Wax Times goes in-depth to find out why, and with whom we can score. . . .