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Your keyboard is spying on you

New sonic keyboard technology uses your computer’s built-in microphone to monitor the sounds of your individual keystrokes, logging everything you do, according to new research conducted by Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour and his team of unpaid graduate students.

This intuitive method of eavesdropping combines new with the old by “listening in” on audio footage through . . .

White House Demands Assange Assassination

The hounds are loose. It might not be okay to call for certain people’s demise, but Assange is still fair game! . . .

Peter King To Rescue Fear-Gripped Midwest From Shariah Law

The only “serious” differences in fundie types are alterations in the underlying cartoon narrative of anthropology, familial histories, flying men and talking donkeys. . . .

Murdoch Family Enslaves Cheetahs To Edit Truth Faster

How NewsCorp leads the way in timeliness and journalistic integrity – A scathing tale of addiction to drugs, sex and exotic animals. . . .

Rupert Murdoch is responsible for the hacking of 9/11 victims

The time has come for Rupert Murdoch to step down. Like Anthony Weiner, he has made a terrible mistake and no longer deserves his place of power. America deserves better. We are a good Christian Nation, and Fox News has betrayed us all. . . .