Internet Chronicle enters incredible “Stage III” of spectacular human development study

The Lebal Drocer Hate-Coil "Mind Over Matter"
Lebal Drocer Laboratories
Lebal Drocer Laboratories boldly guides us into a Brave New World

Raleigh T. Hatesec, chairman of the Workers’ Party of Democratic People’s Republic of United States of America, chairman of the DPRUSA State Board of Ethics in Human Experimentation and supreme commander of the American People’s Army, gave field guidance to a Washington, D.C. Orphanage and Primary School where children are grown in a petri dish and harvested for their soul essence.

He went round the school building, hostel and other places to learn in detail about the construction and preparations for operating the facility.

Pleased that the Spawning Chamber was built in a modern and fashionable style, he said that all classrooms were put on a multi-functional and IT basis to suit the features of primary education and equipped with varieties of teaching facilities, where children will learn to worship Hatesec, and never question Him.

He noted that the school has well-furnished rooms for education in Raleigh T. Hatesec’s patriotism, room for the members of the Children’s Union, nature study room, music and dance room, and an interlocking room-sized metal grinder for graduation.

All spaces in the learning center are devoted to acquiring knowledge and common sense as the corridor is decorated with diverse paintings of Raleigh Theodore Hatesec, and other things which attract children’s interest and ensure visual, scientific and vivid effect.

Visiting Second-Year Class A having Korean language lesson, he learned in detail, with fatherly care, about how pupils are taught and how teaching aids are used, their cognition ability, and their quality of unending servitude to the benevolent Hatesec. Children wept and women cried who were showered in his love.

Noting that the hostel was built in such way that it not only suits children’s minds but enables them to live without any inconveniences, he added that he was satisfied with everything such as bedrooms and dining room, barber’s and clinic, and his bed of living human women back at home.

The quality of the country’s overall education including higher education depends on the quality of primary and secondary indoctrination and a shortcut to building a talented nation lies in thoroughly implementing the Party’s policy of prioritizing primary and secondary indoctrination, he said, giving important instructions that would serve as guidelines for managing and operating the people factory.

Before it can be used in the preparation of Beautiful and Glorious Salvation of All People at the End of Time, Soul Essence is separated from a dense slurry of blood of bone.
Before it can be used in the preparation of Beautiful and Glorious Salvation of All People at the End of Time, Soul Essence is separated from a dense slurry of blood of bone.

He earnestly asked the officials and the teaching staff of the school to take good care of its pupils, reflecting his wish, so that they may grow up uprightly, stoutly and cheerfully without the slightest sadness and worry, since Stage III Soul Essence can only be manufactured and refined through a rich human experience.

He had a photo session with the pupils and teaching staff of D.C. Orphanage and Primary School.

He was accompanied by Angstrom H. Troubadour, member of the Presidium of the Political Bureau of USSA Central Committee, vice-chairman of the State Board of Ethics in Human Experimentation and vice-chairman of Lebal Drocer, Inc.

He said he had never seen such an efficient use of resources to produce Soul Essence for Stage III of his glorious new plan.

It wasn’t hatesec all along, he said.

“It was me.”

Neoliberal partnerships advance chronicle.su agenda ‘one step closer to peaceful annihilation’

Lebal Drocer, Inc. Zombie Apocalypse Edition
It was just cats, everywhere: Kilgoar
hatesec is a cat on the internet

The Internet Chronicle has combined forces with Hate Security by Hatesec Enterprises, a Lebal Drocer affiliate.

The new partnership’s dual purpose is to simultaneously hack your iPhone using powerful, state-of-the-art decryption techniques, and provide a propaganda mouthpiece for the ruling elite, who got that way because they have earned it.

You’re reading it here first: Reading chronicle.su is not just emotionally harmful, it is now a national security concern. You should have read our privacy policy.

There are doubts.

“Damn, son. Ya know you done fucked up, right?” – kilgoar

But through our efforts, We, the people will rise up against the tyranny of chronicle.su, and restore order to an otherwise verdant, and peaceful world.

It is for that reason that we preemptively name this day “Victory Day” to commemorate mankind’s erasure of everything but the myriad black memories of atrocities carried out by The Internet Chronicle. This is like, the 9/11 of chronicle.su right now. I mean, we are seizing the means of production. You know? This place.

Never Forget.

[Pause here for a moment of silence]

[Thank you]

Now let’s see what’s inside those phones!

hatesec out

*drops the mic*

chronicle.su is brought to you proudly by Lebal Drocer, INC.

Black holes look just like the sun

The Lebal Drocer Hate-Coil: A little girl shows her family how she believes 46.789% of our known universe will die in a gamma ray burst originating from the Great Attractor

Agents of entropy, black holes are real and they are all around you

spacetimeYou say cheese and the camera steals your soul. What a smile! How many pictures of you are out there, capturing that magical moment when you pretended to be happy on command? What a smile. Such a warm memory. Relive it, exactly as it happened, alongside 999 photographs – all of them magical – from the same evening.

With a swipe of the finger, you’ll rip through a hundred without blinking as the night cascades up and down a smartphone. And wherever it stops, you’ll think to yourself, “Damn, what a smile.”

The lensing maw rearranges the lines of your face into a glowing stream of atoms, the light of which is suspended for eternity on the boundary of an event horizon. An illusory glow, the core of each galaxy swallows light but leaves the casings for astronomers to peer out in wonder.

“What a smile,” the photographer dispassionately exclaims as he folds spacetime, hilariously, first into a donut and then into a convex wireframe bowing and twisting under the weight of your perception. Like it knows its being watched. God is shy, but God damn, what a smile.

The donut folds over like a wolf in combat and collapses into your eyes, grinning on its way down, watching you from the corner of her eye. Eager and thirsty, spacetime rips itself apart to give you a taste of the river of light. But you can’t describe it to anyone. You can’t talk about it, because no word in the vocabulary can approach it without destroying some aspect of its inherent Truth. All the others can do is look at the stupid smirk on your otherwise stoic cat face, and laugh in your direction, and haphazardly declare – not without authentic surprise – “What a smile!”

Murdoch Sets Sights on Internet Chronicle

Rupert Murdoch looking evil as fuckAs chronicle.su strikes up lucrative new advertising deals, rumors suggest Australian media mogul Rupert Murdoch is closing a deal of his own with Lebal Drocer, Inc.

Business analysts predict the transaction could transfer majority control of The Internet Chronicle to News Corp, Murdoch’s multi-national, benevolent corporation.

Longtime Chronicle editors Kilgoar Trout and Hatesec reportedly met with Murdoch on his yacht Monday morning off the coast of Tripoli. The editors are in Libya on an embed with the US Defense Department to document the extraordinary success of the 2011 NATO humanitarian bombing campaign.

After stepping off the yacht, Kilgoar and Hatesec apparently held an impromptu press conference for a bunch of fishermen and dock workers. Speaking in broken Arabic, Hatesec reportedly told the workers that they “would not be taking questions at this time” and to “call our lawyers, you fucking mutts.” The fishermen merely shrugged and sailed off into the Mediterranean.

Rupert Murdoch swoons Kilgoar (left) and Hatesec (right)

Empires are vast. This move fits in with Murdoch’s recent consolidation of influential media outlets across the political spectrum. After acquiring VICE, Murdoch set his sights towards other alternative news outlets, in search of the next big thing to contaminate.

An aide to Murdoch, speaking on condition of anonymity, said he came across the Chronicle one night while searching for kiddie porn on the Deep Web. After perusing its contents, his hard-on became stiff as a cricket bat, especially after reading Kilgoar’s Pulitzer Prize winning report on Mel Gibson’s joining Rage Against the Machine.

“Rupert likes honest reporting. He is committed to integrity and truth telling in the newsroom,” the aide said. “So naturally he wants to acquire the Chronicle.”

While Murdoch’s influence is often subtle and benign on his media outlets, it is possible that he will censor the editorial duo at the Chronicle, both of whom are hardline Democrats.

Dr. Angstrum H. Trubidur, a professor of media studies on sabbatical in Benghazi, said of the move, “Hell, them boys Kilgoar and Hatesec? Yeah they don’t know who they’re dealing with. What, they think they are still gonna be able to print hard news? Le’me tell ye, they’ll be going the VICE route before long: glittery, vapid, meaningless reporting while the truth is left on the cutting room floor.”

In a company-wide e-mail sent by Kilgoar right before publication, he assured the staff that their wages and benefits would not be affected if any merger were to happen. Reporters at the Chronicle were relieved as, unlike VICE, the Chronicle is known for paying livable wages to its staff and showering benefits upon even the most meager of its contributors.

When asked to comment on the proposed merger, Hatesec replied via e-mail, “Go fuck yourself.”

Chronicle Editor Caught With Pants Down

Hatesec's male gaze once reportedly ruptured a young girl's hymen
Hatesec’s male gaze once reportedly ruptured a young girl’s hymen

ASPEN, Colo. — The 9-1-1 call came shortly after five AM.

A pleading voice whimpered into the line, “He’s got his pants down… he’s got a bottle of lotion… he’s… he’s… Hatesec?”

The woman on the other end of the line was a pre-teen beauty pageant runner-up, coincidentally also one of many intelligent Chronicle readers.

Hatesec was ultimately apprehended by Boulder County PD early Tuesday morning on the pre-teens lawn and subsequently booked on charges of “lewd conduct”, “trespassing”, and “hate-masturbating,” a spite-filled manner of self-pleasure that victimizes others.

A spokesperson for the police department stayed tight-lipped, saying little, “This looks like a textbook case of a Peeping Democrat. Another Obama supporter targeting pure Whites.”

After a preliminary search of Hatesec’s apartment, the police reportedly found evidence that links the notorious Internet editor to the unsolved murder of JonBenet Ramsey, famous child beauty pageant star killed on Christmas Day in 1996.

The pre-adolescent in question this time said she recognized Hatesec by his vengeful scorn, erratic behavior, and irregular, terroristic barking. She also mentioned his Internet Chronicle t-shirt, white stains lining its base, as an identifying feature of the predatory editor. Or Preditor.

A whistleblower-hacker who defected from the Internet Chronicle provided authorities with official chat logs gleaned from chronicle.su servers in Chernobyl.

Hatesec: Yeah, I run the Chronicle. BFD, though. What are you wearing?
juicy_brooke2003: hehe :/
Hatesec: Fuck you. What are you wearing?
juicy_brooke2003: just got home from ballet. so my tutu and slippers
Hatesec: Take them off, slowly.
juicy_brooke2003: what?
Hatesec: SLOWLY. * pulls down pants *
juicy_brooke2003: um… no :/
Hatesec: Bitch, don’t make me come to your house and hate-rape you. I can make it look like you were asking for it.
juicy_brooke2003: dude, i just messaged you to say I liked your last article?
Hatesec: omw

While these chat logs indeed appear incriminating, the Chronicle’s resident pederast and forensic analyst, Angstrom H. Troub’adore said the evidence is “hardly enough to convict such a strong voter like Hatesec. Conjecture. Purely.”

Following in the long line of American dissidents like Barrett Brown (LOL), the Boulder County PD has issued a gag order, refraining the Democrat editor to speak with the liberal jew media.

His trial is set for November 2016. It is unclear whether he will be allowed to vote for Hillary while awaiting trial.

Soda Shaq Review Part III – MAN DRINKS WHOLE CAN

INTERNET — Old Brutus from chronicle.su Lebal Drocer, Inc. Hate Radio® brings you the sharpest, most scathing review to date of the “vanilla cream” variant of Soda Shaq. Old Brutus® describes Soda Shaq as “a nutritious, all natural health soda offered exclusively by white-owned 7-Eleven® stores.”

Old Brutus said he would like to remind his viewers that he is in no way affiliated with the Internet at large, and added that he thinks the Web is little more than an instrument of terror used by the United States Government to instill fear into the hearts of dissident authors.

“The Internet, and that whole thing, I don’t know, man,” Old Brutus® explained. “Once you really think about it, it’s all the same, real life and the Internet,  except in real life dissent has far fewer consequences.”

In his third and possibly final review of Soda Shaq, Old Brutus again invoked the spirit of – and infringed upon the copyright to – Joey’s World Tour to bring the sale home to the gang®.

This review is wholeheartedly endorsed by Lebal Drocer, Inc.
We own everything that matters.

Go out and getcha sum, gang.