New Game Call of Duty: Modern Occupation 2 Makes Imperialism Fun Again

Experience the awesome realism of day-to-day military operations from the eyes of a grizzled xenophobic Alabaman named Jeff Cleburn, and count the days until he rotates out of this shithole. . . .

miley-cyrus-lapdance-video

Like your uncircumcised, shriveled up little excuse for a winky, The Chronicle.SU has risen to the call of the next, and possibly last, Miley Cyrus article. . . .

When Families Grieve – A Very Special PBS Special

Lockheed-Martin pays Elmo and some other puppets go on PBS tonight to tell kids how to cope with death as a result of suicide, illness and war. . . .

VIDEO FOOTAGE EXPOSES PENTAGON MURDER COVER-UP

This isn’t our job. Why aren’t you doing it? Cover this shit on your own so we can get back to satire, please. . . .

ANTI-WAR PROTEST IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

Washington, D.C.–Tens of thousands of protesters are expected to gather in front of the White House to protest the Afghanistan and Iraq wars. Elf Wax reports live from noon to six. . . .

Victory in Iraq!

ZombieTime.Com proclaimed victory in Iraq yesterday, and celebration has rippled through the Conservative blogosphere. In a complicated modern world, it’s important that we mark events in black and white, and know where we stand. If we want victory, we must respect ZombieTime.Com’s decision to be the official decider of . . .

AL QAEDA LEADER IN IRAQ NOT CAPTURED

On an unrelated note, the War will continue.The man suspected to be the Al Qaeda leader in Iraq was found snoozing in a house in the Northern city of Mosul. The man confessed to being the owner of the long, unpronounceable name shown above but the military has yet to . . .