Neoliberalism Restored in Far Corner of Empire

After an incident at a local temple involving table-turning and preying on widows, authorities were tipped off to to the healer-prophet-vagabond’s whereabouts by Judas Iscariot, a former follower turned whistleblower. . . .

UNIVERSE THREATENED BY NONEXISTENCE

Donate bitcoins to chronicle.su and reserve your place TODAY among a newly rearranged, inverted cosmos of mathematical novelty . . .

Area Christian Too Cool For The Devil

“You can’t hold onto hate. I used to hate my abusers for what they did to me, and I hated people who took me away from God. But now I don’t hate anything, except for terrorists, really. And Islam.” . . .

Jesus was a Capitalist

RARE FACT: Jesus hated socialism! . . .

Chronicle.SU LIES!

Today’s news comes as no surprise at all, you fucking spineless bastards! . . .

Obama Meets Terrorist Demands

Obama institutes Muslim Christmas, an official U.S. Holiday that is not to be reckoned with. War on Terror is ‘over’ – terror decidedly winner. . . .

The Elf Wax Times Boasts Monumental Success

The Elf Wax Times has exploded onto your computer screen like a poorly-timed orgasm. Read more to find out how literal this disgusting metaphor really is! . . .

Jesus resurrected for Nazi Zombies 2

As it was foretold in the final book of Daniel, Jesus Christ has once again arisen to appear in Treyarch’s Nazi Zombies! . . .

Intelligent Design to End Life on Earth

Scientists have invented Life 2.0, and it’s going to kill you! . . .

Religion 101

There is nothing wrong with religion. I have no problem with religion. Religious people, on the other hand, are a different story.

Why can’t someone go to church, rejoice, pray, go home, and keep their beliefs to themselves?

Why can’t religious people simply enjoy their religion, without trying to force it on other people, or . . .