PRESSTORM SCRAMBLES TO SUPPRESS TRUTH

FEATURING LEAKED AUDIO . . .

Ava K Lamb Exclusive Report

Don’t be afraid to fall in love. . . .

Th3j35t3r’s lie

Feels bad, man

On Sunday, Chronicle.SU was attacked by th3j35t3r, noteworthy Anonymous pedophile. On Wednesday, Chronicle.SU rose from the dead – kind of like Jesus over there, except this really happened. Now, while th3j35t3r is carrying out yet more superficial attacks on WikiLeaks, we’d like to share with the world exactly . . .

Hunter S Thompson: Still Alive!

Tired of writing, Hunter S. Thompson apparently faked his own death. . . .

ANONNEWS.ORG RUN BY UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT

THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT IS REPORTEDLY BEHIND THE OPERATION OF ANONYMOUS “NEWS SOURCE” ANONNEWS.ORG . . .

chronicle.SUE

Communists posing as Capitalist Communists got you down? Try idle threats – they worked during the Cold War! Freedom isn’t free! Join the revolution – the Roanoke Revolution – and stand up to the freedom of speech today. FOR GREAT VICTORY! Speak out louder against those who speak out against you. . . .

Elf Wax Times announces anti-lesbian platform

The Elf Wax Times doesn’t hate lesbians, but statistics show that as the number of lesbians increase, the number of girls willing to fuck Elf Wax staff writers declines, threatening America’s freedom. . . .

Reporters Fired Worldwide

Elf Wax Tech Watch is a new segment in which technological trends are examined in depth. Today’s article is how “virtual literacy” relates to the now dead newspaper industry.

Technological change has widely shut down newspapers for the past decade, and today the last paid reporter has punched his clock for the last time. Nobody . . .

The Answer to the Questioning of Everything

Collegetown,USA—Very few classes teach us to ask questions.Quite the opposite, we are taught not to question, but to remember.But how does one learn without asking questions?What are we really being taught?

April’s Fool.Here you are, operating on the knowledge of those who died and lived before you.That . . .

This one’s on me, Roajoke.

Now, I don’t normally do this. Hell, I never do this. But if anyone’s got the right make fun of Roanoke, it’s either a current or former citizen. NOT some wackjob from Tucson, Arizona! They can’t even spell Tooson right. Lost? You should be. Here’s the deal. Dolla Billz came across this lovely article, . . .