STRATFOR HACK A FALSE FLAG!

Sabu of Anonymous worked with the FBI to engineer the release of internal Stratfor e-mails. . . .

Local Man Issued Citation For Driving Correctly Near Children

A local pig brings home the bacon at the expense of decency, human evolution, and his own reputation. . . .

NEW MANDATE: Guns for the Blind

A group of people once discriminated against by gun traders are now required by law to carry a sidearm. . . .

Stoner realizes speed of Earth's movement through space, blows mind

A Cave Spring-area youth was high on marijuana today when he realized that time does not exist and therefore […] . . .

Noggin

Head. Fellatio. Hummer. Blowjob. Going down. Tooting the horn. Playing the skin flute. Smoking the pole. Polishing the knob. Addressing the court.

No matter what you call it, we all love it. If you can find a girl who is good at it, and will do it regularly, you should marry her…….marry her right now, . . .

FBI DIRECTOR WINS WAR ON DRUGS

Washington, D.C.– In a harrowing defense of marijuana’s ongoing criminal status, FBI Director Robert Mueller successfully lumped marijuana in with all drugs. Dopes on the list include meth, heroin, oxycontin, crack and cocaine, but not alcohol, during a debate with Steve Cohen (D-TN). “Alcohol,” he said, “is just poisonous . . .

LSD FOUND IN ROANOKE WATER SUPPLY, ALL WATER SHUT OFF

ROANOKE, VA–As a result of the recent findings of pharmaceutical drugs in tap water across the U.S., a local study in Roanoke, Virginia has found traces of lysergic acid diethylamide(LSD) in the community’s water supply. Experts say the water supply could’ve been “spiked” many years ago. . . .